


Fake it 'til you make it

by TheRoonilWazzlib



Series: Fake it 'til you make it [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Break Up, Breaking Up & Making Up, Bucky Barnes Feels, Coming Out, Developing Relationship, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Inspired by To All The Boys I've Loved Before, M/M, Mutual Pining, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Not Beta Read, Pining, Romantic Fluff, Steve Rogers Is a Good Bro, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Underage Drinking, pure fluff, so much pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:46:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 40,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27090712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRoonilWazzlib/pseuds/TheRoonilWazzlib
Summary: Anthony Edward Stark was an asshole. A complete and utter twat. A douchebag of the worst sort. A case of the worst… Perfect face Bucky has ever seen. The biggest idiot with the most beautiful eyes. The most charming smile…One thing leads to another, and Bucky finds himself in a fake relationship with Tony Stark in order to keep his friendship with Steve. Problem, he has a very real crush on said Tony Stark. So yeah. Not the best of situations.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark
Series: Fake it 'til you make it [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2038530
Comments: 123
Kudos: 159





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So ! Like the tags said, it's very very inspired by To All The Boys I've Loved Before ! I'm guilty yeah. But I loved the movie and thought it would be nice. Hope you like it anyway ! 
> 
> I'll add tags as I go and I don't know how long this fic is going to be, but I hope you enjoy the ride :)

Anthony Edward Stark was an asshole. A complete and utter twat. A douchebag of the worst sort. A case of the worst… Perfect face Bucky has ever seen. The biggest idiot with the most beautiful eyes. The most charming smile…   
  
Okay. So maybe Bucky was maybe, just a bit, crushing on said asshole. He had done everything to forget about it, obviously. Because that was embarrassing. Because his best friend Steve hated him. Because their group friend hated him. Because he was a rich prick just pavaning the school like it was his.    
But he couldn’t help it. It had started in freshman year. He had been stuck on a physics homeworks in the library, and Tony had come swooping in. Thinking of it, it looked as if he wanted to hide from somebody.    
  
At first, he had just sat at Bucky’s opposite, and had managed to almost hide completely his face behind a binder. But after a few moments of Bucky just looking at him, he had sighted. “What ?”    
  
\- “Nothing. You’re being weird and I’m stuck on my homework so I’m looking at you.” He had just responded, with a lot more sass that he was used to having. He had blushed immediately, and had looked at his blanked page.   
  
\- “Well okay, that was snappy for no reason.” But when Bucky had looked at him again, Tony was smiling. A big and amused smile. “What are you working on ?”   
  
\- “Physics.”    
  
\- “Okay. Let me see.” Without any invitation, he had sat in the chair next to his, dragged himself so close Bucky could smell his perfume and proceeded to teach him all about physics. He was a brilliant teacher.   
  
But when 5pm rang, he had just scrambled to his feets muttering “look at the time” and with an apologetic smile and a “ Sorry Brooklyn”, he was out the door.    
Bucky hadn’t talked to him since.    
  
See, they were coming from very different social classes. Of course. Tony was rich, filthy rich, and could probably afford the best private school in the state, nay the country. While Bucky was in this school on a sports scholarship, since he was pretty talented at baseball, and lacrosse. SHIELD High School had a very good reputation, and with their scholarships could brag about mixing up teenagers.    
Truth was, there were a lot of rich assholes, basic assholes and some good people. Almost like a normal school.    
Tony was hanging out with the rich assholes. Hammer and Stone, principally. There was also Sunset Baines, Tony’s on and off girlfriend.    
In the meanwhile, Bucky was hanging with what he could say was the right people. Steve Rogers, and Sam Wilson. Sometimes Clint Barton would hang out with them, but he preferred the company of one scary Natasha Romanoff, who no one really knew at school except for Clint.    
  
So yeah. Bucky had developed a small crush, 2 years ago on an asshole, nothing big. It wasn’t as if he had acted on those tiny teeny feelings anyway. He just just wrote them down and that was it. Yes, it was a bit dumb and old fashionned, but his Ma had always told him that writing down feelings on paper would help him clear his things. It had started young, when he could barely write. He had started stating how angry his Father’s departure had made him. Then how upset he was when Steve was being a dumb idiot and getting them into fights. How disappointed he was he didn’t have that toy he wanted.    
But then his Ma had told him writing happy things too would help. So he did.    
  
And when he had his first crush, he had started writing a letter. Like he was talking to the recipient of said crush. He had written them all letters. There were 4, to this day. Steve Rogers, David, Natasha, and Tony.    
  
See, David was not important. He was just a nice guy from a summer he spent working at a drugstore. He forgot all about David and his crush when he was not thinking about it. It was nice that he had wrote it down, so he could remember how at that time he thought he wanted to spend his life with that guy.    
Natasha was something else. It wasn’t really a crush. It had been just pure chaos in his head when he had seen her. She was so beautiful. He thought maybe he wasn’t gay. But writing it down, he just realized he was impressed by her, and it was just that. She was really beautiful. And a bit scary.    
Tony, it was something else. It had been his first real crush in years who didn’t go away after some time. He had even thought that maybe he could try talking to the guy, before discovering Sunset Bain and her killer eyes. (literally.)   
  
And Steve. Steve was not really just a crush. He had been in love with Steve. For a moment. When he discovered what he was. But then, slowly, it had morphed back to friendship. Steve was only his best friend. Bucky could swore it.

Okay. Maybe when he was watching romantic movies, he couldn’t help but think that the “best friend to lovers” plot was really nice. That Steve was the one who knew him best, and maybe that was what a real partner in life was. But Steve was straight. Wasn’t interested. So Bucky just had to pretend like all of his feelings were water under the bridge. Definitely.

  
So yeah, letters. Bucky had them. Stashed under his bed. And it was fine this way. It wasn’t meant to be seen.    
That’s when all got fucked up. Because the letters were sent. And if that wasn’t hell, Bucky didn’t know what was. 

  
  
Because on a chilly monday morning, while he was patiently waiting for Steve to show his face up, sitting on a wall, it all went to shit.    
  
\- “Hey ? Mh.. Barnes ?” Bucky frowned, and turned his head to see Tony Stark coming up to him. Why was Tony Stark calling him ? How did Tony Stark know his name ? What ? Why ? How ?    
  
And.. What was that paper in his hand ?    
  
\- “Uh, yeah ?”    
  
Tony kept coming up to him, looking a weird mixture of embarrassed and friendly. It wasn’t supposed to be a good look, on anyone, but on him it wasn’t that bad.    
  
\- “I.. Mh, listen… That’s not to say I’m not flattered but..”   
  
\- “What ?” What was happening. A weird shiver passed through him.    
  
\- “Okay I received your letter and as nice as the.. Sentiments in it are.. Well..”    
  
He didn’t hear anything after that. All he could hear was the blood rushing through his head. Because yes, in Tony Fucking Stark’s hand, was Bucky’s love letter. And that.. Was bad… How did he get it ? Why ? How ? When ? Everything came crashing down on him.    
But the worst was just about to happen, because when he turned his head, he saw Steve. Looking worried. And.. With a letter in hand.   
Oh fuck no. He was coming toward them. It couldn’t. Fuck. He didn’t think. Looking back at Stark, he grabbed him by his coat’s lapels and yanked him toward him, crushing his lips with his. Well. That was done. Maybe now Steve won’t ask questions. Maybe all will be well and they would all laugh at this in years to come.    
  
The kiss was brutal, and short, and tongueless of course, but still, he couldn’t help but notice how soft and nice Tony’s lips were. When he let go and licked his own lips, he could almost taste coffee.    
He then proceeded to flee.    
  
\- “Well, see you later !”    
  
And with that he grabbed his back, got to his feets and almost ran to class. He was so fucked…    
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello ! :) 
> 
> This chapter is from Tony's POV, so it is retelling some of the things from the first one, but normally the next ones won't rehash again what's been told before !
> 
> Also just to make it clear because i've received comments : it's not tagged as a Stucky because it's NOT STUCKY AT ALL. I thought it was clear from the first Chapter, but Bucky isn't really in love with Steve, he just thinks the idea of being with him is nice. I'll go more on that in the next chapters I think, but really trust me when I say it's really only Winteriron. It's heavily based on the movie To All The Boys I've Done Before, and even if I mix it up a bit, Bucky is primarily Lara-Jean and Steve is Josh, so nothing will happen between them.   
> So, I don't think it's fair to tag stucky when there won't be any. Hope you understand !
> 
> Thanks you for reading anyways ! Hope you like it !

Tony woke up with a loud thump. Thump made by his body hitting the floor after just falling off his bed.   
Damn his mother and her needs for all bed sheets to be fucking silk. That was the worst.    
A whine escaped his lips, and fuck. His head was full off cotton but at the same time incredibly heavy and hurting like hell. It felt as if something had died in his mouth, and moving the tiniest muscle was torture. So, he was out partying with Sunset and Stone yesterday. Of course. He didn’t remember it, not right now, but if he felt this bad, it could only mean that. And it didn’t end well, if he trusted how really bad he was feeling. Just at this moment, someone knocked violently at the door.   
  
\- “Master Anthony ? You should get ready for school, or you’ll be late, again.”    
  
Ah. Yeah of course. It was Monday. Fuck. A simple whine answered Jarvis, and Tony used all of his resources to get up. It was just another morning, he could do it.    
Forty five minutes later, he had showered, brushed two times his teeth, and was inhaling coffee after one or two aspirins to ease his head. Jarvis kindly reminded him to move his ass quickly, and seeing the state of Tony, decided to drive him to school. Probably a good thing. He could drink even more coffee on the back of the car. But before leaving the manor, Jarvis stopped him.   
  
\- “You received a letter, Master Anthony.”    
  
He handed him a white envelope, and okay that was weird, but the fact that the name and address was in cursive threw him off the loop. Who could write him a letter ? Maybe Pepper, for shits and giggle, but that would be a waste of time and Pepper wasn’t about that at all… He murmured a thanks and took it, opening it (destroying almost completely the envelope) while in the car. And well, if that wasn’t the weirdest fucking thing ever.   
  
How could a letter could be at the same time very nice and sweet and very insulting ? In the same paragraph, he was called an asshole but then a very nice person. That was somewhat off putting. The part about his “very pretty eyes” though, made up for it. So. A crush letter. A love letter ? Nah.    
Who wrote that shit ? His eyes were almost too wide for his face by the time he went to the name at the bottom. James Barnes… Barnes… Wait ? That was familiar, why was it so familiar… The hangover really didn’t help. But then it hit him. Barnes was the fucking sports guy in his school. Him and his best bud Rogers, who were attractive enough to be cool but somehow were not. Probably because they were big nerds and, in all honesty, not rich enough to be considered cool in this school.    
  
Of course, re-reading the letter, he kind of remembered. Yes, he had helped Barnes for physics homeworks, but that was like 2 years ago. He was just hiding from Hammers at that time, because the guy couldn’t shut up. But then James and his big blue eyes, he had seemed lost, admitted why, and Tony fell for it. He helped him, and seeing the time and how Howard would crush his head if he was late for the business dinner he had this evening, nothing but ran to his house. And he hadn’t talked to Barnes ever since.    
He never knew the guy had a big boner for him. Hell, he didn’t know he was gay. Bi. Pan. Whatever, attracted to men. Even if, since he and Rogers were sewn at the hip he thought there were kind of an item. Maybe he was wrong…    
  
  
\- “We’re arrived, Master Anthony.”    
  
\- “Ah.” Fuck, he hadn’t realized they were already at the high-school. He downed the rest of his coffee and gave back the thermos to Jarvis. “See you tonight, Jarvis. Thank you, again..” With a small smile, he got out of the car and frowned. So. Barnes had.. Has ? a crush on him. Okay. Well, probably the latter, since he sent a fucking letter. He needed to talk to him.   
  
Walking towards the school, he re-read the lines one more time.    
“Maybe you’re more than what people think of you. More than you let on.” Yeah right.. He almost tripped someone and muttered an apology, but when he looked up, Barnes was sitting in front of him. Fuck. He went right to him, without thinking first.   
  
\- “Hey ? Mh.. Barnes ?” He waited for the guy to respond, which he did, with the look of a deer caught in headlights.    
  
\- “Uh, yeah ?”   
  


He kept walking towards him, and ended up facing him. At least he wouldn’t have to talk very loudly and no one would have to know. It’s not like he wanted to embarrass the guy, right ?    
  
\- “I.. Mh, listen… That’s not to say I’m not flattered but..” Dear, how could he say it ?    
  
\- “What ?” He looked outright panicky. God. Tony was an asshole ? But he was with Sunset, and as beautiful Barnes eyes were - holy shit Tony hadn’t noticed before now, did he ? - he wasn’t the kind of guy who would lead someone on like that. Deep breath Tony.   
  
\- “Okay I received your letter and as nice as the.. Sentiments in it are.. Well… Really I’m flattered, but you know, I’m with Sunset, and I wouldn’t want you to.. Erh keep hoping.. I mean you seem like a nice guy and all and.. It’s really nice that you think my eyes have golden specks in them but…”    
  
Barnes was looking worse and worse, and Tony didn’t know how to wrap it up, when IT happened. When Barnes fucking grabbed him and kissed him. Well. That was way too much to handle for Hangover-Brain right now. He couldn’t even move, didn’t know if he could really since Barnes had a pretty vicious grip on his coat. And just like it started, it was over.    
  
Tony slowly blinked, trying to make sense of everything that happened. Barnes liked him. Barnes kissed him. But wasn’t Tony trying to say he wasn’t interested ? Fuck. He was still trying to wrap his head around it when Barnes got to his feet and after grabbing his backpack, fled the scene. Well. That was too much.    
When he turned around, all he could see was Rogers, looking really pale and shocked. Without thinking, Tony went all StarkTM mode, smirked and nodded at him. He then turned around and walked away too. And kept walking, because thinking of it, he was kind of afraid of Rogers just beating him to a pulp for stealing his man. Okay. Not good. Fuck. Everything was way too much for his melted brain. He decided to fuck off to an empty classroom in the Science Department, his favorite hidey-hole on monday mornings.    
  
He slumped against the wall in the back of the room and tried breathing exercises he saw on youtube once. When that kind of worked for a minute, he re-opened his eyes and fished his phone in his coat. It had exactly 3% of battery left, so that was no good. And he had barely time to read the texts on there.   
  
So that’s why he had drank so much last night. He now remembered. Sunset had broken up with him. For Ty. And had when Tony had tried to go mean and personnel as a revenge, she outdid him quickly and fucked him over. Yeah yeah yeah.    
His life was just great now, was it ?    
Well, at least he could maybe go on a date with Barnes now, huh ?    
He decided to stop thinking about all of that. A small hour of shut-eyes would do him good. Yeah. Just an hour. And then maybe all would be clear when he woke up.    


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take care !


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello ! 
> 
> Quite a lot of talking in this chapter, so brace yourself !

Bucky couldn’t believe what he had done. He had kissed Anthony Edward Stark. Because said Stark had received a love letter he had written 2 years ago. And also because he had tried to avoid a painful conversation with his best friend Steve, who also had received a love letter.  
The more he tried to make sense of these words, the less it did. He felt like he was in another dimension. What else could explain it ? The whole thing was batshit crazy. He wanted to throw up. Which was probably why the teacher suggested he go to the nurse. Right. At least he could avoid Steve a little bit longer if he could try and go home. He still hadn’t seen the blonde after his stunt in the parking lot, and if it could stay like that for a moment he would be thankful to whatever god would allow him this.   
  
He let his feet carry him to the nurse’s office, all while thinking like crazy. How was he supposed to get out of this very awkward, painful and stupid situation ? “Okay listen Stark, I didn’t mean to kiss you, it was a stupid crush from 2 years ago, don’t let your hopes up.” Except… Except Bucky could still feel Stark’s lips on his. How could the man have such soft lips ? Fuck. “Alright Steve, here’s the thing.. You were kind of my gay awakening, and I’m like 70 percent sure it’s over but…” No. No no no.   
He was so fucked.   
  
He just realized he was finally in front of the office’s door. He proceeded to knock, explain that his stomach was just really bugging him and he was feeling under the weather, and was left waiting while the nurse was calling his mom, for her to agree to let him go. He just kept starring at the poster promoting condoms for safe sex, almost without blinking while waiting. Real great there, Barnes. Great.   
After a while, she finally told him he was free to go, that his mother expected a call when he was home or else. Great. Okay. He could do that.   
  
He slipped out of school, and seemed to only breathe properly when he was outside. He had a whole day to think about it. He could do it. Yeah. Everything would be fine.   
He was halfway through the parking lot when he collided with Stark. He seemed to have come from the back door of the main building.   
  
\- “Uh, sorry.” He said, without thinking, adjusting his bag.   
  
\- “For what mh ?” There it was, that classic Stark smirk, who irritated a whole lot of people but kind of made Bucky weak on his knees. Okay he knew that was just a fake, press smile, but whatever. “Kissing me without my consent this morning then running off ? Or… Giving me a love letter full of insults ?” He raised an eyebrow.   
  
\- “Wh-..” Okay, Bucky could now feel the blush go all the way down his neck. He hoped nothing would be more awkward in his life than this. “I.. Mh.. Listen, Stark I..”   
  
\- “Tony.” He interrupted, still smiling, even though it seemed a bit more sincere now.   
  
\- “To.. Listen, that letter is.. A hoax. Yeah. Just a prank. Haha. Got ya !” He had the audacity to poke the guy. God he was stupid.   
  
\- “A prank mh ?” He looked at Bucky from eyes to shoes. “Well, you need to apologize for real.” He fumbled with his coat, getting cigarettes out of his pocket. Gosh, Stark smoked ? He didn’t know that.   
  
He couldn’t think of anything to say, just trying to think of something that could explain it all away and could get him off everything. Nothing came to mind.   
  
\- “Yeah, that’s what I thought.” Stark said again, blowing smoke away from Bucky’s face. “Listen, it’s a nice sentiment, really, but.. We’re in a weird thing with Sunset and..”   
  
\- “I don’t want to be with you !” God, that came out wrong. It was even a little bit insulting, wasn’t it ? He saw Stark’s eyes get a little bit colder, harder, and his smile disappeared.   
  
\- “Well, what a really funny prank then Barnes. Takes the gold.” He shook his head and started walking again, towards the bus stop. God, Bucky was being a real dick. Fuck. Whatever, he prefered being known as a stupid dork and get rejected by Tony Fucking Stark that being known for being a jerk. Even if Tony was surely what everything made out of him, he didn’t deserve that, not from him at least. The guy never hurt Bucky.   
  
\- “St-.. Tony wait !” He caught up with him quickly. “Okay, I’ll explain.” Tony stopped and looked at him, cigarettes between his lips. It shouldn’t have been sexy, but it kind of was and god this was going to hurt for Bucky. “It’s not.. It’s not a prank. I.. I actually thought what I wrote but.. I mean it was two years ago.”   
  
\- “So why send it now ?” He frowned.   
  
\- “I didn’t. I mean.. Someone did. But it wasn’t supposed to get out.. I’m sorry.”   
  
Silence fell for a good minute, while Tony smoked slowly. He proceeded to crush the butt with his foot, then looked up at Bucky again.   
  
\- “Okay. But then why did you kiss me ?” He crossed his arms.   
  
\- “I.. Okay. Mh. First of all, for context, you’re not the only one to have received a letter.” An eyebrow raised invited him to continue. “I.. I wrote one for every.. Mh crush, I had.”   
  
\- “Okay, who ?” The smirk was back again.   
  
\- “What ? I don’t have to tell you.” He felt defensive.   
  
\- “Okay but you don’t expect me to believe you that easy, right ? You’ll be remembered as a weird lying stalker if you don’t ‘fess up.” That was just plain mean. But the smirk was still here. God.   
  
\- “Fine. Steve, Natasha, a guy not from this school and you.” Tony's smile grew wider and wider. 

\- “Wait ! Natasha, as in Natasha Romanoff ? You had a crush on Romanoff ?”   
  
\- “Not.. Not really, it was a doubting in my gay self I.. Oh I don’t have to tell you anything ! Shut up !” The guy had the audacity to stifle a laugh. But it made his eyes all shiny, so maybe Bucky didn’t mind that much.   
  
\- “Okay okay. I believe you now. I’m not the only one who caught your fancy.” He fucking winked at that. Ugh. “But still. Why the kiss eh ?”   
  
Bucky was twisting his hands together at that point. That maybe was the most awkward thing.   
  
\- “I.. I didn’t want Steve to know that I was gay… And mh.. To think I still had a.. Thing for him.” Tony frowned for real at that, like it was the most confusing thing ever. Which. Maybe it was. Okay. Not a whole lot of things made sense today.   
  
\- “You… Kissed a guy in front of your friend for him to know you weren’t gay ?”   
  
\- “For him ! Gay for him.. I.. I panicked.” He could almost see the gear turning in Tony’s brain.   
  
\- “But you do realize that he’ll still talk to you like, probably at lunch or something ? What will you do then ?” The eyebrow went up again.   
  
\- “I.. I don’t know. I’ll crush that bridge when I come to it.”   
  
A silence fell on them for a long minute. It felt like one of the longest minutes in Bucky’s life. Tony was clearly thinking, but about what ? Was he about to decide to just make fun of the whole thing with his friend group ? He could already see the look on Bain’s and Stone’s faces when he would tell them. God.   
  
\- “Or. We could pretend to be dating.”   
  
Well. That was not what Bucky was expecting. He just looked at Tony and blinked, one, two, three times.   
  
\- “What ?”   
  
\- “Yeah ! We pretend to be dating for a few weeks, months, whatever, you convince Rogers you don’t care about him any longer - I mean look at me, who would dare care about Rogers when you could tap that - and then we break up nice and easy, job done.   
  
That was crazy. The craziest thing. Bucky was really in another dimension, nothing could explain that.   
  
\- “What’s in it for you ?” He couldn’t help but ask. That didn’t make much sense, it would help him, but why would Tony go to all that trouble for him. They weren’t even friends.   
  
\- “Short version ? I just broke up with Sunset and I want to win the break up. Or get her back. I don’t know yet, I’m still pretty hungover and I need 3 hours of sleep at minimum to know for sure.” He smiled.   
  
Nothing made sense in all of that. Bucky didn’t understand any of it. Who could just say that, first of all ? The guy didn't know if he wanted his ex back or if he wanted what ? To win the break up ? What even was that ?   
  
\- “You’re crazy.” He shook his head.   
  
\- “What ? No I’m not.” A car suddenly pulled, not far from where they were standing. “Hey, that’s my ride. Need me to get you home ?” He lifted his hands in a peace gesture, since Bucky was about to protest. “Just get you home, I promise. And you know what, I’ll let you think about it, not another word on the subject until you made your decision.” He gestured toward the car. “C’mon, let’s go. Jarvis will have my head if I let you freeze your ass outside.”   
  
Before Bucky could say anything, he grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the car. He opened the door wide and without letting any beat pass, said loud and clear “We need to make a detour, Jarv’, my friend James here needs to get home. He’s sick too, would you believe it.” He added with a wink, while getting himself in the car. Bucky felt obliged to get in too, and couldn’t help but notice the nice feeling in his stomach when Tony called him James. He produced a small “Hi” towards the man apparently named Jarvis, and produced an address when asked.   
  
Again, he didn’t feel the passing of times, thinking and thinking again, being a bit lulled by the car moving. It came almost as a surprise when Tony said they were there.   
  
\- “Alright. I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah Brooklyn ?” Bucky only nodded and got out of the car, but Tony added “Think about it” before closing the car door.   
  
Bucky didn’t think anything weirder could happen to him, ever. Tony Stark had proposed a fake relationship.   
And it wasn’t even 10 in the morning.   
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take care !


	4. Chapter 4

He decided the best course of action, after having called his Ma was to go back to sleep. He felt nauseous and weird and maybe, just maybe a good sleep would solve everything. Maybe when he would wake up, everything would go away. No letters sent, no Stevie asking questions, no Stark proposing a fake relationship, no nothing. That would be great. With that last thought, he went to sleep.    
  
He woke up with a start after a small “thump” beside him. His phone had just comitted suicide and was lying on the floor, still vibrating loudly. God. He grabbed it and answered it without looking at the screen.   
  
\- “Yeah ?”    
  
\- “Bucky ! God I was so worried, where are you ? Did something happened with Stark ? He’s missing from school too, did he kidnap you or something ?”    
  
Okay. Nothing in those sentences were normal. Bucky just frowned and massaged his temple for a moment, trying to make sense of it. When a long minute of silence passed, Steve tried again.    
  
\- “Bucky ? Bucky !”    
  
\- “What ? What the.. What the hell Steve ?”    
  
\- “Where are you Bucky ??”    
  
\- “At home ! I.. I felt sick. The nurse told me to go home…” Wait, why was he feeling bad this morning ? Everything came back to him all of the sudden. Oh. That’s why Stevie was talking about Stark…    
  
\- “Oh ! God I was so worried Buck.. I.. I received this weird letter and then.. You kissed Stark ?”    
  
There. Bucky felt sick again. He needed to explain. He should explain. He had to.    
  
\- “I.. Listen Steve, I don’t really feel good right now, I think I’ll go back to sleep..” There. Maybe it could buy him some time.   
  
\- “Wh.. Okay Bucky. I’ll come after school to check on you alright ? I think we need to talk. See you later.” And with that, he hung up.   
  
And that was worse than anything. Why would Steve come ? It was going to be so much harder in person. And suddenly, Stark words were back in his mind. “We could pretend to be dating.”    
For sure, Steve would not ask too many questions if he said that. At least he wouldn’t think Bucky was in love with him, that’s for sure. At the same time… At the same time, Bucky knew Steve’s hatred for Stark. He thought the guy was just a rich prick, Daddy’s son who could have everything and anything he wanted. He would always kind of cringe seeing him arrive in his Audi in the mornings. But what choice did Bucky have ? No one would accept to fake date him. At least with Stark, he kind of seemed like he would get something out of it, so motivation was here. No need to embarrass himself further by asking someone else to do it. And maybe, since him and Stark’s crowd didn’t mix well, Stark wouldn’t have to be in his little group. They would have fake dates, just the two of them, and that would be it. No need to mix.    
  
The more he thought about it, the more it kind of made sense. A weird kind of sense, still, because it wasn’t that great of a situation, but at least it would help him. To convince Steve it was only a thing of the past, long gone.    
But all of it suddenly came crashing down in Bucky’s head. Because he just realized he made his fucking coming out on a monday morning by kissing a guy at the entry of the school. Not even Steve knew he liked guys.. Only his Ma. Maybe that was also a thing Steve wanted to talk about. He just discovered his best friend was gay. What if, even if he pretended to be with Stark, Steve would hate him for being like that ? The mere thought brought tears to Bucky’s eyes. Maybe he was about to lose his best friends, maybe all of his friends, because someone had gone and sent his letters, and Bucky had acted without thinking. God. He looked down on his phone and saw that before Steve’s call, there were texts. A dozen of them. Mostly from Steve (9), two from Natasha and one from Clint.   
  
_ Clint - 8:45 : Dude ? Stark, really ? _ _  
_ _  
_ _ Natasha - 8h30 : Talk. At break, bathroom. _ _  
_ _ Natasha - 8:40 : Nevermind, talk later.  _ _  
_ _  
_ _ Steve - 8:00 : Bucky I read your letter… We need to talk _ _  
_ _ Steve - 8:30 : You just kissed Stark, wtf _ _  
_ _ Steve - 8:31 : Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that, but wtf ? I mean, I didn’t know you liked him !  _ _  
_ _ Steve - 8:40 : Bucky where are you ?  _ _  
_ _ Steve - 8:50 : Seriously, dude, wtf ?  _ _  
_ _ Steve - 9:41 : Okay I’m starting to get worried… Did Stark do something to you ?  _ _  
_ _ Steve - 9:58 : Are you still at school ? If by lunch you haven’t text back I’ll call you Ma  _ _  
_ _ Steve - 10:12 : Bucky I didn’t want to scare you, it’s okay if you like Stark, I mean weird, but you don’t have to avoid me ??  _ _  
_ _ Steve - 10:55 : I hope you are okay.  _ _  
_ _  
_ And in between all of the texts after the third one was calls. Steve had really tried to talk to him. But what made him feel better was the two last ones, of course. Because he seemed like he didn’t care for Bucky being gay, or Bucky being with Stark. The main problem with all of that was that surprise. Maybe Steve would only be mad at him for not telling him anything.    
Maybe everything would be okay. He decided to text Steve back.   
  
_ To Steve - 11:24 : Sorry, I’m just really feeling under the weather, but it’s passing. Didn’t want to worry you. And I don’t want you getting what I have. Maybe we should see each other tomorrow. Talk to you later about everything.  _ _  
_ _  
_ He received almost immediatly a response. _  
_ _  
_ _ Steve - 11:26 : No problem. Get well, punk. See you later. _ _  
_ _  
_ Maybe it was going to be okay. Bucky could almost smile to the thought. He then thought about sending a text to Stark to tell him he was in for the deal, but remembered he didn’t have his number, and going through facebook was just stupid. He would tell him tomorrow.    
With that, he fell asleep a bit more and maybe dreamed about Stark. No one needed to know.   
  
When his Ma got home that night, he had made dinner and a pie, and was feeling much better. He told her he must have been something he ate in the morning, inventing a bagel brought by Clint and that put her mind at ease. He kept reciting everything he would tell Steve the morning after, and Stark too. They should have a clear deal, to make sure no missteps would happen. And some things to make believe a little bit better. He finished his homework, sent by Steve to him, and went early to sleep.   
  
  
  
The next morning, anxiety was definitely back in his boots. Nothing was going to go well, if he listened to his guts. And his guts was probably right. After all, it was a crazy plan. And a nasty little voice in his head kept telling him that no one in hell would believe that Stark would ever date him. But he tried his best to shut it up. Yes, Stark would never date him for real, but no one had to know that.    
He bid his Ma goodbye a little early, and hoped for Stark to not be late for once, or even early. He took the bus and decided to walk the small distance between the stop and the parking lot extra slow, just in case. He didn’t see neither Steve nor Natasha, Clint was probably late, and Sam already inside. He blinked when he saw Stark’s car, and thought that maybe this was his chance. And indeed, when he arrived in front of the main entrance, Stark was sitting on the small wall, smoking while looking at his phone. That was it. The moment to tell him he was in for the deal. Bucky could do it. Even if his heart was starting to beat faster and faster and faster.    
  
He walked toward him, and stopped right in front of him, the tips of his shoes brushing against Stark’s. Tony lifted his head to look at him, and again, raised a brow, with a small smirk on his lips.    
  
\- “Okay. I’m in. Let’s do this.”    
  
The smirk only grew. Bucky started to think Stark was just about to make fun of him, to say to everyone what a dumbass he was for thinking he would really go in a fake relationship with him, when Tony simply got up, threw his cigarettes butt further on the ground, and in a mimic of yesterday’s gesture, grabbed Bucky and kissed him. Except, this time, it was a real kiss. Tongue and all. It was maybe less agreeable that the day before, since Bucky could taste the tobacco for the most part, but at the same time, Tony kissed well. Like, really well. That was probably the best french kiss he had ever received. But after a moment, he let go of Bucky’s mouth, but kept his hands on his waist. The smile was back.   
  
\- “Great.” He then let go, grabbed his back, and then kissed his cheek (probably because Bucky’s mouth was still a little open). “See you later, sugarplum.” He winked, and walked toward the building, after having looked above Bucky’s shoulder. When Bucky turned his head to look, there was Steve. Okay. He largely prefered the part of his plan where kissing was involved, rather than talking to Steve, he could admit that.    
  
He waited for Steve to get to him, and made a small smile.   
  
\- “I can try and explain... “    
  
\- “Yeah, I’d like that.” He looked at the door where Tony had disappeared like he hesitated going after him.    
  
\- “Okay so. Mh. I’m gay. And.. Dating Tony Stark. Is that enough explanation or…” Steve only glared at him. “Okay. Fine. Erh.. I’m gay.. I wrote love letters… And I’m dating Tony Stark. And…” The bell rang. “I’ll explain everything after class okay ?”    
  
\- “Fine.” He wasn’t glaring anymore, even though Bucky noticed he looked tense as they started walking towards their first class.    
  
\- “I’m sorry, you know. I wish you didn’t read that.” He said, in a small voice.    
  
\- “What ?” Steve turned to look at him, examining his face for a second. “I don’t care about the letters. Feelings are legit, I’m great.” He lightly punched his arm. He was clearly trying to make Bucky feel better. “I just don’t understand why you didn’t tell me anything.”    
  
\- “I.. I’ll explain, promise.” He hesitated, but with a small voice, the question was still asked. “So.. You’re not.. Mad at me ?” The words were heavier than what they seemed. Mad, or disgusted. That was more the real question. Steve actually stopped in their path to look at him.    
  
\- “Of course not. I’ll never be mad at you.” He smiled. Bucky smiled in return. His plan was working so far, then. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take care !


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I kind of cheated with Bucky's explanation to Steve. Sue me. :x But I feel like there's enough dialogue like that, don't you ? 
> 
> Hope you enjoy all the same !

Bucky was pretty satisfied with himself at break, when he finished his story. Steve seemed to believe it, as hard as it was to swallow all of this in one go. He didn’t made Bucky feel bad when, blushing red as a tomato, he explained that Steve was just kind of the only boy he could visualize like that, at the time, and that was more a crush of “you were here and you were nice”, more than “I was madly in love with you”. Saying it, face to face, outloud to Steve made Bucky almost believe himself for real. He wasn’t in love with Steve. He was just his best friend, and of course being in a relationship with your bestfriend when you were alone seemed like a good concept. That was all. Steve was actually really, really accepting of his sexuality, and told him very directly that it would never change anything between them, and Bucky would always be his best friend.

Surprisingly - or not - the worst bit was to convince Steve he was in a relationship with Stark. He simply told him that like him, Stark had received a letter, but thought it really sweet and reached out to Bucky over the week-end. Problem was, they didn’t discuss anything with said boyfriend before, so Bucky was kind of walking on eggs when he told that bit. Of course, Steve asked questions - “But i thought he was with Bain ?” “How long ?” “Why didn’t you tell me anything ?” - and that was kind of hard to think of lies on the spot. Nothing was technically official with Stark, since they had just talked this week-end and had plans to go on a real date soon, was all he could think of. And didn’t want to tell anyone before talking to Tony before, which was what he told Steve. As for Sunset, she very conveniently passed them in a hallway at Stone’s arm, and Bucky silently thanked his guardian angel.   
  
But of course, the hard part was really coming.   
  
\- “So… When are you introducing us ?”   
  
\- “What ?” Bucky chuckled, to hide his discomfort.   
  
\- “Well, introducing us to Stark.”   
  
\- “I.. You guys know him already, anyway.. And it’s kind of.. Really new so.. Mh..”   
  
\- “Oh come on.” He gently hit his shoulder. “It’s your boyfriend. And I mean.. I always thought he was a dick. But if you like him, I wanna find out why !”   
  
Ah. Yes of course. He almost forgot Steve’s hatred for Stark.   
  
\- “Ah.. Aha sure.. I.. I’ll see with him, okay ?”   
  
\- “Sure, dude.” He smiled, even if it was a tensed smile. The worst was yet to come. He suddenly realized all of this could end up with Steve pushing Stark in the face, and that would be bad…   
He broke out of his dire train of thought when a harsh hand landed on his shoulder. He turned and saw Natasha, smiling like a predator all of the sudden, and he felt the pit in his stomach make a triumphant return. Steve, probably remembering the bit about the others letters getting out and just got the hell out of dodge. The bastard.   
  
\- “Bucky, my friend. We need to talk, I think.”   
  
\- “I… Yes. Yes we do Natasha.” He didn’t let himself get any more relaxed when she let go of his shoulder to sit beside him.   
  
\- “I have received your letter. And I do not understand. I thought you were gay, Bucky ?”   
  
\- “Wh..” Bucky could only scoff at that. How did she know ? Wait. Of course, she was Natasha Romanoff. “I am. I.. To be completely honest Nat’, you just were really pretty and I had a big existential crisis at the time. Hence.. The letter.” He twisted his hands while looking at her. Her smile made him feel a bit better.   
  
\- “Ah. I understand better. It makes sense.” She nodded, like in accord with herself on the topic. “Second question. What is that rumour with you and Stark ?”   
  
\- “Uh… Well. He.. He had a letter too. And we are dating.” God. He was not a good liar, and maybe with Steve it would pass, but Natasha was scary good at knowing who was lying.   
  
\- “Are you ?” She plissed her eyes, looking at him like she could see her soul. Okay, maybe Bucky was projecting but…   
  
\- “Yes. We are. I think.” He gulped. “We didn’t have time to properly talk about it.” Half truths, he remembered reading it was the better way of hiding the real truth.   
  
\- “Alright. When you two will have talked, I want you to bring him to us. I want to make sure he is good for you. He seems stupid, but not mean, so maybe there’s hope for you.” He had a lightly forced laugh at that.   
  
\- “Sure, Nat. I will.” God. He hadn’t prepared for Natasha to be the biggest obstacle in all of this.   
  
\- “Besides, you are more pretty than that Bain girl.” Once again, she nodded, and got up. “Let’s go to class now, Bucky.”   
  
\- “Sure.” What was he supposed to respond to that ? He presented her his harm, knowing she liked that, and they went off to class. Now he only needed to see Stark and talk to him.   
  
  
His moment arrived at lunch. He was about to enter the cafeteria when he sensed a hand making his way around his waist and he stopped dead in his tracks to turn around to see who was attached to it. He blinked when he saw that it was Stark, giving them - Steve, Clint and him - his brightest smile. I didn’t work on Steve, though, who just kind of frowned but tried to hide it.   
  
\- “Can I steal him for lunch ?” He said, light and easy, like it was a normal thing. God. At this moment, Bucky understood that it wasn’t going to be a piece of cake to pretend it was true, since he kind of wanted it to be.   
  
\- “Sure.” Steve said, even if he didn’t look that happy about it. “See you later, Bucks.”   
  
\- “See you.” He smiled, and followed Stark to the exit, only thinking about his hand on his hips. As soon as they exited, he took it off.   
  
\- “Hanw, you don’t want me already, Sugarplum ?” Stark smirked, but put his hands in his pocket. “Fancy a lunch at the corner’s dinner ? We can talk about our “arrangement.” He stage-whispered the end, winking at the end.   
  
\- “Uh, yeah sure.” Uh, Bucky didn’t plan on paying for food today, but whatever.   
  
The rest of the walk was made in silence, and Bucky watched Stark charm the waitress all the way to their table. Even ending it with a “thank you darling”. Why was darling such a good word in his mouth ?   
He took one look at his menu, closed it, and placing his head in his hands, watched Bucky until he snapped.   
  
\- “What ?”   
  
\- “Nothing. Just looking at my brand new boyfriend.” He said, with a growing smile.   
  
\- “Oh shut up.” He couldn’t help but blush, and added quickly. “Fake boyfriend. Don’t forget it.” He looked down on his menu, but thought he had seen a hurt of flash passing in Stark’s eyes before doing so.   
  
\- “Right. Fake boyfriend.” He started playing with his fork. The silence following wasn’t a comfortable one. Bucky broke it soon after.   
  
\- “So. Mh. How are we doing this, then ?”   
  
\- “How are we doing what ?”   
  
\- “That. This fake relationship. What are the rules ?”   
  
\- “What rules ?” Stark chuckled, like it was a truly funny concept. But when Bucky only glared at him, he dropped his smile. “You want rules ? Seriously ?”   
  
\- “We have to make people think it’s true ! But also not cross any lines so.. Yeah. Rules. We need ‘em.”   
  
\- “Way to take the fun out of a situation, Barnes…” Stark only sighted, before their waitress was back. They both ordered, and when she was gone again, he still wasn’t looking at Bucky.   
  
\- “So. Rules.” He hesitated. “No more kisses.”   
  
\- “What ?” Stark looked shocked. When Bucky only nodded, looking at him all seriously, he almost threw his hands up in the air. “How are we supposed to be convincing if we don't kiss ! Couples kiss ! All the time even, if it’s a new relationship ! Come on !”   
  
\- “Well first off, I never had a real boyfriend before. So. I don’t want to spend my time kissing someone just for show.” He crossed his arms, and looked pointedly at the table. “And second… We’re a gay couple. I wouldn’t want to.. Get beat up or something.   
  
\- “Barnes, you’re with me, who would dare beat us, beat you up ?” Well, that was a fair point.   
  
\- “First point still stands. No kiss. That’s a definite rule.”   
  
\- “Fine, fine.” Stark sighted once more. “And no one can know about this.”   
  
\- “Duh, first rule of fight club.” When silence met him, he looked up at Stark who was just raising an eyebrow at him. “Wait, you’ve never seen Fight Club ?”   
  
\- “No.” He only responded.   
  
\- “We have to watch that movie. I’ll show it to you.” God, was he proposing to spend time outside school with Stark ?   
  
\- “Erh. Sure. Why not.” He shrugged simply, and thanked the waitress when she brought their burgers. They started eating in silence for a few minutes. Then Bucky had an idea.   
  
\- “You have to come to my matches. It’s baseball season, so..”   
  
\- “What ? No way !” Stark’s looked horrified at the mere idea. What a dick. “They’re always like on saturday mornings, or friday nights, and friday’s a night of party, and saturday a morning of hangover…”   
  
\- “You have to come to my matches, Stark. It would not look good if you didn’t come. Especially to go to parties…” He wrinkled his nose at the idea. He knew Stark liked to party but…   
  
\- “Uhhh. You’re not even my real boyfriend and you’re already so much work.” He rolled his eyes dramatically, but looked hit with another idea. “Fine. I’ll come to your matches… If you go to parties with me. When you can.” He looked at him without blinking. “And by “when you can”, I mean when you don’t have matches the day before or after, not “you don’t want to’, Barnes.”   
  
God. That was a harsh deal. Bucky hated parties. He had a pretty deep case of anxiety around crowds of people, and if he managed for school because well, it was school, parties were not something he enjoyed or even went to. But it seemed like it was set in stone for Stark.   
  
\- “Fine. Fine I’ll come to your dumb parties.” A smile met that declaration, and Tony went on eating.   
  
After that, neither of them could really think of anything to add except little things of public affection. They had to tell no one, come to each other’s “obligations”, and no kisses, but hand holding and hugs were acceptable. Stark ended up taking his phone out and gave it to Bucky while he excused himself, and when Bucky finished entering his number, he was back.   
  
\- “Okay let’s go.” He simply said, taking his phone and a second later, Bucky’s phone pinged with a notification in his coat’s pocket.   
  
\- “What ? But we need to pay.”   
  
\- “Come on. Did that already. Now hurry or we’ll be late, and it’s actually a really good class for me so..” Without letting Bucky say anything, he took his hand and led him outside. Bucky felt kind of dumb, for not thinking that of course, Stark would pay, since he was rich he was probably used to paying for everything, but still. It was nice.   
  
\- “Thanks.” He said, once outside. Stark simply shrugged, and once they got back to school, kissed his cheek and went on his merry way.   
  
It was still very weird. But it could maybe work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take care !


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Tony chapter today !! I hope you like it :)

As soon as Barnes was out of view, Tony grabbed his phone and started something he rarely did. Stalking. He hadn’t done it the day before, sleeping most of the day and then trying to avoid social medias. Sunset had a very nice way of ruining everything, and he was kind of afraid of what he would find on instagram or twitter so fresh after the “break up”. But when he had briefly checked it this morning, nothing was visible. Well, she had taken all of their photos together, of course she would, but apart from that, everything was in the clear. You wouldn’t even guess they were broken up, if you hadn’t listened to the nasty conversation at the party. God. The bits Tony remembered were outright vicious, and the idea other people heard kind of made him really uneasy. But at the same time, if it wasn’t all over social media, it was probably safe to say no one heard a word.   
  
So, when the thought traversed his mind, Tony set out to do what he should have done yesterday. Stalk his new boyfriend. “Fake boyfriend, don’t forget it”, as Barnes has said it. Right. He firstly searched twitter, but came out empty ended. Second was Instagram, and it was way more prolific even if it wasn’t anything like a gold mine. Some aesthetic shots, a few groups selfies and that was it. He was nonetheless attracted to one picture, a very nice shot of Barnes, in what seemed to be a beautiful day giving all the light and the t-shirt he was wearing, smiling with all his teeth, looking at the photographer with fond eyes. He screenshotted it without thinking after having looked at it for a few seconds. No one had to know, and it wouldn’t hurt anyone for him to have this, right ?   
Looking at the description, his own smile dipped a bit. Of course Rogers was the cause of that smile, if anything Tony had learned was right.   
  
To be completely honest, when Barnes had rejected him saying it no longer felt anything he wrote, it kind of hurt. Even more when he learned he was just a scapegoat for Rogers to not understand Barnes was in love with him.   
Because come on, who would go that far just for his friend to not get the wrong idea mh ? And okay, Tony hadn’t really slept in that room that morning, between the kiss and their conversation. He just really re-read the letter and thought it was kind of nice. That what seemed like a nice, kind boy (who didn’t hurt the eyes, that’s for sure), had a thing for him. Boosted his ego. Even if he didn’t knew shit about Barnes. Still nice. And that was probably a good occasion for a rebound. So yeah, maybe he thought it was the best thing at the best timing.   
  
But then he understood that no, it wasn’t, since he had been played. Even though Barnes didn’t do it intentionally.   
Oh well. Tony was still a Stark. Stark made do, and got the better out of situations. And he intended to do well with this one. Even if Barnes didn’t really like him, who cared ? He was just a guy. And if he pretended to date just a guy ( a poor guy also ), it would just drive Sunset nuts. He could decide later if he wanted her back or if he wanted to give her shit. Not everything had to be planned out right ?   
So that crazy plan was born in his mind, and to say he wasn’t surprised when Barnes actually went for it was a damn lie. But he just went on with it. And he decided that he was going to be the best fake boyfriend ever.   
  
He was still looking at that picture of Barnes when a surprised voice was heard just behind his shoulder.   
  
\- “Is that Bucky on your phone ?” Tony frowned   
  
\- “Bucky ?” He turned around to look properly at Bruce, lost a second. Be he promptly remembered that Bucky was the dumb nickname James Barnes had been given, so he recovered. “Oh yeah. My boyfriend.” He smirked. That didn’t quite work like expected, since Bruce rolled his eyes.   
  
\- “Seriously Tony ?”   
  
\- “Whaat ? I’m serious ! Well. We like, kind of started something. Still all new new, hush hush, so I don’t know if it’s really the good term but.. Still.” He smiled and locked his phone, putting it away. Bruce looked flabbergasted.   
  
\- “You’re kidding me ?” Well. When you say it like that, it kind of hurt. What was the problem ? Why would it be so unbelievable that Barnes would be with him ?   
  
\- “I didn’t even know you knew his name.” Bruce frowned.   
  
\- “Well. I do. But I prefer James.” Tony shrugged and entered class. It wasn’t actually one of his favorites, but he still wanted to stop that awkward lunch and the mores and more rules Bucky could come up with. He was still not over the “no kissing” one.   
  
\- “Right..”   
  
Bruce didn’t look convinced. But still, bless his heart, he didn’t go on. He was nice like that. He sensed Tony didn’t want to talk about it, so he didn’t keep on talking about it. Brucie-bear was the best at this school. He was no Pepper or Rhodey, but he was still the best.   
Tony decided to hide his phone and keep on stalking. Discreetly of course. He added Barnes on facebook, first thing of all, then kept on watching everything he could. Even if it included the boring-ass account of Steve Rogers. Uh.   
After a good whole twenty minutes, he finally decided to send a new text to Bucky.   
  
_To BAEutiful - 14:57 : New rules : I don’t call you Bucky. I simply refuse._   
  
His phone vibrated a minute later.   
_  
_ _BAEtiful - 14:58 : Shut up we’re in class. Also why ?_ _  
_ _  
_ _To BAEtiful - 14:59 : Because it’s a stupid nickname. And you shut up._   
  
To his disappointment, Barnes did shut up. Oh well. He faked listening for the rest of the class, and almost exploded stuff in Physics right after. After a last bye to Bruce, he walked rapidly to his car and thought he was on his merry way when he recognized the black man-bun at the bus stop. He promptly rolled his window down and stopped beside it, taking pleasure in the brute surprise in Bucky’s face.   
  
\- “Hey there, gorgeous.” He smirked, winking at the girl behind him. “Fancy a ride home ?” He wiggled his eyebrows.   
  
\- “Erh…” God, why was Barnes this awkward around him when there was people mh ? “No, thanks.. I.. I’m getting home with Steve.” He gestured toward the big blonde beside him, who had completely escaped Tony, even though he was like, massive. Uh. He barely missed a beat tho, after having nodded at Rogers.   
  
\- “Well, both of you, hop in.” He smiled, waiting patiently (he was regretting his decision already) for them to make a decision. He watched them exchange a look, and weirdly enough, both of them trying to get in by the backdoor, even Barnes. Who was promptly pushed away by Rogers, who muttered something, probably to clue in Barnes, who finally got on the passenger side. “Great !” He said immediately, taking off as soon as the door was closed.   
  
He asked for addressed, was kind of confused when he only got one, but started following his GPS anyways. And since the silence who took place was kind of thick, he turned the volume of the radio and started tapping in rhythm. Great. That was going nowhere. And he could see the weird looks Rogers was giving him in the rearview mirror. Awesome.   
  
\- “So. How was your day, Sugarplum ?” He finally broke, unable to stand any longer the tension. Plus, if he wanted Rogers to believe them, he had to act, right ? And to be honest, the big eyes made by Rogers when he heard the word sugarplum were delightful.   
  
\- “Mh, fine. Thanks. And you ?... Darling.” He threw a look at Barnes, unable to say anything else, but had never wanted to be more apt at telepathy than today. Could he be any less convincing ?   
  
\- “Great, thanks. Best part was lunch, right ?” He winked at Bucky while at a red light, and could almost swear he saw him getting a bit red before having to look at the road again.   
  
\- “Yeah.” Not a whole lot to work with, then. Good.   
  
\- “And you, Rogers ?” He threw another look at the guy in his mirror. Blerh. Having his fake boyfriend's boyfriend in his car wasn't that great.  
  
\- “Ah. Fine, thanks. But you can call me Steve.”   
  
\- “Deal. If you call me Tony.” He smiled. “Can I call you Stevie though ?” He tried his luck, giving his best eating-shit-grin.   
  
\- “Absolute no.” He said, even if he was smiling, he seemed definitive.   
  
\- “Yeah, no one can call him Stevie beside me and his Mum.”   
  
\- “Aaah. Right.” He hesitated for a second. “What if I take you to school in the morning when I can ?” The immediate reaction was for Bucky to protest, of course. Steve had his mouth open, but he closed it quickly and looked at the floor. In between everything, Tony caught the words “inconvenience”, “too far”, “not necessary” and “no”. He frowned. “But why would I let my boyfriend - and his best friend - take the bus in the morning when I can simply drive them ?”   
  
\- “St.. Tony you live a bit far from us I..”   
  
\- “Yeah, but I mean, I’m just proposing. It doesn’t have to be each morning, but it would still be nice. More time together, right ?” He grinned at him. “Let me at least take you back when I can. Let’s compromise, Sugarplum.” Barnes looked ready to just get out of the car. His cheeks were a bit redder than they were at the last stop, and if mad wasn’t the word, he seemed kind of upset.   
  
\- “Fine. We’ll.. Talk about it.” He nodded, before looking out the window. Tony still counted it as a victory. Especially when Steve's voice was heard again in the car.   
  
\- “If you drive us, I think you can call me Stevie sometimes.” Tony couldn’t help but chuckle.   
  
\- “See ? Progress !”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take care !


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A slightly shorter chapter than the ones before, but I wanted to cut it at that so, here you go. We're back with Bucky today.
> 
> Hope you like it !

A few minutes passed in silence after that exchange, and they arrived at Bucky’s and Steve’s block. Tony stopped his car, and even turned down the radio. Steve immediately got out, after a “Thanks Tony, bye Tony”, and Bucky went on to do the same but Stark grabbed his wrist to stop him for a moment.    
  
\- “I know you said no kiss, but a fake one quickly ? C’mon, your buddy’s never going to buy it if we don’t kiss even when we’re alone.” He murmured, all while keeping a smile on. Bucky hesitated one second, before kissing the corner of Tony’s lips softly. It made his heart flutter a bit.   
  
\- “See ? Wasn’t that hard.” Tony winked. “Talk to you later, Sugarplum.”    
  
\- “Yeah.” Bucky smiled and got out of the car, watching it go under the watchful eye of Steve. He finally broke.   
  
\- “What ?”    
  
\- “Tony clearly wanted you to spend some time with him. You didn’t even invite him to come home with you ?”   
  
\- “What ? Since when he’s “Tony” for you ?” If even Steve seemed to like the guy after 2 minutes, Bucky was getting sure he was really in the Twilight Zone.    
  
\- “Well, since he asked and since he’s your boyfriend and I’m trying to be nice with him ?” Steve frowned, while they started walking toward their apartment. “And answer me ! Why didn’t you invite him in ?”    
  
\- “He’s busy tonight. Told me himself at lunch.” Bucky was surprised to see how easily he was able to lie to Steve’s face like that. Wow.    
  
\- “Ah. Of course.” They kept walking in silence for a bit, arriving in front of the door of the building. “So it was really nice to take some time to take you home, then.”    
  
\- “Yeah.” Bucky frowned, and looked at Steve. “Where are you going with this ?”    
  
\- “I don’t know. I just.. Didn’t think he was the kind of guy to do things like that. With a new relationships and all that.” He shrugged and once they arrived at his floor, said bye to Bucky.    
  
While climbing the stairs getting him up to the last floor, Bucky couldn’t help but think about that. It had been really nice of Stark to get them home. Especially since it wasn’t a real relationship. And sure, he had passed them at the bus stop, but he could have done just that, pass and go. But he stopped, and agreed to even take Steve home, before even knowing they shared the same address. He could have just pretended not seeing them if anyone asked. 

And okay, to say that he was actually really surprised by the kind gesture was harsh, but it was true. It didn’t even occur to him that maybe, Tony was actually a kind, nice guy. He had always been more drawn to his physic, never really thinking anything else of him than what he had been told ; that Tony Stark was a selfish asshole, party player, kind of a slut who thought too highly of himself. And okay, maybe Bucky had started believing all of that.   
  
_ You’re forgetting how you two met. _ A small voice whispered in the back of his mind. Yes, he had met Tony in the library. Where Tony had helped him with his homework, without Bucky even asking. He had just done that, without asking for anything else in exchange, and without even knowing Bucky. That had been really nice. That was that gesture that had drawn Bucky first. And he was stupid for forgetting it.    
  
He shook his head and decided to stop thinking about Stark. It had been a majority of what went on inside his head, and that was enough for the day. He grabbed his bag and did his homework really quick, before deciding to treat himself to some video games.    
But checking his phone, he saw a notification of a text.    
  
Stark - 18:03 : Hey, you start at 9 tomorrow right ?    
  
How did he knew that…   
  
To Stark - 18:12 : Yeah, I do. Why ?   
  
Stark - 18:13 : Getting you to school ?    
  
So he really wasn’t kidding about that ?   
  
To Stark - 18:14 : I wasn’t kidding, you don’t have to. It’s pretty far from where you are ?    
  
Stark - 18:14 : How do you know where I live ? Stalking me Barnes ?   
  
Stark - 18:15 : JK. And I wasn’t kidding either when I said it was no problem. So ? Up for it ?    
  
Bucky didn’t know what to respond to that. He had started to type something like “no i’m not !!” but when the second text came in, it was useless, so he erased the sentence. And hesitated. Steve was starting at 8, for his art class, so he wouldn’t be here. Was it a good or a bad thing ? And would Stark use this against Bucky after ? Or was it really just a nice gesture ?    
  
Stark - 18:17 : You know what ? Let’s say you are up for it. I noticed a nice starbucks like 1 block before yours, so let’s say you get me coffee and you can jump in my car. Tomorrow, 8:30 ? Great. And don’t say no, too late, I’ll be there, and I’ll wait. So you have to come. K bye !    
  
Stark - 18:18 : Oh and I take my coffee hot and since I can sleep tomorrow, as a latte please. I’ll give you money right after. Thanks Sugarplum.   
  
Bucky was kind of speechless. The man was confident, that was for sure. And Bucky kind of liked that he decided to do that nice thing for him, even if he didn’t agree to it just yet.   
  
To Stark - 18:19 : Fine. Coffee latte, 8:30 sharp. See you tomorrow.    
  
A kissing emoji was sent as a response from Stark, and that was it.    
Bucky started playing video games, but if he was truly honest, he couldn’t help but think abou Stark a good portion of the evening nonetheless. 

  
  
  


Bucky was in the Starbucks when hell rained down earth the next day. He gulped, and hoped to god Stark wasn’t far, and thought that maybe taking the bus would have been a better option. He took the two drinks, came close to the glass door and tried to evaluate where Stark was. He finally spotted him, almost at the front of the store, and couldn’t help but letting a sigh of relief escape him. He braced himself, counted to three, hoped Stark was watching if he was arriving and could open the car’s door for him, opened the door and right toward the car. Stark must have been waiting for him, since the car door opened slightly before Bucky got to it. A second after, he was soaked and soaking the very expensive car seats of Stark.    
Not a great start of the day.   
  
\- “Coffee.” He said, out of breath, handing him his cup. Stark was grimacing. Bucky thought it was probably about his seats getting wet, and if he dared say anything about it, he risked getting coffee thrown at his face.   
  
\- “I’m really sorry about that, if I had known the weather, I would have come right to your door. Lucky it didn’t rain before you were in the shop, right ?” An apologetic smile on his lips, he grabbed his cup. “Thank you, Sugarplum.”    
  
\- “You’re welcome.” Bucky all but grumbled, both kind of irritated at the situation, and awkward. So it wasn’t about the seats getting wet. He was actually regretful that Bucky got rained down for his trouble. He hesitated. “Thank you, for coming to get me. I mean. That’s really nice…”   
  
Tony, who had started driving after drinking half of his cup, smiled softly.    
  
\- “Yeah, I guess I’m a pretty nice guy.”    
  
At that point, Bucky had no idea how Stark, Tony, could be really really nice. Almost too much. But he still decided to lay a soft kiss on his cheek at the red light. Tony raised his eyebrow at him, but just got his cup back and finished it.    
Maybe all of this could be a nice thing after all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take care !


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of an ellipse and here we goooo ! The pining is only starting...

After that, an almost routine started between the two of them. Tony would come and get Bucky often enough, if that didn’t mean for him to get up way too early. He asked once more for Bucky to bring him no one, but two cups of coffee on Thursday, and seeing his dark eyes and not carefully brushed hair, Bucky guessed it was a long night. He hesitated a bit before asking, and Tony just replied that he had got work done the previous night, and only slept a couple of hours. At the horrified face that Bucky made, he immediately added that he felt good enough to drive, or he wouldn’t have. Bucky was actually thinking about the long day ahead of him, and wondered how Tony would survive, but he just nodded, and started wondering what kind of work Tony could do at night like that.   
Tony also decided to bring Tony back from school when he could, and once even waited an hour for Bucky to end his last class. He ended blushing like mad when he saw Tony, and muttered some “You shouldn’t have” while Tony took Steve and him to his car, an arm around Bucky’s shoulders.   
  
It ended up being the best part of Bucky’s day, thinking of those 20 minutes in the car with Tony. And the occasional lunch. But as Bucky soon discovered, there was a good reason for the fact that he didn’t remember seeing Tony a whole lot at school, and even less in the cafeteria. The dude barely ate anything if he wasn’t prompted to, and most of the time he seemed to be dragged there by Bruce Banner, one of his best friends here. In the week and a half since they started, Bucky had seen Tony three times during lunch. First time, he was seated and eating white a grimace the plate in front of him, while Banner looked at him with a glare. Second, he saw Bucky and made a b-line for him, excused himself from Banner and kidnapped him to go eat subway. Last, he texted Bucky saying that if he didn’t save him, Banner would probably “have a fit of rage” and asked for pizza.   
Those two times, he outright refused for Bucky to pay anything, citing that he was the one bringing him out for lunch, therefore he had to offer. It seemed like a weird logic to him, but Tony seemed to have like a superpower and could pay before Bucky could blink.   
  
So yeah. A week and a half later after the start of the deal, a Thursday, while Bucky was munching on his sandwich, he plopped down in front of him. Bucky gave him a smile, before remembering his mouth full and the fact that he must have resembled a chipmunk. He then stopped smiling, but it seemed too late seeing the smile Tony now sported. The amused (and fond) one. He gestured a hi to Steve and Sam, who responded both before trying to act like they weren’t listening in and talking between themselves.   
  
\- “Sugarplum. Are you doing anything this week-end ?”   
  
\- “Mh, no ?” Bucky responded after swallowing quickly.   
  
\- “Good. There’s a party tomorrow night, we are going !” He was having his best grin, with all his teeth out, and seemed really happy at the prospect.   
  
\- “What ? No !” The smile dimmed in an instant. “I.. I mean, I don’t do.. Parties…” He ended, lamely. Tony frowned.   
  
\- “Except you do now, with me.” He said, trying to light that smile again, but it kind of seemed forced.   
  
\- “I… But I was thinking of just.. Relaxing home, I have a big game soon and..”   
  
\- “Okay well, we don’t have to spend the night there, right ? I can even get you home early, if you really don’t like it. C’mon !” He placed a hand on Bucky’s, and he could only feel his heartbeat pick up. He could also very much feel his friend’s eyes on them, wondering if Bucky was going to accept or not. He very much wanted to say no. He looked at Tony, about to try and find an excuse, but he must have felt it, since he mouthed the word “deal”. Bucky had forgot about that. Tony had to come to his games, and Bucky to some of his parties… Fuck.   
  
\- “Okay. Fine. Let’s go.” He said with a small smile, but quickly withdrew his hand from under his. Tony seemed disappointed at that, but made no comment about it.   
  
\- “Great ! I’ll text you the details, alright ? Gotta go. Oh and I can’t bring you home today, I’m finishing late with Brucie-bear, so I’ll see you tomorrow right ?”   
  
\- “Yeah, sure.”   
  
\- “Great. Have a good day, Sugarplum.” He kissed his cheek and went on his merry way.   
  
Immediately, Steve was on him.   
  
\- “You know Bucks, you don’t have to accept, if you really don’t want to. Tony could try and understand you’re not the party type.” He frowned. Maybe the fact that he had insisted in front of Steve had displeased him.   
  
\- “I know, but I promised him I would try. After all, the last party I went to was junior high so…”   
  
\- “Right. Well. You’ll tell me when it is, okay ? And if he doesn’t want to bring you home or something like that, you call me.”   
  
\- “Sure, Stevie. Don’t worry.” He smiled, and that was the end of it.   
  
When he went home, Bucky asked his mom permission, and she accepted. She even went as far as to ask to meet Tony. For her, he was just a new friend, but still. It would be awkward to introduce him to his family. What would he say when the deal will be over and he would never mention Tony ever again ?   
Tony texted him the info a bit later, with loads of party hats emoji, kissing emoji and sparkles. He seemed really enthusiastic about it, so Bucky kind of felt like a dick for searching for an excuse almost all afternoon. He replied a thumbs up emoji, and wondered if Tony would be really mad if he came down with a sudden case of the flu the day after.   
  
Tony couldn’t come and get him on Friday morning since he actually started earlier than Bucky. As soon as Steve saw him at the bus stop, he asked Bucky for the party’s info. He seemed to be really upset about something, and ten minutes in, he couldn’t help it anymore.   
  
\- “Why are you making such a face, Rogers ? It’s just a party !”   
  
\- “I.. I know. But Bucky.. Be careful alright ?”   
  
\- “What do you mean by that, punk ?” He replied while frowning.   
  
\- “I.. Well Tony.. Is known for his drinking habit. So.. Mh. Promise me that if he is drunk, you won’t go in a car with him.” He looked all serious and worried. Fuck.   
  
Bucky hadn’t actually thought about that. Yes, Tony was kind of known to be the party type, about everything. Girls mostly, but also drinking and even drugs. He suddenly felt a bit worried himself. Would Tony pressure him into drinking or doing drugs ? Would he drink heavily and leave Bucky all alone ? Or on the contrary, drink and be annoying and weird with him ? Would he want to drink and drive ? Fuck. He nodded at Steve.   
  
\- “I.. Sure, Stevie. I promise. And I promise I’ll call you if I feel uncomfortable or anything.”   
  
\- “Good. Okay.” He actually seemed reassured by Bucky’s response, and went on his phone to check some texts.   
  
After two seconds of hesitation, Bucky got his own phone and sent a text to Tony.   
  
_To Stark - 8:41 : Do you intend on drinking, tonight ?_   
  
The response was immediate.   
  
_Stark - 8:41 : Nah, couple beer max, why ?_   
  
Bucky read the response once, twice, and thought that maybe, he could be lying or didn’t intend on drinking but would anyway. But the picture of Tony, with his soft smile when Bucky brought him coffee without him asking first a morning, all tired but still getting up earlier than he had to to come and get him arose in his mind. He then felt bad for doubting him.   
  
_To Stark - 8:42 : Nothing. Was just thinking about how we were getting home._   
  
_Stark - 8:43 : Jarvis will come and get us, if that was any worries. And I don’t drink and drive. Also don’t need to drink when I have a pretty date. * kiss emoji *_  
  
Bucky couldn’t help but blush at that. Steve punched him lightly.   
  
\- “It’s too early in the morning to flirt, god damn.” Bucky only chuckled before putting his phone away.   
  
  
The anxiety kind of builded up all day in his stomach. He didn’t even know whose party it was, so of course, not a great start. Tony asked him if he wanted him (Jarvis) to come and get him, and since it was almost at the other end of the city, he accepted.   
He decided to try and dress up a bit, putting on a nice black shirt and a nice jean. He would bring his usual leather jacket, but that was at least that. He hesitated on what to do with his hair too long though, and had only time to grab an elastic when he received the text from Tony saying they were waiting for him. He rushed out of the room, endured last warning from his Mom, and got down. He spotted the car from the first day quickly, and got in.   
  
\- “Thanks again, Mr Jarvis.” He said, when he got into the car, before looking at Tony. And he couldn’t help but gape a little upon seeing him.   
  
He knew Tony was technically a few months younger than him. He usually only looked 17, like Bucky. But not only did he look a bit older, he looked outright hot. He had a red hot shirt, and a black suit jacket, with a black jean. He also had tinted red glasses, and was looking like a dream on earth at the moment. Or that was just Bucky’s opinion.   
  
\- “Yeah ?” He said, a brow raised.   
  
\- “You.. You look good.” He gulped.   
  
\- “Thanks. You too, Sugarplum.” He winked, barely visible behind the fumed glass, and went back on his phone.   
  
  
Bucky had already fallen, hadn’t he ? Fuck.   
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take care !


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello hello ! 
> 
> Sorry for the 2 days without updates, but I have returned ! 
> 
> And since I'm french and a new lockdown is in place for the forseeable future, I guess I'll have more time to write ? So maybe there will be more updates of this fic, as well as some ficlets here and there ? We'll see ! 
> 
> Tony's POV for today yayyy

When fucking Justin Hammer invited him to his party, smirking like an asshole while looking over his shoulder at Sunset and Ty, it had sting. Like, it was Hammer, trying to make fun of him ? Hell no. That was just pissing him off way more than it had any rights to.    
If that little moment hadn’t happened, maybe Tony wouldn’t have gone. Or he maybe wouldn’t have insisted on James coming. Because yeah, he had to be honest with himself, it was kind of a dick move to insist like that, even though Bucky had promised, still wasn’t great. And invoking the deal, silently but still, in front of Bucky’s friend was even more of a dick move. But since Hammer and probably Sunset wanted to make him feel like shit ? He would show them. He would come to that stupid party with the best of dates and enjoy his night.    
  
He had to admit, after only a week and a half of fake relationship that he was really getting used to it. It was kind of nice. James was really nice, that was for sure. Bringing him coffee even though he hadn’t asked the last time. And the lunches were really nice. And seeing him blush like a cute tomato when Tony flirted, even more when company was present.    
So maybe Tony didn’t know why he started it at first, but now he definitely wanted to piss off Sunset, not get her back. Because he had to admit, she was kind of a bitch. Especially to him. The more he thought about him, the less great he felt about the whole ordeal.    
  
He was working on a project for school in the lab with Bruce on Friday morning when he received the first text from James. It was so rare for James to text him first that Tony’s brain immediately went to the worst. “He’s not gonna come, why waste his night with you, fake and useless boyfriend ?” Sure. Maybe he preferred spending his Friday nights with Steve. Uh. God dammit Steve. He had the fucking music in mind everytime he got them both home. Finally him and James and his friend Steve. Dodododo Steve. But it was somewhat worse than that.    
  
_ BAEtiful - 8:41 : Do you intend on drinking, tonight ?  _ _  
_ _  
_ Of course. Because Tony was known for his drinking habit. Not 18 and already the legacy of an alcoholic. He couldn’t help but be really bitter seeing this. And a little bit angry. At himself, for allowing his drinking “problem” (it wasn’t really a problem… Was it ?) known, at Bucky for assuming he would get shit faced tonight, and a bit at everything. He responded directly.   
  
_ To BAEtiful - 8:41 : Nah, couple beer max, why ?  _ _  
_ _  
_ He was kind of a dick for asking the why. He knew why Bucky had asked. Well, half of it. Maybe he didn’t mind if Tony was going to drink, maybe he was just worried about the getting home part ? Who was he kidding, of course he would mind getting to a party with a drunk idiot. He had responded without thinking, but the more he thought about it, he decided that yeah, he was just going to drink a couple of beers. It would be more than enough, right ? At least he didn’t need to drink to forget how much Sunset was a bitch this time.    
  
BAEtiful -  _ To Stark - 8:42 : Nothing. Was just thinking about how we were getting home. _ _  
_ _  
_ Tony kind of wished it was the only reason, but still.    
  
_ To BAEtiful - 8:43 : Jarvis will come and get us, if that was any worries. And I don’t drink and drive. Also don’t need to drink when I have a pretty date. * kiss emoji *  _ _  
_ _  
_ He put his phone down and sighted. He didn’t even asked Jarvis, but he knew the man would accept with pleasure. He would probably even ask himself when he would find out Tony was out tonight. He was nice like that.    
  
Fixing his project with mournful eyes, he couldn’t help his brain to mull it over. Maybe that was even why James didn’t want to come in the first place. It wasn’t even that he wasn’t a party guy, he was just afraid of Tony being too much of one. Maybe he even had discussed it with Steve, thinking that he was just going to watch him tap a keg or two before passing out in the street.    
And the more he thought about it, the more he thought that Bucky wasn’t that far off. Tony was a trashy guy. Well, he had the reputation of one anyway, so it must have come from somewhere. But how was he supposed to stay sober when Ty and Sunset would just hand him more and more drinks throughout the night ? When they would dare him to do a full platter of shots quickly ? Stark men were made of iron, Bain and Stone were powerful allies to be made, that was why his Father had always insisted for him to be friends with their heir. He was almost smiling when Tony had come home stating he was dating Sunset.    
  
He could almost picture the disgust in Howard’s face when he would talk about Bucky. The guy wasn’t rich, wasn’t that classy, and was a guy. He didn’t know if Howard would be more opposed to James bank account or his genitals. Weird thought.    
Weirder was that he was seriously picturing talking about James to his father. Like he would introduce his fake-boyfriend to his father. Like Bucky would want to know his family…    
The guy deserved better. Even if Tony was starting to really like Bucky, he had to admit it would never happen for real. For starters, James would never like him for real. After all, his “love letter” was more of a hate letter, addressed to an asshole but with pretty eyes. Even if he had acknowledged his nice gesture of helping him at the time, he probably had chucked it to the exception in Tony’s character. And now it was almost worse, he was worse, so yeah.    
And second, everything was kind of working against them. Their differences and all of that.    
  
\- “You okay there Tony ?” Bruce’s voice took him out of his mind.    
  
\- “Peachy.” He smiled.   
  
He had made a decision. Even if it wasn’t made consciously, he had started flirting and maybe trying to seduce James Barnes.    
It had to stop. The guy deserved better than the son of the Merchant of Death. He would just be a fake boyfriend in public, but that was all.   
  
  
His will crumbled when he saw Bucky getting into the car. The guy cleaned up well. Even if it didn’t require a lot of cleaning at all in any case. Tony swallowed and immediately went to his phone. He had to talk to one James Rhodes quickly to help him decide what to do. He barely listened to Bucky thanking Jarvis, pretending to be deep into his phone - and waiting for a response from his best-friend - but could feel Bucky’s eyes on him. After a while, he had to say something.   
  
\- “Yeah ?” He raised a brow and finally looked at him. Damn the guy looked good. Like, really good.   
  
\- “You.. You look good.” Ah. Well. Great minds think alike ? He was proud of his poker face.   
  
\- “Thanks. You too, Sugarplum.” He winked, forgetting for an instant about his fumed glasses - and his decision to not flirt anymore -, and had just the time to enjoy Bucky’s cheeks getting red before looking at his screen.    
  
_ Platypus - 18:47 : Free tomorrow ? _   
  
Perfect. He had just to last this night without doing anything inappropriate. The ride didn’t last long, and when Jarvis stopped in front of mansion (fucking Hammer), Tony thanked him, got out of the car and Bucky followed him. So. Here they were. He hesitated, but turned around and looked at Bucky, and couldn’t help but feel something. God damnit Tony.    
  
\- “Thank you, for coming. Really. I.. Probably shouldn’t have insisted but.. I’m glad you said yes in the end.” That put a small smile on James, barely a tug on the lips    
  
\- “Wait for the end of the party to thank me. Who knows ? I might ruin your night.” He smiled more, and Tony couldn’t help but chuckle.    
  
\- “Right. I don’t believe in that.” He gestured toward the big house. “Shall we ?” He extended his hand to Bucky. They had to play the part after all.    
  
\- “You could be surprised, Stark.” He smiled even more, and took his hand gently. Bucky’s cold fingers were a contrast with Tony warmed hands, and he squeezed his hand gently.    
  
\- “Can’t wait to see that, Barnes.” He smiled, and finally walked toward the entrance.    
  
Of course, the first few minutes were just talks, to the people accumulated in their way, mostly people from their school but also just rich kids from Hammer’s circle. Jerks then, mostly, so Tony tried to deal with them quickly. He introduced Bucky of course, but the drink pretext helped him to get away soon enough. He squeezed his hands once they were in the main room, but Bucky didn’t look that phased by the whole thing.    
  
\- “Sorry. I didn’t want to waste my time on those guys.” He hesitated, but after all they were in public, so he kissed his cheek. The blush that resulted amused him greatly. (So good for your resolution, Tony.)    
  
\- “It’s okay.”   
  
\- “Okay, good. Well mh, what do you drink then, sugarplum ?”    
  
\- “Oh well, I don’t know… Same as you ?” He raised a brow, looking at the kitchen.    
  
\- “Okay. Well. I’ll be right back ?”    
  
Bucky nodded and got to the couch to sit. Tony quickly went to the kitchen and hesitated with mixing a drink or just a beer, but thinking back to those texts, he decided to take the beer route. He saluted the two guys standing beside the fridge, took two bottles and went back to Bucky, giving him his bottle.    
  
\- “Thanks.”    
  
\- “You’re welcome.” He smiled, and drank a bit to ease himself. He didn’t know why, he rarely felt anxious, but he kind of did suddenly. That was not good.    
  
\- “So.. Mh, whose party is this ?”    
  
\- “Oh ! Oh Hammer. Justin Hammer. You know, dumb guy, glasses, short, kind of the a j-”   
  
\- “Coming right our way.” Bucky cut him short, maybe sensing that all of these words weren’t going to be that nice. Tony was grateful for that, since a second later Hammer put himself beside Tony on the tiny couch. Grimacing, Tony scooted over to Bucky, not wanting for Hammer to be that close.    
  
\- “Tony, my man ! How are you ?”    
  
\- “Good, Justin, great even. Nice party you got there.”    
  
\- “Ah, you know me Tony…” God, how hard did he have to make it to not roll his eyes ? Justin then eyed Bucky, waiting for Tony to say anything.   
  
\- “You know James Barnes, yeah ? My boyfriend.”    
  
\- “Ah yes, of course, Barnes.” Hammer shook his hand, trying his best to do a shark smile but he just ended up looking stupid, as always. “Getting over Sunset quickly, eh Tony ?”    
  
\- “Well, I would say she got over me faster than I did.” He shrugged, and put his arm around James’s shoulder, while he just smiled and nodded at Hammer’s greeting.   
  
\- “Right, right.” He huffed. “Well, have fun, you two lovebirds. Don’t go do anything nasty though, I know you Tony, please don’t.” He chuckled and got up. The fucking jerk. He tightened his jaw.   
  
\- “Sure. See you, Justin.” He forced himself to smile and watched him go away. “Fucking dick.” He murmured.   
  
\- “Not the best guy around, then ?” Bucky inquired, drinking a bit more of his beer and raising his brows.   
  
\- “No, not the best indeed.” He shook his head.    
  
\- “So.. What do you usually do, at parties like that ?”    
  
\- “Parties like this one ?” Tony frowned, thinking for a bit. The truth was not that pretty. “I don’t think you want to know, Sugarplum.” He admitted with a small voice. “Let’s say mingle.” It was Bucky’s turn to frown.   
  
\- “Why wouldn’t I ? I’m asking, aren’t I ?” He pushed lightly Tony. “C’mon.”   
  
\- “No but really…” He sighted after Bucky pushed him again. “Fine. Usually I would arrive super late, with Sunset, and we would drink way too much and too quickly. We would sometime.. Make out in a very public place, and leave to have the worst hangover.” He looked at his beer bottle, he hesitated for a bit. “Most times than not, we would also have a violent dispute and trash each other. Verbally. Never hit her.” He didn’t add that she didn’t restrain. More than once he had to hid traces of her nails accross his face.   
  
\- “Well.” Bucky hesitated. “Sounds like a not great relationship.” Tony couldn’t help but snort at that. A true understatment. “No but really. You said.. When we, you know, made the deal,” he added with a murmur, “That you didn’t know if you wanted to make her angry or get her back. Well. I hope you decided to only make her angry.”    
  
Tony looked at him. James Barnes. With the most beautiful eyes Tony had ever seen. Cheekbones who could cut glass. Kind and nice James Barnes.    
He smiled.   
  
\- “Yeah. Won’t get her back. That’s for sure…”    
  
He was fucked. Because damn, Tony liked the guy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take care !


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey ! Chapter ten today, wouhou ! 
> 
> And so the real pining starts ! Watch them being idiots together, it's gonna be cute.

Bucky decided on the spot that Hammer was one of the worst dicks he had ever met. He had never really talked to him at school, and was now glad he had such an opportunity. He could almost feel his brain shut down when he went near, in an attempt to save itself from this conversation. Alas, Bucky had to hear the guy be a big ol’ jerk, and kind of mean to Tony. He couldn’t help but feel sorry. After all, maybe Bucky was part of the problem, since he would have believed the kind of shit Hammer spewed before. But now, Bucky started to doubt everything he had ever heard about Tony. And seeing his reaction, how he went from playful and relaxed to tensed and upset, Bucky couldn’t help but wonder how much of that shit was real. Why would Tony act like that if it was ? He didn’t seem like he would be ashamed of himself.   
  
After a minute of hesitation, Bucky had asked. And maybe pushed around a bit for Tony to tell. And when he did, it didn’t go as he had expected. He was surprised that Tony admitted like that to drinking and especially about the reveal concerning Sunset Bain. Of course, the whole school knew they were more the “on and off” couple than the school sweethearts who would end up together. But when Tony said that he and her had violents fights, he winced internally. He never imagined anything going that far. And when he quickly added that he never hit her, he couldn’t help but think that maybe some people had accused him of that. Or maybe that Sunset did hit him. None of this was any good. Bucky couldn’t imagine what Tony wanted to do with that girl.    
  
\- “Well..” He hesitated, but his mouth finished his sentence before his brain could catch up. “Sounds like a not great relationship.” He looked at him after hearing him snort. “No but really. You said.. When we, you know, made the deal,” God he was really talking about that in public ? He hoped no one heard, “That you didn’t know if you wanted to make her angry or get her back. Well. I hope you decided to only make her angry.”   
  
He looked down his beer again. Had he just admitted being against his fake-boyfriend getting back with his ex ? He did. Way to go, Bucky. He could feel Tony’s eyes on him for a moment, a long moment of silence. Maybe he was about to curse him, what rights did he have to critique someone else's relationship like that eh ?    
  
\- “Yeah. Won’t get her back. That’s for sure…”    
  
When Bucky looked up again, Tony was smiling. A beautiful, soft smile, that illuminated his eyes even more, and brought out his small dimple on the right cheek. Bucky swallowed.   
  
\- “Good.” He nodded. Before he could say anything else any more awkward, he looked down again. “So mh. What are we doing at this party then ?”    
  
\- “Well. It’s a Hammer Party, so we’ll try to have as much fun as possible, hoping there’s a few decent people here, right ? Let’s go !” He grabbed his hand and got up, pulling his arm to get Bucky to stand. He finally did, but lost his balance and ended up against Tony. He could feel his cheeks blushing.   
  
\- “Okay.” He said softly, peeling himself from Tony’s chest quickly.    
  
\- “Okay !” He smiled even more, and pulled him toward another room.    
  
Twenty fives minutes later, Bucky was playing pool with Tony and two other guys he didn’t know and didn’t remember ten minutes later. He laughed a lot, discovering what a sore loser could be, and how far he would try to go to cheat and gain a few more points.

He then refused to try darts, having had two beers and a half by this point, skipped the never have I ever and the truth or dare, heard three or four times the same story about Tony exploding the labs at school, all differents account of the same events, and could safely say he was having a good time. He was sitting comfortably in a couch, waiting for Tony to come back from the bathroom when Sunset Bain herself suddenly popped beside him.   
  
\- “James Barnes, right ?” Her smile was trying to be sweet, he thought, but she just looked like a bad actress on a commercial late in the night.    
  
\- “Yeah. Sunset Bain.” He didn’t ask, knowing full well who she was.    
  
\- “You’re the guy who stole my man !” She said, smiling even more and wrinkled her nose quickly. Her voice was too pitchy for him.   
  
\- “Wouldn’t say I stole him, you were already broken up.” Raising his brows, he shook gently his glass and looked at the sploshy liquid.    
  
\- “Right. Sorry, took out my trash then ?” She laughed. He frowned.   
  
\- “I’m sorry, is Tony your ex or an object ?” He looked at her. “Anyway what’s the point of you coming to talk to me ?”    
  
\- “Well. Just a fair warning, darling…” He hated her voice. He hated how she pronounced the word darling. He hated her. “You’ll never be up to the act. Tony’s very high maintenance… And even if he wasn’t, well, you’re not up to par, right ?” She pinched her lips. “Better give him back quickly. It could get nasty if not.”    
  
Bucky could only slowly blink at the several implications she made. Was she trying to threaten him ? To get back Tony ? Was she saying he was not good enough for him ? That he wasn’t good enough to come after her ?    
  
\- “What the fuck ?” He blurted out loud, without wanting to. “Listen up, Bain.” He felt sobored up all of the sudden. “First of all, I won’t give him back because he’s a : not a toy, b : capable of making his own decisions. Second, if you’re trying to scare me, you’re not, you’re angering me. Don’t. Now go away. Last I knew, Stones was your boyfriend, so he might want his bitch back.” He glared at her. Great move there, Bucky.   
  
\- “Who are you calling a bitch, fucking-”... She got up suddenly, probably ready to cause a scene when a voice interrupted them.    
  
\- “Sugarplum I thought I lost you.” He felt Tony’s hand on his shoulder and raised his head to see him looking at Sunset like he could puncture holes in her figure. If looks could kill, she would be on the floor. “Sunset. Didn’t know you were here.” His smile was cold and he squeezed lightly Bucky’s shoulder.    
  
\- “You should tell your boyfriend to keep his fucking mouth shut, Tony.”    
  
\- “Why ? So you could open yours more ? No, thank you.” He continued before she had time to reply. “Seeing we talked to the only relevant people here, what about getting the fuck out ? I’m hungry. Let’s go grab a burger, darling.”    
  
The word darling in his mouth was much, much better than in Sunset’s. He could almost say it would provoke a swarm of butterflies in his stomach, if he wasn’t still that angry.    
  
\- “Sure thing, babe.” The nickname rolled out naturally off his tongue. He got up. “Let’s go.”    
  
They both threw a last look at Sunset, fuming and watching them with rage, and left the Hammer’s manor, hand in hand. Tony said something about a burger joint not too far from here, and how the fresh air could do them both goods, and after Bucky agreed, they went on walking in silence for a bit. After a while, Tony broke that silence.   
  
\- “M’sorry about Sunset. About whatever she told you. Mustn’t have been great, seeing how tense you are.” He suddenly realised they were still holding hands. But he didn’t let go.    
  
\- “Don’t apologize for her. You’re not her proxy of anything. She’s a bitch, and she had nothing to do with you, so.. Yeah. Don’t.” He shrugged. “And she just.. Well. She kind of threatened me to give you up. To her. Specifically. And said it would never work.” He swallowed. Was she all that wrong ? If it had been real, how would the whole thing go ?    
  
\- “What the fuck..” At least Tony had the same reaction as him. Great minds think alikes and all of that. “What a bitch !” There again. “Hope you didn’t listen to her.” Bucky didn’t have time to say that no, he didn’t, that Tony added. “Well, not that you could really, since it’s fake and all that but.. Mh. Still. Sorry.”    
  
The silence that followed was a tad bit heavy. Of course Bucky didn’t need the reminder that things between them were fake, but still, it sting a bit. Did it mean that if it was real, it wouldn’t work for real ? Against his better judgment, he finally replied.    
  
\- “Well. Fake or not, it’s working great so far.” He shrugged, and squeezed Tony’s hand in his. He was surprised when Tony did the same.   
  
\- “Yeah, it does.”    
  
After a fair bit of walking, they arrived at the dinner promised by Tony. Apparently they weren’t far off from his neighborhood, so Tony knew the place fairly well. They ordered, ate, talked quite a bit and laughed more. It was like the two lunches they had, and Bucky couldn’t help but feel like him and Tony, despite everything, despite the deal, clicked. Maybe he just saw what he wanted, true, but still. He couldn’t help but hope.    
When Tony finally called Jarvis to bring them home, he couldn’t help but feel disappointed it was already over. And when Tony got out of the car with him to bring him to his door like a true gentleman, he had to admit his heart fluttered. Once in front of his door, the silence between them was a nice one. He couldn’t help but look in Tony’s eyes, getting lost in their deep color. God, he loved his eyes.   
  
\- “Well. I’ll see you on monday, Sugarplum.” Tony smiled softly.    
  
\- “Yeah. See you..”    
  
When Tony leaned to him a bit, his heart wasn’t just fluttering anymore, it was beating like crazy. And when Tony only kissed his cheek and winked, turning around, Bucky couldn’t help but feel frustrated. Watching him go, he sighted. Maybe Tony was only being his fake boyfriend, but so far he was an amazing one. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take care !


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally have the complete outline of this work written down ! So I hope it will be smooth sailling until the end now :) 
> 
> Tony's POV for today ! Enjoy

Tony was just thinking and thinking and thinking again about the night before. He couldn’t help it. He was supposed to have done some work in the morning, but here he was, just looking at his plate, playing with his food and thinking.   
First, he still couldn’t believe that Sunset had the balls to threaten his boyfriend ? She was the one who had broken up with him, who had insulted him like never before, and she dared acting like Bucky had stolen him from her ? The fucking big joke. Who did she think she was ? Nothing more than an annoying ex. And if she wanted to play that game, they could be two. Tony would make sure the whole school would know how much happier he was with Bucky than he had been with her.   
But of course, thinking of that made him think about James right after. And he had to be honest, after the incident, it had been a great night. They had talked, and talked, and talked some more. He had learned several more new things about the guy, and that was nice. There was maybe something like a bit of a connection between them. Maybe a small something. Maybe Tony deserved some nice things too, after all.   
  
He thought about Bucky’s small voice when he said he shouldn’t get back with Sunset. He thought about his hand in his. It was working great so far, even if it was a fake relationship. They worked kind of good, kind of nice the two of them. They had nice moments. And as depressing as the thought was, Tony kind of felt better with his fake boyfriend than he had felt with his ex-girlfriend.   
Maybe Tony should wait for the other shoe to drop. It probably won’t stay as nice as it was right now. Maybe Steve Rogers would discover the truth and destroy him. Maybe he would discover his feelings for Bucky and would destroy him. Maybe Bucky would just want to get with Steve and destroy him.   
  
He was dragged out of his mind by Jarvis.   
  
\- “You seemed upset, young Master.” He said, watching him carefully. Jarvis always knew when something was wrong. He just didn’t ask that much anymore, since Tony rarely told what it was.   
  
\- “I’m okay Jarvis. Don’t worry.” He looked at his bacon. “Can’t wait to talk to Rhodey.”   
  
\- “Ah. Teenagers problems, then.” He smiled. “You know you can come to me at any time, Anthony ?”   
  
\- “Yeah. Yeah Jarvis, I know.”   
  
He finished his plate and went directly to his room, not having any brain to do anything productive. After a while of doing nothing and staring at his phone, he couldn’t help but dig out the instagram photo he had of Bucky. Couldn’t help but smile a bit, seeing him looking so happy. The selfish thought crept up his mind immediately. “I wish I could make him smile like that.” Except no. Because he didn’t deserve it.   
  
\- “Well someone’s all mopy. Nasty.”   
  
Tony raised his head so fast he felt pain in his neck, but he immediately threw himself towards Rhodey and encompassed him in a big hug. He had missed his best friend. Since he was older than Tony, he had started MIT in September. But he was trying to get home as much as possible, even if it meant working a job to get enough money for travels. Tony had offered multiple times, but Rhodey always refused. Tony could use his money to come to him, but as Rhodes liked to say “I’m not your boyfriend, you won’t fly me out Tones.”   
  
\- “Yeah I missed you too, Tones.” Rhodey finally said, since Tony wasn’t saying anything and was just hugging him hard. He felt some pats in his back, and got the queue to let go. “So, what’s going on then ?”   
  
\- “Nothing. I mean.. Nothing much. Nothing.. Worrying. Nothing.”   
  
\- “Anthony, what have you done ?” He crossed his arms.   
  
\- “Nothing ! I.. I need advice, platypus. I.. I don’t know what to do.” Rhodey frowned, then stepped into the room for real.   
  
\- “Fine. Spill your beans. I’ll see what I can do for you.”   
  
  
It took some time, but Tony explained everything. He couldn’t lie to Rhodey any longer, and what purpose would that be ? He needed help, and if he didn’t explain, he wouldn’t get any. Plus, Rhodey wasn’t like in school or anything. So no harm in doing so. He hadn’t technically broken their fake-relationship-deal.   
His Platypus listened with great attention. Asked one or two questions, trying to get better contexts for the situation. In the end, he stayed silent for a bit, before sighing loudly.   
  
\- “Only you, Tony. Only you.” He shook his head.   
  
\- “So what now ? What do I do, Rhodey ? I’m lost.”   
  
\- “About what ? Seemed pretty clear for me.” He smirked.   
  
\- “What is clear ? Because to me, nothing is !” The jerk didn’t have any rights to laugh.   
  
\- “Well, first off, you like the guy. That much is obvious. Second, fuck Sunset, what would she do to him ? You can destroy her, so if she tries anything funny, you bust her ass. And lastly.. Well, that seems obvious. Ask the guy out, for real.”   
  
\- “Rhodey, darling, didn’t you heard me when I said he didn’t actually like me ? When I said the guy deserved mor-” Rhodey cut him off all of the sudden, looking all serious.   
  
\- “That’s bullshit, Tony. That’s complete bullshit, and you know why you’re thinking that crap ? Because of that bitch you were dating. She put all these ideas in your head, to keep you all for herself, but it’s utter and complete crap. If you like the guy, go for it. He wrote you a love letter, for god’s sake !”   
  
Tony was silent for a minute. Rhodey and Pepper never really liked Sunset. Maybe Bruce never did also, but they never really talked about her. And they had always said their relationship wasn’t good for him. That Tony should have ended things. But truth was, as much as he was described as a “playboy” - a playboy at 17, sure thing, like it really existed -, he never had been with anyone else. He had been afraid of being alone. Had been scared of being unworthy of anyone else. Maybe Sunset wasn’t the best. But maybe that was all he could get. And she had made sure to remind him of it often enough.   
  
\- “I don’t know, Rhodey-bear.” He hugged his legs, looking at the carpet, feeling empty. “There were more insults than anything else in that letter. Not that I didn’t deserved it.”   
  
\- “Tony... “ Rhodes sighed, once more. “Please, man, listen to me. Stop this self hatred bullshit. You’re a great guy. If you weren’t, I wouldn’t be here. Pepper wouldn’t be friends with you. Neither would be Banner. And that guy wouldn’t have even written a love letter in the first place. He did saw beyond the surface, even if it was only a tiny bit.”   
  
\- “Maybe.”   
  
\- “Surely. Now come on. Stop being all sad. Use that dumb deal of yours to take him out on dates. To get to know him. And if he turns out to not be a jerk, go for it.”   
  
\- “Well. Maybe I will.” He said, after another small silence. He raised his head, and smiled at his friend.   
  
\- “Good ! Now. Let’s order take out, because talking feelings made me hungry. Then I’m beating your ass at Mario Kart, been too long since I’ve done so.”   
  
A few hours later, when Rhodey finally got home, but promised him to get together the next day with Pepper, Tony lied down, looking at his ceiling, mulling over his conversation with him. His Platypus was rarely wrong. But could Bucky really like him, now, or in the future ? And was trying to use their deal to spend time with him considered cheating ?   
He looked at that photo of Bucky again. Thought about his smiles, his beautiful eyes.   
  
_To BAEtiful - 19:56 : Sugarplum, I just realized we don’t have any photos together. Who will believe our story if you’re not my screenlock ? We must do something about that._   
  
_BAEtiful - 20:00 : * photo attachment * Would that do ?_   
  
Opening the photo, Tony blinked. It was a picture of the two of them, after yesterday’s party at dinner. He had forgotten they took it, and hadn’t even thought Bucky would have it. It wasn’t the best quality, since it had been clearly a screen of Tony’s story. He remembered having pretexted he needed proof they had a good time for the people, and Bucky had complied while laughing that Tony was too vain. It was Tony, kissing Bucky’s cheek while smiling, eyes closed, and Bucky had a wide smile.   
Seeing it, he couldn’t help but smile like an idiot.   
  
_To BAEtiful - 20:03 : * photo attachment * Here. Better quality. But yes, it will do. * kissing emojies *_   
  
He set it as his screenlock right after. And he decided he would be the best fake boyfriend in existence, until Bucky judged him good enough to be his real one.   
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take care !


	12. Chapter 12

Bucky had managed to fence off his friends for three weeks. But they all wanted to meet Tony for real. So far, only Steve managed to talk a bit to the guy, when they got home - and it didn’t happen as much, since Steve was trying to let them both be. It was nice of course, but still. So after three weeks, he had no choice.   
  
\- “My friends want to meet you.”    
  
He blurted it out, entering the car in the morning and holding out the morning thermos with coffee. Since Tony had discovered his Ma’ coffee, he had refused Starbucks and only wanted “the precious juice bean” produced by his Ma’ and his Ma’ only. He had even noticed a time when Bucky had forgotten to ask her for a thermos and had made the coffee himself, and even if he had drunk it, he had made Bucky promise. He even proposed to pay her for it, but Bucky had plainly refused.    
Tony took his cup, slowly blinked, and downed half of it before putting it in the cup holder and starting the car.    
  
\- “They already know me, don’t they ?”    
  
\- “They know you exist and have seen you in school. But that’s about it.”    
  
\- “Well. Stevie knows me.” He raised a brow.   
  
\- “Don’t call him Stevie, it’s weird. And barely ! He also wants to like.. Meet you for real.”    
  
\- “He said I could call him Stevie. And what would meet me for real implies mh ?”    
  
\- “A lunch or something ?”    
  
\- “I don’t do lunch, James, dear.” He smirked. Bucky felt his heart lurched, maybe at the James, or maybe at the dear, probably at both. Tony could always make him feel special with the most dumb things.    
  
\- “Yes, you do. We’ve done it.” He frowned.   
  
\- “Ah, yes, so we did, but only because I was forced out of my lab and I didn’t want Bruce breathing down my neck.” He sighed. “Is that really important ?”    
  
\- “Well. I think, that yeah, it is. Since they’re supposed to believe we are together… You should meet my friends. And I should meet yours.. Sometimes.” Tony chuckled.   
  
\- “Pepper’s going to sniff out the lies in seconds. But we can give it a try.” He shrugged. “Fine, fine, we’ll do lunch.” He rolled his eyes. Bucky cheered mentally.   
  
They didn’t talk much for the rest of the ride home, a comfortable silence settled between them. But just before they arrived, Tony received a text, and Bucky saw his lockscreen. He blushed, like each time, not believing he had really put the photo up like that without being prompted to. He had then annoyed Bucky into doing the same, and had almost screamed when he saw he had been registered at “Stark”. He was now “BB <3”, much to Bucky’s embarrassment, but Tony had laughed and stated that “Irony is one of the best cover. You say it’s ironic and no one will ask anything else.”    
They got out of the car, and walked toward the building, and since the party, they were doing that hand in hand each morning. They sadly had to each go to a different part of the building, so they finally let go, after a kiss on cheek, courtesy of Tony. Bucky proceeded to tell their friends he would join them for lunch this day, and they all cheered. Bucky hoped it would go well.    
  
  
It was five minutes before twelve that he realised they hadn’t prepared. That they would be fucked the minutes someone would ask them really personal questions about their relationship. The whole jig would be up really quick, and the shame that would follow would be terrible. He texted Tony right away.    
  
_To BB <3 - 11:57 : We have to report lunch, it’s going to be a disaster, we didn’t prepare !_   
  
The more the seconds trickled without a response, the more he felt nauseous. Why was he so anxious ? God. Everything was about to end in a bad way and they would have done all of that for nothing. Steve didn’t notice anything, and they got out of the class, to find Tony waiting there against the rows of lockers opposite of the door. He immediately went up to him.   
  
\- “Hey there, darling.” He frowned seeing the face Bucky was making. “You alright there ?”    
  
\- “Yeah. Fine. Got up too quickly.” He smiled, damning himself for not having thought of that sooner. Tony got his arm around his shoulder.   
  
\- “Hanw, told you before, you should eat or drink something in the morning Sugarplum. Still don’t understand how you can not down your Mom’s coffee.” He looked at Steve, smiling broadly. “Hey there, Stevie.”    
  
\- “Hey.” Steve smiled. “Let’s go then, Bucks if you’re alright ? The others are waiting.”    
  
\- “Sure.” He nodded, and the three of them took to the cafeteria. He enjoyed the contact with Tony more than he had any rights to. He could only think how it would miss the little things when their whole deal would be over.    
  
\- “Bruce said he liked you, by the way. Having me leaving the lab 10 minutes before the bell, it’s outstanding. He said the two of you should talk about babysitting duties.” He rolled his eyes. Bucky chuckled, half sincere.   
  
\- “Sure, we’ll see that together.”    
  
They arrived at their usual table. Natasha and Clint even came for the occasion. Sam was listening to them, and poked Clint when he saw them arrived. They all sit down, Bucky between Tony and Steve, the other three opposites. A small awkward silence was broken by Tony.   
  
\- “Hi. Hello. Bonjour.” He smiled, looking at each of them for a second.    
  
\- “So mh.” Bucky quickly recovered. It was really weird to see Tony there, in like, their world, but he could do it. “So that’s Sam, Clint, and Natasha.”    
  
\- “I know.” Tony was still smiling. “And I’m sure they know I’m Tony.” He looked for a second his platter, but pushed it to the side. “So. What’s up ? Don’t let me being here interrupt you, I’m sure you were having a wonderful conversation.”    
  
\- “They were discussing hallmarks movies, so nah, don’t really.” Sam replied, smiling, and extended his hand toward Tony, who shook it, smiling even more.   
  
\- “Ah, what kind of discussion mh ?” He replied, shooking Clint’s hand who had imitated Sam.    
  
\- “Fake Christmas movies.” Natasha replied, looking at Tony almost without blinking. She extended his hand too, after a second, and raised a brow when he kissed it instead of shaking it.    
  
\- “They are not fake Christmas movies !” Clint almost shouted, the only one not surprised by Tony’s gesture.    
  
\- “And which movies are the fake ones then ?” He put his head on his hand, and listened to the two of them bickering.    
  
It went on from some times, Clint saying romantic comedies happening at Christmas were indeed Christmas movies. Natasha on the other hand, stated that unless there were some plot lines about the true value of christmas, or magic, or Santa Claus, it wasn’t. Tony sometimes made some addition, without choosing any sides, and after a while, Sam was team Clint, and Steve team Natasha. Bucky wasn’t saying anything, but he had to admit Natasha was right. He suddenly noticed Tony hadn’t touched his food. He tapped lightly on his arm.   
  
\- “You didn’t eat anything.” He frowned, when Tony looked at the plate, then at him.   
  
\- “Not hungry.” He smiled.   
  
\- “Bruce is going to be mad at me.”    
  
\- “Bruce will never know.” He patted his arm.    
  
\- “Well, I’ll be mad at you.”    
  
\- “What ? How does that work ?” It was Tony’s turn to frown.    
  
\- “Well, I’ll be mad if you don’t eat. You should eat.”    
  
Tony seemed surprised by the turn of events. He stuttered a bit, before recovering.    
  
\- “I don’t work well with punishment, you know ? Better with rewards.” He raised his eyebrows, in an air of challenge.    
  
\- “What rewards could you possibly want ? You already have too much of my Ma’s coffee.”    
  
\- “Mmmh… What about something you make uh ?” He thought for a second. “Heard your pies were amazing.”    
  
\- “You do realize how stupid that idea is ? You’re asking me for food, in reward for eating your food ?”    
  
\- “Nuh-uh. I’m asking for dessert.”    
  
\- “Not stupid, a child then.” Bucky couldn’t help but smile like a goof.    
  
\- “Still want some pie.” He looked at Bucky, blinking quickly and pouting.    
  
\- “Fine, I’ll make you a pie if you eat properly at lunch.” He rolled his eyes, but that musn’t have been all of that convincing since he was still smiling. Tony only grinned as a response, and grabbed his plate.   
  
\- “Pleasure doing business with you, sir.”    
  
It was at this point that he realized the hallmark debate had stopped. They were all looking at them, with zero subtlety. Steve was even smiling, his stupid smile of “I know more than you”. Bucky didn’t understand why that was.    
  
\- “What ?” He said, glaring at them.   
  
\- “Nothing.” They all said in unison, and he shook his head.    
  
They reprised their stupid debates, and Bucky looked as Tony re-inserted himself in the conversation like it was a natural thing to call Clint a heathen after he had said Love Actually was one of the best Christmas Movies of all times. It was nice, after all. He fitted. Bucky would have never thought Tony would fit. But he did.    
  
They all exited the cafeteria ten minutes before the start of the afternoon classes, and all of their friends said bye to Tony in order to leave them alone for a bit. He looked at him, in the middle of that corridor, and could only think all of the sudden he was really glad the letters had been sent out. Because when Tony joked that he couldn’t wait for his pie, that he wanted a cherry one with a beautiful crust, the feelings in his belly were real. Were way more real than the one he had ever thought he could feel for Steve. And the smile he got when he kissed Tony on the cheek was proof maybe their deal was a great idea after all. 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello hello ! 
> 
> I just wanted to say first of all, thanks to LaceyLuck and MissKitty_sapphire, as well as KahunaBurger for all of your comments ! It's very nice to see the story is liked, and it's really helping me to keep going and writing ! So thanks you :) 
> 
> We're almost at a turning point ! So brace yourself.

They fell into a weird, but really nice routine. Tony was still getting Bucky as often as he could in the morning, but had less and less time to get him home after - stating that his Father wanted him to work a bit on projects for SI, thus making him having to go straight home. If he was really honest, Bucky was disappointed since it was a little less time spend together, but it was a selfish and stupid reaction - at least once a week Tony would still do it, and one time he even stayed late at school to get Bucky home since it was raining. He was really, very sweet about it.   
After that first lunch, it had also become somewhat of a thing for them. Tony would at least once a week to come and eat with us, sometimes more. Bucky had to fight a bit to actually make him eat, but Steve had said it was “really cute” so it was a bonus point toward their goal, he guessed ? Tony fitted really well with his friends, discussing and debating random things, joking around endlessly. At first Bucky had winced at one or two witty retorts or harsh sarcasm, since Tony had quite a tongue when he wanted, but his friends gave as hard as they got, and nobody ended up hurt. Natasha was sometimes looking at Tony and Bucky with a weird air on her face, like she knew more than them, but Bucky thought it was only in his mind.    
  
Of course, they had their own “lunch dates”, at least once a week, just the two of them, more often than not outside of school. They could just stop pretending there, at least, even if Bucky kind of liked pretending. It was nice to be able to kiss Tony’s cheek, or hold his hand. Bucky took what he could, and enjoyed it as much as he could, silencing the voices saying it wasn’t fair to Tony to use their deal like that. But Tony was often the one that initiated these little things, keeping his hand longer than he had to on Bucky’s hips, taking his hand even if they were just walking alone, that kind of thing. So maybe Bucky could still hope, and enjoy. No one had to know.    
  
The week after that first lunch with his friends was Bucky’s start of the season. Per the deal, Tony had to come, and Bucky thought he would have to convince him, or at least remind him, but was pleasantly surprised when he received a text with a “Good luck for tomorrow, I’ll even go as far as wearing our colors.” And the next day, here he was, with Natasha and Clint, sporting a scarf in the colors of the school - probably borrowed, he had never seen Tony wear that kind of stuff. He winked when he saw Bucky and saluted him, which made him blush like an idiot. Steve made fun of him, of course, since he was like that.    
They won the match, destroying the opposing team, and Bucky thought he had played particularly well today because of his lucky charm being present in the form of Tony.    
The latter had invited all of them to a small after party in one of the best pizzeria of the neighborhood, and had refused to listen to anyone about paying. They all gorged on pizza, laughed a lot, and at the end of the day, alone in his bed, Bucky could only think how gorgeous Tony was when he was laughing. And how kind Tony was. And how great Tony was.   
He ended up getting out of bed, and listening to that good piece of advice from his Mom, wrote down his feelings. He hadn’t meant to do another love letter, but that’s just what happened on the paper. He put it in an envelope without re-reading it, hid it in a box and went to bed.    
  
Weeks became months, and soon they entered December. Tony was still his (very good) fake boyfriend, Steve wasn’t suspecting anything, and judging by the looks he received from Sunset Bain, she was definitely mad. Even if he hated the thought with all his heart, Bucky was starting to think that maybe, their deal was coming to an end. After all, its purposes had been achieved, so why would they stay like that ?   
“Because it’s the best thing that happened to you”, murmured a small voice. But he couldn’t listen to it. Maybe it was best to rip the bandage out before it would hurt too much. It was already going to hurt a lot.    
Of course, a part of him was thinking that maybe, he could come clean to Tony. Say the truth. That he was starting to fall very much for real. That he wanted to try and start dating for real. Except he could only look at the hard facts and the truth after. In what world would Tony Stark date him for real ? He was pretty sure Tony barely knew his name before this whole thing with the letter. So why would Tony want him for real ? They had their fun, he could admit it. But still, it wasn’t something that could exist on its own. Bucky had to remind himself of that.    
And maybe he had been trying to find a way to bring it up, to “break up” now, better than later he tried to think, but he never finds the courage to do it.   
  
He was in the library, having decided to do some homework here as to let his sister Becca invite some friends over at home without disturbing him. He had his headphones on, nodding at the music, when a pair of hands grabbed the device and pulled it from his ears. Frowning, he raised his head to tell the person off, surprised to see it’s Tony, smiling softly.    
  
\- “Hey.” He said, talking softly since they’re in a library. It’s barely more than a whisper.    
  
\- “Hey.” He was still frowning. “What are you doing here ?” He stopped his music.   
  
\- “Well,” Tony pouted, “Can’t a man just come to see his boyfriend without a reason ?” He raised a brow. Bucky couldn’t help but blush.    
  
\- “Tony..”    
  
\- “Fine fine, I actually have a reason anyway. But first, you know you should look at your phone from time to time ?” He gestured to his own, wrinkling his nose. “Had to ask Steve for your location…”    
  
\- “You have Steve’s phone ?” Bucky interrupted him, but that didn’t seem to do anything.    
  
\- “So. We’re in december.” He looked at Bucky.” It’s going to be 2 months of our relationship. So.”    
  
Ah. There it was. He was going to break it off. Of course he was going to. Bucky wasn’t needed anymore, so of course, Tony was going to call off this whole thing. God, he hoped he wasn’t going to go back to that bitch. Sunset didn’t deserve Tony at all. She was the worst, she really was…   
  
\- “James ? James, are you listening to me ?” Tony was passing a hand in front of his eyes, in an attempt to get him to listen. Because apparently, he had said things while Bucky was freaking out.    
  
\- “Y-Yeah.. I.. Sorry I zoned out..”   
  
\- “Yeah, I noticed.” Tony frowned, looking at him almost with a worried air.    
  
\- “Sorry. You were saying ?”    
  
\- “Was asking if we were doing a boyf- I mean fake boyfriend thing for Christmas. Or at least, a Christmas between friends ?” He made a tentative smile. Friends. Of course, apart from everything else, they had became friends. Maybe Bucky wouldn’t lose everything when it would end.   
  
\- “I.. Sure, yes.” He smiled too. “I would like that.” But he suddenly realized that he was talking to Tony Freaking Stark, son of a millionaire. “But uh… Maybe we should put a price’s cap or..”   
  
\- “What ?” Tony seemed surprised. “Why ? What if I want to shower you with gifs, uh ?”    
  
\- “Tony…” He blushed, uncomfortable. He didn’t want Tony to spend too much money on his gift, feeling like he didn’t really deserve it.    
  
\- “Okay, what about… No price’s cap, but I promise to be reasonable ? And in return.. You promise to be too. I mean, no need to spend a whole lot on me.”    
  
He measured the pros and cons to the whole affair. He wondered what in the hell Tony could buy him. He wondered what he could buy Tony, too.    
  
\- “Fine. You’ll have to promise nothing too extravagant, then.”    
  
\- “Promise.” He was having his giga-watt smile again. It was almost too bright for anyone to stand it. Bucky loved it. “Great. Good. Well. I’ll let you to it, then ?” He looked at Bucky’s homework, and raised a brow. “Oh. Physics. Need a bit of help, Sugarplum ?”    
  
It was oddly poetic. Being in the library again, Tony proposing his help for physics, but after having asked Bucky to celebrate Christmas with him.    
  
\- “Yeah, I’d like that.”    
  
Maybe they stayed more than they needed to in the library. Maybe the homeworks once finished, they just ended up talking, almost murmuring. Maybe Tony then asked Bucky if he would like to have a cup of coffee before coming home, and Bucky eagerly accepted. They had a great time, at that coffee.    
  
Maybe neither of them was really pretending anymore, at that point. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take care !


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey ! 
> 
> A slightly shorter chapter today, with kind of a weird cut, but I prefer it to the others options : a really long chapter and a short one, or a really really really long one... So I hope you like it ! It's not much but we get much more serious on the next one.

Bucky wanted to eviscerate Steve. He was really about to go down to his floor, and strangle him in front of his Mom. He would apologize to her, of course, but even her deserved a better son than that stupid loaf.    
  
\- “Stop sulking now, Bucky dear. It’s only fair I want to meet your boyfriend, isn’t ?”    
  
He had to use all his might not to glare at his Ma. It wasn’t her fault. It wasn’t at all. But still, Bucky had wanted to avoid this. He didn’t want to mix Tony and his family. It was supposed to be special. His first boyfriend. It wasn’t supposed to be a friend pretending to be his boyfriend. And now he didn’t have much choice, if he waited too long, his Ma would get upset, and if Tony learned of the invitation, he would surely accept. After all, he had asked about his Ma, with a strange longing air. Bucky knew Tony had still both of his parents, but didn’t know much apart from that, since it was a risky subject and Tony would always close up like an oyster whenever they were mentioned.    
But still. Even if Tony was surely going to be perfect for the part, charming and all of that, it wasn’t supposed to go like that. What would he tell his Ma once they would break up ? She would surely be very protective of her boy, and curse Tony out, even if it was supposed to be a friendly break-up.    
Because Bucky wanted to keep Tony as a friend, after all of that. He would try, at least.    
  
\- “M’not sulking.” He said, looking out the window. “I’ll invite him then, but I don’t know if he’ll be available.. He’s busy.”    
  
\- “If he can spend some time taking you out, he can spend some time in here.” She was smiling, but it still sounded like a threat to Bucky. “And tell him that if he can’t make any time for your poor Ma’, your Ma won’t take any more time making him coffee.” Ah, there was the threat. Tony would have no choice now.    
  
\- “Fine, fine, I’ll call him. Maybe he’ll be free this week-end.” She nodded, finally happy, and left the room.    
  
Bucky still couldn’t believe Steve had gone and ran his mouth to his Mom. It wasn’t entirely his fault, but still, it stung. The coffee after school had become another routine, like small dates (even if it weren’t real ones), and it was the third one. Steve had thus come home alone. Had encountered his Ma. Had babbled. Told her Bucky was his boyfriend, and when his Ma had frowned, Steve had tried to backtrack, but to no avail. So he had told her Tony was his boyfriend. And of course, that made a lot of sense for his Ma, because “you wouldn’t bother me for coffee if it weren’t for someone special, now would you”. Uh.    
So now, he had to invite Tony to dine with them. God. The idea made him really uneasy. He wondered what Tony would think of their small apartment. Surely it was something ridiculous, compared to his mansion. He probably had a bigger house than Hammer… He was dragged out of his thoughts by another text from Stevie trying to apologize. He would call him later. He decided to first call Tony. He picked up after the 2 firsts rings.   
  
\- “Hey there, Jamie-dear.”    
  
\- “Don’t call me Jamie.” He replied, but couldn’t help but smile.   
  
\- “Fine. I’ll just call you dear.” He chuckled lightly. “So what’s up ? It’s been what… Twenty minutes since I last saw your lovely face ?”    
  
\- “Must be about that, yeah.” He was blushing at the compliment like an idiot. “Steve ran his mouth to my Ma.”    
  
\- “Oh.” He heard a bit of noise, like Tony made something fall over. “Is that bad ?” He sounded worried.   
  
\- “Not necessarily bad.. I mean Ma knew I.. I was gay but mh.. She wants to meet you. Properly.” A small silence was heard.   
  
\- “Ah. Well. I mean, who am I to refuse her, mh ?”    
  
\- “No one. Since she threatened to take back coffee privileges so..”    
  
\- “What ? Oh, now that's a good incentive. Very good…” He heard a small sigh. “So mh, when ? I guess it would be better sooner than later, I still don’t know if I’ll be here for Christmas break, maybe we’ll go to Malibu so.. Yeah.”    
  
Tony had talked a bit about that to Bucky before. Apparently the family rarely had a nice private Christmas, it was always galas and soirees. And this time around, his Father had mentioned having it at Malibu, their second home. Bucky was a bit sad, at the idea of not being able to see Tony at all during break. But maybe they would call each other. And give each other their presents right after New Year.    
  
\- “Oh, right. Forgot ‘bout that.. Well, Christmas would have maybe been too formal anyway..” He chewed his lips. “When are you free ?”    
  
\- “For you ? Always.” Bucky could hear the teasing smile.   
  
\- “Yeah right. More like, free for Ma’s coffee.”   
  
\- “It’s our little secret, dear.”    
  
\- “Fine. Then, what about tomorrow night ? Don’t have a match on Saturday, so we’ll be good.”    
  
\- “I’ll check with Jarvis, but it should be good. Should we come to yours right after school ?”    
  
\- “I mean, you don’t have to, if you’re busy and only want to come and eat…”   
  
\- “Nah, I’m good. We’ll maybe squeeze a little coffee date.” The word rolled out of his tongue like it was natural. Bucky loved it.    
  
\- “Great. Well. Mh. It’s a date ?”    
  
\- “That it is. Well, I’ll talk to you later, Sugarplum, work awaits. See you tomorrow.”   
\- “Yeah. See you tomorrow, Tony. Goodnight.”    
  
Tony hung up first, and Bucky sighted. He decided to go down and talk to Steve, and he’ll see later about eviscerating him.    
  
  
The next morning went well. The group teased Steve for being a babbler mouth and Bucky for going a step further with Tony, Sam going as far as to whistle the wedding tune. Bucky decided to simply glare at him. At lunch he received a text that Tony was occupied and couldn’t join them, but he would be waiting for him in the parking lot at the end of class. Bucky felt himself getting more and more anxious as the classes passed, wondering if his Ma would approve of Tony, if Tony would like his Ma and his sister, if Tony would judge his home. He was pretty tense when he and Steve arrived at the parking lot at the end of the day, and true to his word, Tony was smoking, leaning against his car. Bucky wished he had told him his Ma hated the smell of cigarettes, but it was too late for that. Tony simply smiled when he saw them, crushing his butt under his shoe and unlocking his car. He leaned toward Bucky when he got close enough and kissed his cheek. As much as Bucky hated the smell of smoke, he liked the touch too much to say anything.   
  
\- “Hey Sugarplum. Hey Chatterbox.” He wiggled his eyebrows while looking at Steve, before getting inside his car.   
  
\- “Oh come on, not you too…” Steve muttered.   
  
\- “Well, I’m the second one concerned in this, with James, so of course I’m going to call you names. I have the rights !” He chuckled, and started the car as soon as they closed the door.    
  
\- “T’was an accident.”    
  
\- “It always is.”    
  
Tony was smiling and joking, being his usual self, and even if Bucky still didn’t knew him by heart, he could tell he wasn’t all that nervous. After all, if Tony was able to charm crowds at his parent’s events, he would surely be able to charm his Ma.    
Tony and Steve were mostly the ones talking during the drive back to his place, Bucky thinking too hard to concentrate on the flow of conversation. He was suddenly scared that he hadn’t cleaned his room enough. That maybe some dirty laundry would still be on the floor. Or maybe he hadn’t hid well enough the second letter he had written. He was very scared about that.    
But it was too late for that, and this time Tony didn’t just stop in the middle of the road for them to go out, but parked neatly. His car was a bit of odd being in this neighborhood, but it would be hopefully okay and no one would touch it.    
  
They both said goodbye to Steve at his floor, and continued one floor up. Bucky was about to say something, maybe warn Tony of how his house was “humble”, how he hoped his mom would like him, when Tony simply took his hand gently, smiled, and kept on walking. He closed his mouth and guided him towards his door, knocked lightly to announce their presences, and got in. His last thought before closing the door behind them was “in for a penny, in for a pound.”    
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take care !


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy ! 
> 
> Part 1 of Tony's meeting the (fake) in laws ! Hope you like it ;) 
> 
> (Also, I recommend listening to "Lift me from the ground - San Holo" begining at "He once heard that someone’s beauty was sometimes only their inside written all over.". But no obligations.)

\- “Bucky dear !” He had barely the time to blink, that she was embracing Tony at his side, in a full hug. Well. That was unexpected. “And you must be Anthony, oh I’m very glad to meet you, boy..”    
  
Bucky never had a real opportunity to see Tony blush. He could check that on his bucket list now. Because he was full on blushing, almost tomato red, and Bucky had to admit that was quite attractive on his tan skin. He was beautiful.    
And a bit awkward. He had let go of Bucky’s hand, but clearly didn’t know what to do with his, and was blinking slowly, looking at the wall. He clearly didn’t expect that either. So Tony could be something else than charming and at ease. Huh.    
  
\- “Glad to meet you too, Ma’am..” He finally said, seeing as Bucky was frozen in place and didn’t say anything to help him. Hearing his voice finally put him in gear.    
  
\- “Ma, let go off him, you can’t just hug people like that…” He frowned, but deep down, he thought it was sweet. His Ma was fully ready to accept his boyfriend in the family. Too bad Tony wasn’t the real one.    
  
\- “Of course you can, if they’re coming into the family.” But she did let go, and Tony seemed struck by her words. Frankly, Bucky was too, since it seemed as if she had voiced his thoughts. “And don’t you dare call me Ma’am, Anthony, I’m Winnifred !”    
  
\- “Oh. Of course. But then I’m Tony.” He finally seemed to get back into himself, smirking and putting his hands in his pockets. “Thank you for inviting me.”    
  
\- “Well, of course, I had to, after Stevie finally told me the truth. I knew something was fishy with you of course, why else would Bucky would ask me for coffee, or get all flustered when you texted or-..”   
  
\- “Think we got the picture, Ma’ !” Bucky interrupted her, looking at her with big eyes, blushing worse than Tony. Tony for his part, just chuckled. He had retrieved his normal complexion.   
  
\- “Hanw, don’t stop in his account, tell me more about how much effect I have.” He winked, and even his Ma seemed to have a bit more red in her cheeks. She laughed.   
  
\- “Ah, you’re quite the devil, are you not ?” Tony shrugged while smiling even more. “Well, it’s still a bit early for dinner, so I’ll let you go to your room and do your homeworks ?”    
  
\- “Sure Ma’.”    
  
\- “Do you need help with anything after ?” Tony asked, casually, and Bucky had to admit he was surprised. He didn’t think Tony was that much used to do chores, or help to make dinner.    
  
\- “I’ll ask you if it’s the case, thank you Tony !” She was all smiles, she looked happy.    
  
\- “Okay. Well mh, see you later Ma’.” He smiled, took Tony by the hand, and took him to his room.   
  
It wasn’t much. A medium room, on the smaller side. Contrary to his worries, he hadn’t any laundry on the floor, but that might have been thanks to his Ma’. Posters were on the walls, his bed was made, and all in all, it wasn’t that bad.   
  
\- “Nice room.” Tony said, smiling, getting closer to a shelf with photos.    
  
There were several, one with his Ma and Sister, another of him with his father when he was little. Some with Steve, too. And a group one, with their little group, taken last summer. Tony smiled, even if it’s almost a sad one for a second there.   
  
\- “You were so cute. It’s almost illegal. Those cheeks ! Now you’re all cheekbones and sexy, but..” He turned to look at him. “Well, still cute, but more sexy now.” He winks. Of course, Bucky blushes.   
  
\- “Shut up.” He crossed his arms, almost pouting like a child. “Now you owe me baby photos.”   
  
\- “With great pleasure, Mr Barnes.” He smiled even more at the idea, and honestly it was a pleasing one. He too, wanted to discover more of Tony. He may never have enough of him.    
  
\- “So.. Do you have any homeworks you have to do ?”    
  
\- “Actually, no. But I brought my computer, I’ll do some work still.”    
  
\- “What kind of work do you do ?” Bucky never dared asking.   
  
\- “Oh well, some things for my Dad. And the company.” He shrugged, but quickly looked away. Tony never seemed ashamed of anything. So Bucky didn’t poke.   
  
\- “Alright.”    
  
Tony promptly sat on the floor, his back against the bed, and dug out his computer. No matter the argument, he simply refused to take the desk, stating that he was much better on the floor than anything. He used the “I’m bi, I sit wherever the worst.” and that put an end to it. But Bucky, in an impulse of solidarity, sat right with him. They argued once more, Tony stating how dumb it was, Bucky saying it was only as dumb as Tony’s idea, but when the argument stopped, he didn’t last 10 minutes. Tony laughed, but he looked almost fond. They worked for a moment, with a bit of music as background. Bucky was almost lulled by the noise of Tony’s typing furiously, and after a moment, he just stopped working and looked a bit at Tony.    
  
He once heard that someone’s beauty was sometimes only their inside written all over. That someone’s mean would be ugly, and someone’s kind would always be beautiful. Bucky thought it was some right bullshit, since Sunset Bain was very beautiful but she was still a bitch.    
But the more he was looking at Tony, the more beautiful he seemed to him. Even before, with his dumb crush, he hadn’t notice how full his lips were. How soft his skin looked. How his curls were sitting perfectly without trying really. How his smile could illuminate a place. How his eyes were changing with his mood.    
Yes, the more he discovered of Tony, the more beautiful he thought he looked. And the fact that he was kind, funny, and smart just didn’t help at all Bucky’s feelings.    
  
He must have stared at Tony for a long time, because he finally raised his head and a brow.    
  
\- “What ? I’ve got something on my face ?”    
  
\- “N-No no… I..” There it was. The dumb panick. “Stuck on a physic’s thing, but I didn’t want to interrupt you.” He was becoming a very good liar. Having a fake boyfriend must have helped.   
  
\- “Oh.” He smiled, did something quickly on his keyboard before putting the computer on his side and getting up. “Should have said something earlier.” He came to Bucky, and frowned, seeing that it was french on his desk. “Uh.”    
  
\- “Wait I… I left it in my notebook, since you were busy, I’ll get it.” He grabbed his bag, thinking it was the lamest recovery in history but Tony didn’t say anything. He grabbed the folding chair and sat on it. “There it is.” He really had a physics problem anyway.   
  
They started working on it. But Bucky quickly found himself lost in his thought again. Glancing at Tony. Listening to his voice. Soon he completely forgot to actually listen to the words, just looking at Tony’s mouth moving. He tried to get out of his thoughts, but of course now nothing Tony was saying made sense.   
  
\- “Could you.. Erh, explain that last bit again ?”    
  
\- “Again ?” Tony frowned, finally looking at him rather than the book displayed between them. “You alright there, James ?”    
  
No. Bucky wasn’t. He was drowning in Tony’s eyes, he was feeling his heart fluttering, and his palm getting sweaty. He couldn’t help but look at Tony’s lips, before scolding himself because he was being way too obvious. He was surely about to make Tony flee.    
  
\- “Sorry I.. Yeah. Am alright.” He tried to smile.   
  
Tony was still looking at him. He was looking at Tony. He couldn’t stop. He felt himself lean in, without controlling himself. The weird thing was, Tony too leaned. He was surely dreaming. He blinked, and suddenly Tony was kissing him.   
  
Everything went so fast, too fast, but slowly at the same time. Tony was kissing him. His lips were soft, and even if he could still taste a bit of smoke, it wasn’t as bad as the second time Tony had kissed him. He grabbed Tony’s t-shirt, crumpling the fabric between his fingers. He felt Tony’s hand on his cheek, and his tongue on his lips, so of course he parted his lips.    
Tony was kissing him, again. It was soft and sweet, they were taking their time, and it was the most wonderful thing in existence.    
And it didn’t even stop. Because when they were finally out of fresh air, Tony leaned back, just a little, but made little kisses on his lips, just the time for them to breathe, before going back in. This time he put his other hand on Bucky’s neck. He could feel his knees weak, and was glad he was sitting, because here he was, sitting Tony Stark.    
  
How much had he dreamed of that, since his stupid idea of putting a “no kissing” rule in their agreement. How much had he thought of Tony’s lips. How much had he wanted it. And now, it was his. He decided that it would never stop, he didn’t want it to stop, it was too perfect, too good…   
  
\- “Hey !” His door almost crashed open, Becca looking at them with big eyes, surprised by the turn of events maybe as much as them. Because as soon as the door had opened, they both had let go of each other, (maybe a bit violently, since Bucky thought he saw Tony gripping the desk from the corner of his eye to avoid slipping off his chair. Bucky couldn’t find his voice back. “ MA ! Bucky and his boyfriend are KISSING !”    
  
\- “Becca !” There it was, his voice. And he was going to beat his sister up for ruining his life.    
  
\- “Becca !” He heard the voice of his Ma’. “Leave the boys alone ! Come here !” The little devil actually pouted, still a hand on the handle of the door.   
  
\- “Well. Nice to meet you, Tony, I’m Becca, Bucky’s sister. Have fun K I S S I N G…” She sang the rest of her phrase and closed the door behind her.    
  
Bucky couldn’t believe it. His sister had ruined his first (real) kiss with Tony. And Tony couldn’t dare to look at Tony again now that the whole instant was ruined. The silence was suffocating. Bucky wanted to die. But after what seemed like hours (seconds), Tony cleared his throat.   
  
\- “Well. Can I just say right now, I prefer your Ma ?” Bucky could hear the smile in his voice. He was picturing his small smile, just saying that phrase. After a moment of thought, he finally looked at him, and yep, there it was, the smile.    
  
\- “M’sorry. That was awkward.” He swallowed, not feeling great at the moment. It was surely now that Tony was going to say it was a mistake and they should break up their fake thing. He lowered his head, scraping the back of his neck, having the feeling Tony’s hand was still there.   
  
\- “What was ? The sister thing, or the kissing thing ? No.. No bad answer here, really, just one I would prefer.”    
  
Well. That made Bucky frown. He wasn’t running away ? He looked at him again. He could always try. In for a penny, in for a pound..    
  
\- “The sister thing.. Was awkward.” To his surprise, Tony’s face just lit up.   
  
\- “Great. So we can keep on with the kissing one.”    
  
And on those words, he grabbed Bucky’s face once more, gently, and kissed him again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take care !


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello. 
> 
> Sorry about the lack of updates, but I scraped my last chapter and had a bit of a writer's block. Hope you'll like this one anyway ! 
> 
> I may not post everyday for the reminder of the fic, I'll see how it flows, but I'll try and not go too long without posting !

Tony didn’t need to be told twice, and if Bucky said the kissing thing wasn’t awkward, he saw no reason to not continue. So without missing a beat, he kissed him again, putting his hand back on his cheek. This was probably one of the best decisions of his life.    
  
It had been a lot of back and forth in his mind, since his conversation with Rhodey. He had decided, of course, to try and seduce James, but sometimes his old self deprecating way would just overwhelm him. Scream at him that he wasn’t good enough, would never be good enough for something as good as a relationship with James Barnes. Because the more time he spent with him, the more he saw how different they both were.   
James was nice. Maybe perhaps sometimes too nice, where Tony only viewed himself as an asshole with sometimes purpose. Even his friends were nice to him, when Tony had been nothing but maybe snappy to them before. Of course they all knew Tony, from name at least, but to be honest without Barnes he would have never known Clint’s name, or known Wilson’s first name was Sam. He had discovered pretty quickly that he liked them too, and didn’t mind at all spending time with them.   
  
Falling in love with Bucky had been very weird for Tony. He had almost missed the signs, and didn’t really understood them before it was just laid out in front of him by Rhodey, in a very stupid skype call. Tony thought he had been in love with Sunset. He really did. Now he understood that it wasn’t maybe the case at all. It was maybe more of a dependant feeling, a mutual appreciation and need of someone else. It wasn’t at all comparable to what he was feeling when Bucky laughed, close to him, because he had made a bad pun. Or that feeling when Bucky dared kissing him on the cheek when they were alone.    
He quickly had found he just couldn’t have enough for him, anyway. What had started with car rides to help the guy out transformed into several lunches, and even some coffee dates. And it wasn’t enough. Tony slept less and less, to cram in the night the work he hadn’t done in the day, but it was worth it.    
  
Which brings him right there. In Bucky’s room. After having accepted to meet his Ma (Tony was always good at hiding fears, and he had been good at hiding this one, but god Winnifred Barnes looked like a formidable woman), actually having met her, he was now here. He had really hoped Bucky would not just push him away, when he had leaned in and kissed him. But he had not. And even if Becca had interrupted them, it was not a big deal. Because Bucky was kissing him back, now, with a hint of passion and it was all Tony could hope for.    
  
But after a moment, he had to stop to breathe (real shame), and opening his eyes, he looked at Bucky. It was a pretty amazing sight, his cheeks blushed and lips red, and Tony swallowed and breathed in, trying to keep himself in check. But nothing could prevent him from getting the biggest grin on his face.    
  
\- “Not awkward at all, uh ?”    
  
\- “Nah. Not one bit.” Bucky was smiling widely too, maybe blushing even more. At that sight, Tony stole another kiss.    
  
\- “Great.”    
  
\- “Great.” Bucky mirrored, and they stayed like that for a bit. Tony was caressing his cheek with his thumb slowly, enjoying the moment.    
  
Rhodey would be proud of him, to try and take the opportunity to be happy. To break the cycle of self hatred maybe. Just for a bit.    
Maybe tomorrow Tony would think too hard and get the fact that Bucky deserved far better than Tony would ever be capable of giving, or being. It was possible. But at the moment, nothing else mattered. He was happy. But after another small moment, surely to be sure nothing else than PG13 was happening, Winnifred’s voice was heard.    
  
\- “Boys, I would like some help to set the table and finish dinner, please.”    
  
\- “Sure thing Ma’.” Bucky replied easily. Tony had to let go, of course. Didn’t mean he couldn’t steal one last kiss before getting up from his chair.    
  
They both got out of the room, maybe both a bit awkward and blushing, but James’s Ma didn’t say anything about it. Tony from the corner of his eye caught Becca snickering, but a glare from her Ma stopped her quickly. The usual questions were exchanged, Winnifred asking if he had any siblings, how was school for him, what were his plans for the future. She looked quite shocked when he announced he was probably going to take up SI’s mantle so she probably hadn’t made the connection between his name and the company. Better for Tony if he had any say about it. The less connection he had with Howard, the better for now.    
  
The dinner went without an itch, as smoothly as it could, and seeing how much Winnifred was smiling and laughing when Tony made several compliments on the cooking, she must not hate him completely. She was all the part of a great mom, really. Invested in her children’s lives, without being too nosy. Kind and soft but respected. Proud of her kids too, if anything, seeing how she praised Bucky’s skill for a good ten minutes, despites his protests. They all made the picture-perfect family after all, minus the father. Tony had guessed it was a really touchy subject at first, but after a while Bucky had told him a bit about him. How he had left them when Becca wasn’t 2, and how angry that made him.    
But for Tony, Dad or not, this family was still way better than his own. He was still mulling that thought over when Winnifred asked him another question.    
  
\- “So, Bucky told me you were going away for the Holidays ?”    
  
\- “Ah, uh, yeah.” He smiled, finally taking another bite of pie, realizing he was just playing with it. “Going off to Malibu.”    
  
\- “Going to see your family ?”   
  
\- “Oh no. Don’t have anyone except my parents. But it was the headquarters of SI for a long time, and still is the one from the Carbonell’s fondation so.. Christmas galas there.” He took another bit of pie, sensing the pitying looks on him.    
  
\- “Oh, it’s the fondation who provides Bucky with his scholarship ! Isn’t that right Bucky ?”    
  
Tony shot his head up at that, looking at Bucky with big eyes. He had known, of course, that Bucky was at SHIELD with a scholarship, but he hadn’t thought it was his Mother’s fondation who was the one providing him. It was weird, really. His boyfriend was at school thanks to his family ?    
  
\- “Uh, yeah.” Bucky confirmed. “But I didn’t know it was your Mom’s fondation..” He shrugged.   
  
\- “Didn’t know either.” He blinked, but looked at his pie after a while.    
  
\- “You must be super rich, then.” Becca said, after a bit of silence. Tony felt the corner of his mouth lift up.    
  
\- “I am, yeah. Well, my parents are.”    
  
\- “So you are, then.” She frowned.    
  
\- “Am not, not really. If.. Let’s say, I had a big fight with my Father, he could decide to just withdraw all of his money and cut me off. Would have nothing.” He shrugged.   
  
\- “Oh.” She looked lost for an instant. “He wouldn’t do that. That would be terrible.”    
  
\- “It would.” He couldn’t help but chuckle, and didn’t correct her about the possibility. Howard threatened him enough like that.    
  
\- “Will you spend all of your holidays there, then ? New Year’s included ?”   
  
\- “I believe so, yeah.” He didn’t want to say that anyways, he didn’t have any plans here. Pepper and Rhodey had a romantic get-away for New Year’s, not that they knew of it yet. Tony liked grand gestures as Christmas’s gift when he could. And they didn’t talk with Bucky about that anyway.    
  
\- “That’s a shame, isn’t it Bucky ?”   
  
\- “Yeah. Would have been great to have you for our little party.” He was looking at Tony with a shy smile on his face.    
  
\- “Well, I’ll see with my father if I can get away then.” He smiled at him too, hoping that maybe, for a year, he would have the opportunity    
  
The meal ended a bit after some more small talk, and both him and Bucky helped Winnifred with the clean up. Tony would have wanted to stay more, to talk to Bucky, but seeing the time, Winnifred urged him to go, afraid his parents would worry. He almost wanted to correct her and to say no one would wait for him, but didn’t have the heart to. He just nodded, and went to collect his bag in Bucky’s room. He went back, said his goodbye to Becca, got hugged by Winnifred, stating that he would be welcome here as long as he wanted to come, and Bucky announced he would accompany him to his car. It wasn’t necessary, but Tony was still quite grateful for that.    
  
They both went out of the flat, after some last goodbye to Winnifred, and silently went to his car. They both stopped beside it, looking at each other, and Tony snapped first. He took Bucky in his arms and kissed him, once more. Just in case it would be all over after tonight, he wanted a last taste of it. He was still surprised that Bucky kissed him back, so he could only guess the fear of losing the guy wouldn’t just go away.    
After a little while, he let go, out of breath, and looked at him.    
  
\- “I’ll see you on Monday, then ?” It shouldn’t have been a question, in any ways, Bucky would be at school. But Tony wanted maybe to give him an out.   
  
\- “Yeah. Coming to get me ? Ma will make you extra coffee, now.”    
  
\- “I’ll be there, then.” He grinned, stole a kiss, and finally let him go. “Goodnight, darling.”    
  
\- “Goodnight.” Bucky was smiling, hugging himself to get his coat closed and protect himself from the cold. “Text me when you’re home.”    
  
Tony nodded, and got into his car. After a last wave, he drove away.    
It was one of the best nights of his life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take care !


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello ! 
> 
> More fluff and sweetness from our boys ! 
> 
> As a fair warning to you all, this is the last chapter before "some" of angst. (Don't know how to mesure angst tho)   
> But I still guarantee a happy ending for them, and for this fanfic.

The week-end passed Bucky like a blur, and with him lost in his thoughts. After Tony had left, his Ma had made her point telling Bucky how much she liked him, that he looked like a proper young man (Bucky couldn’t help but snort at that), and he would be welcome home any time. The whole speeched passed almost in a haze, and soon enough Bucky had found himself in his room. Where Tony had kissed him, a bit earlier. And if that didn’t threw him for a loop, nothing probably could.    
He was almost convinced he had hallucinated the whole evening, when Tony had text him to let him know he was home, with some more kiss emojis and a good night. He had replied and went to sleep, still debating in his mind what was real and what wasn’t. He woke up to another text, from Tony, stating that he had to go on a work binge this week-end and that he probably wouldn’t be able to answer much. But he still asked if he was coming to get him monday morning, and after Bucky replied that yes, Tony said he couldn’t wait and that was the end of that.   
Yes, maybe he had just dreamt everything. He was almost positive that he did, so he was almost surprised when Steve came on saturday, asked him how the evening went, and Becca laughed and said they just kissed a whole lot in his room. That had to be proof it wasn’t in his mind right ?    
  
Maybe Bucky was being stupid, but when Tony pulled up to him on Monday morning, he was still a bit unsure as to what to do. He couldn’t talk about it anyway, since Steve was there waiting with him. He proceeded to just get into the car, like usual, without maybe the kiss on the cheek he decided. But after having closed the door behind him, Tony, with his mega smile, just grabbed his chin gently and brought Bucky’s lips to his. So. It had been real.    
  
\- “Morning, darling. So, tell me the verdict, do you Ma like me, or am I to live forever without her delicious coffee ?”    
  
It seemed all so easy. Like they had done this all the time. For Tony, it seemed like nothing had changed, except it had. But his smile was contagious, and he had just kissed him. Bucky had no other choice than to smile like a fool too. He held up the thermos.   
  
\- “She liked you. Said you could have all the coffee you want.”    
  
\- “Brilliant !” He grabbed it, drank probably half of it, and put it in the cup holder before starting the car.    
  
\- “Hello to you too, Tony.” Steve sniffed, visibly vexed to have become invisible. In all honesty, even Bucky had forgot him. Oups.    
  
\- “Oh hey, Blabber-mouth ! I should maybe thank you now, since Winnifred likes me.” Tony was all smiles saying that, throwing a look at Steve in his mirror.    
  
\- “Don’t… Don’t call me that..”    
  
\- “Aren’t you one, though ?”    
  
\- “Yeah well, if Bucky’s Ma like you, no harm done, so.. Stop it.”    
  
\- “Maybe I will. Maybe I won’t.” He chuckled, and Bucky almost squicked when he sensed his hand on his thigh, just before his knee. He threw a look at Tony, but he was still smiling and acting like his usual self. Bucky could work with that.    
  
Steve and Tony continued to exchange banter, like always, teasing and joking, and Bucky could help but to listen to all of it with a goof smile on his lips, especially everytime Tony’s hand got back to his thigh. Tony was acting like his boyfriend. For real. And that.. That was the best thing in the world. He got even more proof when they got out of the car, since Tony just stole a kiss before getting an arm around him and walking him to his class. He even made a promise to come to lunch, despite the fact that it was a rare occurence on Mondays. He left after a last small kiss, and Bucky was left looking like a fool, who could barely hold his mouth close.    
  
\- “You two seem… Closer.” Steve noted, arms crossed beside him.   
  
\- “I.. I guess.” He swallowed. “We had a talk friday.” He shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant. He wasn’t about to reveal their little deal to Steve, especially not right now.    
  
\- “Good. It’s cute.” Steve said, with a small smile.    
  
\- “Yeah. It is.”    
  
Bucky could only agree.    
At lunch, Tony indeed came to eat with us, bringing with him a smiling Bruce, who still didn’t dare come with them when Tony wasn’t there, but there was progress. They all discussed the possibility of a secret santa, quickly putting a price cap on it after Clint threw the idea of rigging it to have Tony as his. They ate, talked, laughed, and Tony was closer than ever, looking at him almost each time Bucky would look up, and it couldn’t have been better. If thought they still needed to discuss everything, but they could not do it in front of their friends anyway, so it would have to wait.   
He took Steve and Bucky home at the end of the day, and after hesitating for the whole ride, Bucky asked Tony if he would like a coffee upstairs. He had thought at first they would talk about this new situation, but turned out Tony hadn’t talking in mind. They ended up making out in his room - only kissing, Tony understood pretty quickly once Bucky took his hand back up after a try - and stopped only after hearing Becca coming home. Tony left, all smiles once again.    
  
The whole week passed like that, too fast, and without any times to actually talk for real to Tony. Not that Bucky could really complain, he had been sometimes the one who just launched himself at his (new) boyfriend and couldn’t help himself. But Tony was in the same state, and after 3 days, Bucky thought maybe they didn’t need to talk about anything. They were together, for real now, and that was good. That was great.    
Tony seemed to spend almost all of his time with him. He didn’t hide himself at lunch in the school labs, didn’t just take his computer out at lunch and worked like a mad man. He got Bucky home almost everyday, and stayed for coffee (actual coffee, most of the time, since his Ma was home) after. They ended up watching fight club, and if Tony wasn’t that impressed with the movie, he at least stopped fidgeting for most of it.    
He noticed that now, Tony was one of theirs. He had private jokes with Clint, could take up Natasha’s sarcasm and give back just as good, gang up on Steve with Sam and gang up on Sam with Steve.    
Bucky also discovered (or rather confirmed his hunche) that Tony was a really, very tactile person. Since that kiss, if he could touch Bucky, hold his hand or be against him, Tony would be and or do that. It looked like he didn’t restrain anymore at all, and Bucky couldn’t complain.    
He even noticed that Tony made several efforts for him, for exemple trying to cut back on his smoking, since Bucky had grimaced the few times he had tasted a bit too much of it on Tony’s lips.   
  
The only dark spot on all of this was that it was now a confirmed fact Tony would spend the Holidays at Malibu, and probably won’t have that much time to communicate. Seemed like if Howard Stark was in the same building, worst in the same room, Tony wasn’t at all free to do what he wanted. He foresaw a holidays of working for his Father, do stupid galas, and wait for all of it to be over. It seemed grim, to Bucky’s perspective, but apparently Tony wasn’t that enchanted by it either.    
  
\- “It’s just stupid to go, I mean the headquarters are in New York now..” He sighed. “Well at least, I’ll be hot for Christmas.” Bucky raised a brow. “I mean Malibu is hotter than New York. I’m always hot, especially at Christmas. Should see me in a suit, Barnes.” He punched his arm lightly.    
  
\- “Would love to see that, actually. You’ll send me pics ?” He smiled, even more when Tony stole a small kiss.   
  
\- “If you behave. I’ll have Natasha and Steve send me reports.”    
  
\- “What ? Nooo. No you can’t do that !”    
  
\- “Yes I can ! I’ll do whatever I want.” Tony started tickling him. Bucky tried to retaliate. Soon only their laughter was heard in the room. They finally stopped after Bucky almost fell off the bed. After a bit of silence, Tony added. “I’ll miss you.” It was barely more than a whisper, something small, and when Bucky looked up, he wasn’t even looking at him.    
  
\- “I’ll miss you too.” He responded in a whisper too, not wanting to do more harm to the comfortable silence between them. Tony finally looked at him, and smiled. He put his head on top of Bucky’s chest, and they stayed like that for a moment, cuddling, at peace.    
  
They talked a bit more, in low voices, made plans for after the Holidays. Tony promised that he would try to get back for the New Year, even if he didn’t sound convinced at all. He then made him promise to bake him something, anything, for when he would get back, or else he wouldn’t have his gift. Bucky only laughed as a response, but it seemed enough.   
When Tony left, going home to pack his bags and be in a plane early in the morning, Bucky couldn’t help but think that the week they had passed was the best of his life. He finally had a boyfriend, and what boyfriend was it ? Tony freaking Stark.    
He remembered his letter, written months ago. He still wondered who could have sent them out, but it wasn’t in his priority now.    
All he knew was that at this moment, he was happy. He never felt happier, maybe. And all of this was because of Tony. So he knew his past self was wrong in at least something. Tony Stark wasn’t an asshole at all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take care !


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello !
> 
> Sorry once again for the lack of updates, it's been once again a bit of a struggle. I hope I got it for now ?  
> Anyway, here's today's chapter ! Hope you like it :)

Tony was barely out of the garage that he knew his Father was home, and that it wasn’t going to be that great of a Holiday break. Jarvis was looking calm, but Tony who knew him so well noticed his tight lips and sad eyes. He took Tony’s coat and keys without a word, when usually he asked about Bucky.    
How he hated Howard Stark for ruining his life.   
  
\- “Hello J. Got home earlier to pack, aren’t you happy ?”    
  
That got a small smile out of the old man, since Tony wasn’t home all of that early, and that Jarvis probably had already packed his suitcases.    
  
\- “Your father is awaiting you in the study, Sir.” He replied, the smile slipping already off his face. Tony’s too, vanished like magic. So Howard was home and wanted to talk to him. Never a great combo.    
  
\- “Sure, J. Thanks.” He tried a small smile, and went up the stairs to meet his father.    
  
The more close to the door he was, the tighter his stomach. He hoped Howard hadn’t discovered anything about Bucky. They were pretty discreet, and had never really kissed in public, even after that wonderful week of real relationship. In any case, Tony was a small celebrity, not worth following in day-to-day life, and it would have probably been already all out, if they had been discovered. Still, if it wasn’t the paparazzi, maybe someone else had tipped off Howard. Tony doubted that he would appreciate his son being a “real faggot”. He had called him faggot before, of course, but Tony had never proven that he was indeed one.   
  
He knocked on the heavy door three times, waiting for the “Come in”, who sounded so much like a sentence. His palms were getting sweaty, he noticed as he opened the door.    
He found Howard sitting behind the desk, as usual, a glass of whiskey in front of him. He didn’t look that red, so he probably was on the first glass. Tony didn’t know if that was a blessing or a curse. Probably a blessing, but he didn’t want to think it too early.   
  
\- “You wanted to see me, Sir.” Maybe if he was following dumb rules and etiquettes, Howard would let him go quickly.    
  
\- “Your work has been lacking, boy.” Despite the harsh tone, Tony breathed in a bit. It wasn’t about Bucky. They were safe.    
  
\- “I don’t understand, Sir, I’ve got only A’s.” He replied, without looking at Howard, hands behind his back, eyes on the floor. He had calculated once that a submissive attitude helped him get out of the study without any hits by 34%.    
  
\- “I’m not talking about your school work, I don’t care about that.” He heard the glass being put down, so he must have drunk a bit more. The quicker the better. Tony still didn’t understand the matter, but didn’t dare say it, waiting for the rest. The silence was suffocating, but Howard finally added. “About SI. Your coding’s been lacking, there have been several errors detected in the last one and you have given it late to the team.”    
  
Of course. SI, always SI. Tony was only 17 but Howard expected him to just give his entire life to SI.    
The bitter thought that he didn’t know if he wanted Howard to die before he was of age to take on the company and give it to someone else for a small reprieve, or wanted for him to live as long as possible so he wouldn’t have to take it on was way too present in his mind.    
  
\- “I’m sorry Sir.”    
  
\- “Sorry ?” He replied, cutting, the glass once more being put on the desk. Tony was almost sure, having heard that noise too many times, that it was now empty.    
  
\- “I’m sorry Sir, I’ll do better.”    
  
A small silence again, torture for Tony. He hated Christmas for that reason. Howard would be here, pretending to love and care for his family. He would have to see him way more than the rest of the year. And he would always drink at parties. The rest wasn’t hard to guess.    
  
\- “Look at me, boy.” Tony swallowed, lifting his head to look at his father. He was glaring at him, almost with hatred. Maybe not almost. Tony didn’t want to think too hard of it. “You’ve been distracted, boy. Don’t think I don’t know what’s happening in my own house. With you.”    
  
He didn’t dare reply anything. His hands still behind his backs, he tried to keep himself calm, concentrating on the small pain from his nails in the skin of his palm.    
  
\- “Those new friends of yours.” He stopped breathing. “Surely a bunch of freeloaders. Do you really think you’ll go far in life with that kind of connection, Anthony ?” The tone was sharp.    
  
\- “No, Sir.” Maybe if he replied something Howard wanted to hear, everything would be over quickly. If he concentrated on his friends, he wouldn’t dig into it too much. Never would know about Bucky.    
  
\- “You know who can help you advance in life ? People like Sunset Bain. Or Justin Hammer.” It was hard not to scoff. Howard called his friends freeloaders, and was praising these two ? That was pathetic. The real freeloaders were them. Especially Hammer. “You better reconnect with them, during the Holidays. They’re invited to the galas we’re having.” He looked at Tony. “And you’re expected to catch up with the work you’ve been putting off. Correct those damn codes.” He poured himself another glass. “D’you understand me, boy ?”    
  
\- “Yes, Sir.” He nodded, watching the liquid in the glass. If all he had to do was not be too much on his phone and work his coding ? It was the best news he could have heard. As long as his father didn’t know about Bucky, everything was good to him.    
  
\- “Good. Now get out.”    
  
He nodded once more, and got out of the room quickly, closing the door behind him. He didn’t see Jarvis on his way to his room, but it’s not like he needed to reassure him, when Howard got violent, it was generally heard loud and clear in the manor.    
He threw himself on his bed and sighted. It could have gone a lot worse, of course. He didn’t even dare to picture what would happen if his father caught wind of his relationship. He maybe would even go as far as throwing him out. What good would Tony be, do, then ? Nothing.    
And on another plus side, Howard didn’t hit him, this time. Of course, before galas, Howard always seemed to remember himself and not really throw punches, not visible one at least, but you never know. Tony didn’t like wearing makeup at events to cover up the bruises.    
He looked at his phone.    
  
_ BAEtiful - 20:47 : Have a safe flight tomorrow. And text me once you’re there. Goodnight. * plane emoji, moon emoji, kiss emoji *  _ _   
_ _   
_ _ To BAEtiful - 21:32 : Sorry, just finished packing. Of course I’ll text you. Night. * kiss emojis x5 *  _   
  
Maybe these holidays wouldn’t be so bad. Well, they were going to suck, of course, he wasn’t going to be able to see Bucky, maybe not talk to him all that much, and he would have to spend some time with Sunset, but at least it was going to be over quickly. If he behaved well enough, maybe he could get back to celebrate the New Year with his friends. Maybe he could kiss Bucky at midnight, and celebrate in a special way the new beginning. He got up, and went to search his drawer. He found what he was looking for quickly, a small velvet box.    
He was afraid Bucky wouldn’t like this gift. Maybe it was a bit too much, for a first gift, for them especially when they weren’t even in a real relationship for more than a month. But he had thought it was kind of a funny and nice idea.    
Tony had forged a little plate, almost like dog tags. He had inscribed “Proof Tony Stark isn’t an asshole” on one side, and “I love you” on the other.    
  
It was cheesy, it was stupid. Half the time, Tony wanted to forget about the whole thing and just give Bucky a starkphone. But Rhodey had said it was a nice little gift, a good way to say his feelings.    
Because Tony had to accept it now, he was more than gone for James Barnes. If he hadn’t been before, kissing him would have done the deal. And he had wanted to tell him, of course he had, but it didn’t come out. So, even if maybe Bucky ended up throwing his stupid gift at his face and cursing him out, at least he would have been honest with him.    
What Tony had wanted to say to Rhodey was that maybe all of this was for nothing, since he still thought that Bucky had feelings for Steve. He didn’t dare say it outloud, like the opposite of a wish, if he said it outloud it would come true. But he still thought of it, sometimes. Because when Bucky thought no one was looking, he still had a sort of longing gaze, for the blonde. And well, maybe it was all in his head. But maybe not. After all, everything had started as a way for Bucky to forget about Steve. (Even if Bucky himself didn’t tell, Tony knew it was true.)    
  
Closing the box once more and hiding it again behind a pile of clothes, he sighted. Maximum 2 weeks and he would be free. And maybe he would get the guy, or maybe he wouldn’t. No big deal, right ? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take care !


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello ! 
> 
> Here we go again with a Tony POV :) 
> 
> These damn characters keep acting up, I want to write something and it just.. Evolves haha so enjoy ?

Time was insufferably slow. Tony thought it was some kind of hell. It couldn’t have been otherwise.   
They had landed in Malibu early in the morning, but rather than be able to sleep, his Mother had forced him to try on new tuxes at the tailor. Howard had decided the rest of his day would be spent correcting his botched code. He then had to endure dinner with SI partners. And the whole day began anew. Except for the tailor, of course. But Howard had just kept piling on more and more and more work. Maria was barely seen, except for the boring dinners. Tony missed Jarvis. Missed Bucky too. Caught in the work, he couldn’t text or call, and if Howard was in the vicinity he didn’t even dared taking out his phones. Christmas was spent like any Christmas in the Stark Family. They had a silent dinner, and that was it.   
  
As he was putting on his bowtie, he sighted. Tonight was the first galas held during the holidays. He hoped to God he would be home by the time the second one for the New Year rolled around. He couldn't help but think of how things could have gone for Christmas. He could have been home, maybe spent the day with Bucky, before leaving him to a nice family dinner. He was sure Christmas at Bucky’s was a nice thing. The kind that makes you warm and fuzzy inside, the kind of event where you count the day before the next.   
He couldn’t help but imagine being there. Forgetting for an instant the stupid event he was supposed to attend. It surely ended up resembling more a Christmas movie in his mind than a reality, but nonetheless, he longed for that kind of Christmas. Maybe, just maybe, next year he would be able to be there.   
  
He nearly jumped out of his own skin when his father’s voice rang throughout the villa, calling him. Another sight, before he rushed out of his room and into the limo waiting for them outside. Like usual, Maria was the perfect kind of beauty that existed only in magazines, and Howard was looking pissed. Well, at least he wasn’t forced to spend the whole evening with him, with them. And maybe if he was lucky, he could just retreat somewhere for most of it, before pretending to be sick and get home. Maybe that would pass, if Howard was busy.   
  
Neither of his parents made any effort to talk in the car. Howard was on his phone, Maria was looking out the window with a longing air, so Tony didn’t bother and just did the same. He wished they were still in New York. He loved Malibu, of course, but he loved the snow at Christmas more.   
Once at the venue though, the whole dynamics changed. Everyone got their press-smile right on, ready to face the few photographs outside. They quickly moved in, and Tony was about to fuck off to find something to eat when Howard’s hand on his shoulder stopped him.   
  
\- “You better act right, tonight Anthony. I won’t tell you this twice.”   
  
And without any explanation, putting his smile back on, he entered the main space and got greeted by some politician. Blinking slowly, Tony tried to make out this order, not understanding why the warning had taken place. After all, he had never acted badly during soirées like that, too afraid of Howard’s reaction once behind closed doors. So why would he act weird now ? Shaking his head, he finally straightened his jacket and entered too.   
The next half and hour was just smiles, polite nods, greeting to men and women he barely remembered, trying to eat but getting nothing more than way too small canapes, and trying to avoid his dad.   
He finally had a bit of time to breathe, and without thinking, took out his phone (after having checked Howard was nowhere to be seen), and snapped a few pictures of the gorgeous Christmas Tree. Decked in all red and gold, he was enormous, and beautiful. Without thinking, he sent them to Bucky.   
  
_To BAEtiful - 23:02 : Probably asleep by now, since it’s 2am at home but.. Still a bit of Christmas ?* heart emojis *_   
  
He barely had clicked the “send” button that he heard a sweet voice way too close to his ear, making him jump.   
  
\- “Well, hello there, Tony.” Turning around quickly, Tony blinked at Sunset. She was sporting a beautiful dress, in a nice shade of green that complimented her skin well.   
  
\- “Hello, Sunset.” He had hoped that he wouldn’t see her tonight. He didn’t want anything she was probably going to try and sell him. He didn’t want her poison.   
  
\- “Are you not going to invite me to dance ?” She raised a brow, challenging.   
  
\- “I’d rather not.” She tssk lightly.   
  
\- “Howard won’t be pleased. I ran into him earlier, he told me you were surely looking forward to see me.” She smiled even more, knowing that she was winning.   
  
\- “Perhaps he forgot the bit about us not being together anymore, then.” He replied, crossing his arms.   
  
Last year, he had been so glad, when she had accepted his invitation. The night had almost been a success, after all. Howard had almost smiled at him, when he had caught them dancing.   
But then, maybe a glass or two, he didn’t remember. Maybe a mishaps, that hadn’t pleased her. That had been one of their biggest fights. She had slapped him, twice. Called him out, for several things. He didn’t remember. Didn’t want to remember. The night had ended with a big bruise, tears of rage, of shame, and of sadness, shed in an empty room. He had apologized the day after. He still didn’t know why. She had refused. He had gifted her two pairs of shoes, a nice bracelet, and a new phone. She had accepted his apologies.   
  
\- “Well, what does that have to do with us, mh ?” She was still smiling. “We can still dance. I’m sure Howard would be pleased to see you acting so maturely as to dance with your ex.”   
  
He felt his jaw twitching. He wanted to tell her to fuck off. To tell her to stay the hell away from him, from Bucky, and from his happiness.   
He turned his head, and saw Howard, looking at them. Raising his brows.   
Message received.   
  
\- “Very well then. Let’s dance.”   
  
He held out his hand, not even bothering to smile at all. He wasn’t supposed to be dancing with her today. He didn’t want to relieve the disaster that had been last year.   
Well at least, today she wouldn’t be able to destroy his night in the same way, he hoped.   
She took his hand with another sweet smile, and they made their way to the dance floor. And when they started moving, he had to admit they still had a good rhythm together. He decided to stay silent, hoping she would do the same, but of course, he never had what he wanted.   
  
\- “So. How are things going with Barnes ?” She still had that dumb smile on, and Tony wish he could just knock it out of her face.   
  
\- “Everything is good with James.” He replied, moving easily.   
  
\- “You didn’t invite him to Malibu, mh ?” There was the classic Sunset. Trying to attack.   
  
\- “As you can see.”   
  
\- “Why ? Not wanting to have him in future pictures ? That would be bad, of course. Since he’s going to be forgotten by the time the next Christmas rolls around.”   
  
\- “What are you implying ?”   
  
\- “That it’s not going to last, Tony dear.” She chuckled. “Don’t tell me you expect otherwise.”   
  
\- “And why wouldn’t I ?” He felt his anger rising.   
  
\- “Because you’re a sensible man. Well, I always thought you were. Perhaps I’m wrong. But I don’t think so. I think deep down, you know it won’t last long.”   
  
He wanted to laugh at her face. He wanted to let go of her hand and hip and just stroll out of there, call Bucky and say that he loved him.   
He wanted for her words to be less true.   
Of course he was in love with Bucky. That had nothing to do with the rest, though. Maybe Bucky didn’t love him. Maybe love wasn’t enough against everything. Who could want to be associated with him, in the long run ? Sweet, gentle, kind Bucky Barnes. In a relationship with the heir of the Merchant of Death ? Laughable.   
  
\- “And what do you know ?” He snapped.”   
  
\- “I know you, Tony. Whether you like it or not. I know you maybe better than anyone.”   
  
\- “You don’t.” He shook his head, and she just rolled her eyes like he was being silly.   
  
\- “Of course I do. And I understand you. Maybe that’s what really matters in all of this. I understand the pressure you’re under. From Howard, from SI, from the future. I understand you need to drink and forget. I understand when you don’t want to talk to me for a few days. Tell me, have Barnes ever seen you drink ? Really drink ?”   
  
He swallowed. He didn’t want to drink in front of Bucky, and hadn’t really, except for a couple of beers here and there. Of course he didn’t want Bucky to see him like that. He knew that he was the angry kind of drunk, when he wasn’t just sad.   
  
\- “And tell me, Tony, how is he going to react when you’ll try to buy your way out of fights, mh ? I don’t think poor little Barnes will appreciate it…” She continued.   
  
Of course, James wouldn’t like that. He thought again of the way he had barely wanted to celebrate Christmas with him.   
  
\- “And what of his friends ? You know what they thought of you before. What will happen, at the first sign of a fight ?” She tilted her head, like she was truly curious for the answer.   
  
Once again, he just couldn’t help but imagine his new friends, if a true fight went on between him and Bucky. He was sure they would side with Bucky, before even hearing anything. He could picture the mean glares he would receive. Maybe even the punches Steve would distribute.   
  
\- “Shut up.” He finally replied, without looking at her. Looking into nowhere, behind her shoulder was better.   
  
\- “Let’s be honest, Tony dear. It may hurt, but I’m gonna say it. Barnes deserves better. Well, look wise, he can’t get any better of course but… What are you going to do with a nice boy like that ?”   
  
He blinked once, twice. What are you going to do with a nice boy like that.   
  
\- “You need someone at your level, Tony. Someone who can get you. Who can take on the bad, and the ugly. What will Barnes do in front of a paparazzi once this goes out mh ? What will he do when he’ll understand… Who you are.”   
  
He felt like he had swallowed cotton. They weren’t even dancing anymore, he realized suddenly. He tried to swallow, to let go of her hand. She tightened her grip.   
  
\- “Think it over, dear.” She finally let go, patted his cheek, and left him there. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take care !


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey !
> 
> So mh, short chapter today but... Brace yourself for some angst  
> I still guarantee a happy ending, don't worry !!

Tony had never wanted more to retreat into a dark room that right now. He didn’t want to be around people, laughing and talking, to be around Christmas lights and tree and that joyful decor.   
He couldn’t help but hear again, and again, Sunset's words. To imagine Bucky’s disgusted face with him when he’ll realize what he is. If Bucky thought of him as an asshole before knowing him, what would he think of him when he’ll discover the truth ?   
Tony had always presented himself as a jerk. It was not a conscious choice, at first, but it had become this way after a while. He had thought that if he made the world think ill of him, at least the people who would scratch the surface would be agreeably surprised. But what had never crossed his mind, that was maybe he wasn’t only the jerk everyone saw in him, but he was worse than that. After all, he already had kind of a drinking problem, didn’t know how to really interact with people, and was building weapons at 17.   
Something was wrong with him, he knew it. He realized it even more, now, in that stupid venue at that stupid Christmas gala. And he realized it was just a matter of time before Bucky knew it too.   
  
The rest of the galas went in a blurr. Tony couldn’t think of anything else than Sunset’s words. “What will he do when he’ll understand who you are ?” “Barnes deserves better.” She was right. She was almost always right anyway. She was right about him. About them.

Tony didn’t, had never, deserved to be with someone like James Barnes. James was too nice, too kind, too good to be with him. He would blush at each kisses, even the one on his cheeks, especially if they were in public, whereas Tony had almost had sex in public before. He wouldn’t drink, whereas Tony had already had his stomach pumped 2 times. James had a real family, had real friends, he didn’t need someone like him. He would surely bring him down. He thought again, of his fantasy of spending Christmas with the Barnes family. Like he had any rights to just ruin Christmas for them. 

  
Without thinking, Tony downed a glass of whiskey, then another. The bartender was really stupid, or just wanted big tips, in any cases it was fine by him. He took one look at the Christmas tree and wanted to vomit. An hour ago, he really thought maybe next Christmas would be spent with James. He really thought one day he would like Christmas. He downed another glass. His next Christmas would be exactly like this one : He would do nothing, eat alone, and maybe cry a bit, in the dead of night.   
The rest of the night was a blur. He didn’t remember getting in the car with his parents, so he must have succeeded in avoiding Howard. He would have boxed his ear, for getting drunk in public.   
  
He woke up fully dressed the next day, by falling off his bed. He groaned, his head thumping and his stomach lurching. It was maybe his first hangover since he was with James.   
He blinked at the thought. Corrected himself. First time since he got into his deal with James. With Barnes.   
He took a decision, there, lying on the floor, hurting. He would let go of Bucky. He would stop believing anything good would ever happen to him. And everything was going to be okay. It would go back to the way things were before. He would be miserable, sure. But it was a small price to pay. “Barnes deserves better.” She was right.   
  
One hour later, he finally got out of his bath with a game plan. He would call Bucky. It was easier to do it over the phone, of course, he wouldn’t have to stare into those grey eyes. He would have to be a massive jerk, for the cleanest break possible. If he stayed friends with him, with the whole group really, it would just make things harder for him. And they deserved better anyway. If he was mean, at least they would maybe punch his face, but they wouldn’t try and talk to him.   
And then, he could let James get back to his life. Maybe realize he had been right all along. Anthony Edward Stark was indeed an asshole. That's why they couldn’t be together.   
Breathing in, Tony grabbed his phone, sat on the floor like the looser that he was. His heart felt like it was painfully sitting in his throat. His eyes were stinging. But he had to do it. He had to. He looked one last time at his screenlock, at the lovely smile sitting on Bucky’s lips, at his own too, before opening his phone. 

_BAEtiful - 6:07 : Hey nice ! What are you doing tonight ? We could maybe call ?_ _  
_ _  
_ God. He wanted to die. He closed his eyes, and without thinking, clicked on the call button.   
  
\- “Hey !” James answered after 2 rings.   
  
\- “Hey.”   
  
\- “So. We could also call now, I guess. How was the gala ?” Tony could almost picture Bucky’s smile. He hated everything.   
  
\- “Awesome, Sunset was there. We talked.”   
  
\- “Oh.” That’s all Bucky said, after a silence. Maybe he was waiting for Tony to continue. Maybe he was hoping for Tony to stop.   
  
\- “Yeah. So, guess the deal’s over now. Got her back.” It was a miracle he was able to talk, feeling his throat tightening like that.   
  
\- “What ?” It was nothing more than a whisper. Tony hated himself.   
  
\- “Yeah. The public display of affection did the tricks. She was really jealous, threw me in a cupboard, the whole deal, you know. So… Thank you, Barnes.” He was digging in his palm, but the pain was nothing compared to the one in his chest. “Deal’s over.”   
  
\- “I.. I don’t understand…” The pain in his voice made Tony want to jump out of the window.   
  
\- “You’re free ! Finally eh. Just in time for the New Year. Word of advice, you should maybe try something with Rogers, he doesn’t look like he would be too offended by that. Anyway, mh, she’s waiting for me, so.. See you at school uh ? Bye.” His voice was cracking, and he hoped Bucky didn’t heard that.   
  
He hung up and threw his phone on the bed, like it had burned him. He barely noticed the tears rolling down his face. He felt like breathing would poison him.   
  
He loved Bucky. That’s why he had to let him go. He had to repeat that, again, and again, and again. He was almost rocking himself, hugging his knees, trying to pressure his chest into stopping _hurting_ like that. It had never hurt this much. Not after the many, many insults Sunset had thrown at him. Not after the insults Howard had thrown him. Not after seeing his Mother staying silent as Howard was beating him. Nothing had ever hurt this much. But it was for the best. He had to let James go. He had to. Before he could ever see how bad Tony was. Before he could see the monster he was becoming, just like his father.   
He had to leave James now, because it would have hurt too much when James would leave him later.   
He could hear his phone vibrating, no his bed. Too much for it to be only Bucky. Besides, why would Bucky call. He was free. Maybe he would follow Tony’s advice and get with Steve.   
It felt like hours, staying on the floor, staring at the floor, crying. Maybe it had been hours.   
He kind of wished he was dead. He felt empty, he didn’t had any more tears to cry and the pain didn’t look like it was going anywhere so he finally got up and took his phone in hands.   
  
_Steve - 9:10 : What the fuck Tony ???_  
  
 _Natasha - 10:17 : What are you doing Stark ?_  
  
 _Clint - 10:19 : Call him rn and say sikes or i s2g_  
  
 _Sam - 10:23 : On the phone ? Fucking coward_   
  
Bucky had tried to call him three times. Steve, sixteen. He was definitely getting punched on Monday. Good. He deserved it. Maybe more than a punch. Much, much more.   
Surprisingly, Natasha had tried to call him too. He never had talked too much to Natasha, certainly not one on one. Maybe she was the one that was going to kill him. Tony wouldn’t mind that.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take care !


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello ! 
> 
> I feel like I'm not that great at angst, so it's not that much of an angsty chapter, even tho we're back with Bucky ! But I'll let you see that by yourself :) 
> 
> Enjoy !

Bucky felt like everything had stopped. Like the whole world had paused. Or more accurately, had freezed. He didn’t understand anything, couldn’t process anything. “The deal is over”, Tony had said. Just like that, he had ended everything. But not only he had ended it, he had diminished it. It had not been anything else than a deal, for him.    
Bucky didn’t understand. Nothing made sense anymore. Why would Tony have bothered that much, if it was just a deal ? Why the whole charade, with his friends, with his Ma ? Had this whole thing just been a joke to him ?    
He jumped when someone knocked on his door. He turned around, and blinked. It was Steve. Just Steve. Maybe Steve could tell him what was happening.    
  
\- “Hey Bucks ! You… You okay ?” Steve’s smile faltered. Bucky wanted to answer. Instead he burst into tears.    
  
\- “H-.. He b-broke up with me Steve I..” He was scooped up in a hug in no time. He felt no shame into hiding against his best friends, and crying a whole lot. He tried to explain, but Steve only shushed him, stating he needed to calm himself.    
  
After some time, he managed to stop crying. Steve was acting all mother-hen, getting him in a blanket, and looking at him. He was calmly waiting for Bucky to explain everything. And Bucky was tired of lying. So he did. He told him  _ everything.  _ How his letters had been sent, even if Steve knew that part, of he was scared of fucking up everything between them, how he just grabbed Stark and kissed him out of nowhere.   
How Tony had the idea of a fake relationship, to help Bucky cover up his “feelings”, and to help himself get over Sunset, or get her back. That at first they were just barely friends, that’s why it was so weird. But then Tony had started being all nice and sweet to him. That everything started becoming real. The kiss Tony initiated. How they just started dating for real.   
  
\- “Or so.. Or so I thought.. Since.. Since he said the deal was over. He… He said the public display of affection made Sunset mad I… I really thought he liked me, Steve.” His voice broke, the tears back in his eyes. He sniffed pitifully, and Steve just handed him a tissue.    
  
\- “It doesn’t make any sense. Really, it doesn’t. If it was just for Sunset.. He would have not acted like that with you when she could not see.”    
  
That’s indeed what made the least sense. Why the little coffee dates, and the makeout session, and the open hearted conversation on his bed if it was just for Sunset ? He dabbed his eyes.    
  
\- “Maybe he just.. Took a bonus.”    
  
The idea made him feel nauseous. Maybe it had just been a game for Tony. Maybe he just needed a distraction from everything, before getting back to Sunset and his real life.   
  
\- “Honestly ? I don’t think so.” Steve crossed his arms.    
  
\- “Why ? You hated him before.”    
  
\- “Not going to say I didn’t. I totally did.” He shrugged. “But then, you brought him, and we all thought “let’s play nice for Stark”, but he became Tony so quickly. He came with to see our matches… Paid us pizzas afterward. Hang out with us. I.. I don’t get why he would bother if it wasn’t for real, that’s all.”    
  
\- “I don’t get it either.” He replied in a small voice, after a silence. “But it’s over.”    
  
\- “No it’s not.”    
  
Bucky almost jumped out of his own skin, at the sound of Natasha’s voice. He blinked, stuttering at the sight of his friend. He remembered having plans with Steve today, but not with Natasha. He immediately looked at Steve, who was blushing a bit.    
  
\- “I texted the group while I was making tea…”    
  
\- “Steve !” He heard “blabbermouth” in Tony’s voice in his head. It hurt.    
  
\- “We do not have time to discuss Steve’s and his mouth he can’t keep closed. We’re here to talk about you, Yasha, and Anthony.”    
  
\- “It’s over Nat. There’s nothing to discuss at all.”    
  
\- “So, you do not love him ? Is that what you are telling me ?”    
  
\- “Wh.. What ?” He blinked, watching her push Steve aside to sit in front of Bucky on the bed. “I didn’t say that…”    
  
He hadn’t even really thought of it properly, formulating the words “I’m in love with Tony”. Never mind saying it outloud. He was in love with Tony. And now Tony had broken up with him. Just the thought brought new tears to his eyes. God he was such a loser…    
  
\- “So you do love him.” She stated, like it was a matter of fact. Like it was so simple. He blinked, opened his mouth to reply, but closed it after a second. She was right. Natasha was always right. “You deserve better than-”   
  
\- “Don’t say that ! Why wouldn’t I deserve Tony ?” He protested, a bit angry all of the sudden. She didn’t have any rights to say that. No one had any rights to say that. He didn’t deserve better than Tony. Tony didn’t deserve better than him. They were good together. Weren’t they ? Natasha smiled.    
  
\- “You deserve better than a break-up over the phone, Yasha.” She took his hand. “You deserve explanation.”    
  
He hesitated. Maybe he should just own up to everything.    
  
\- “I had an explanation. We had a deal, after the letters that got out. You remember right ?” She nodded. She had her eternal poker face on. “I.. I didn’t want Steve to believe I was in love with him.”    
  
At first, he would have said “still in love with him”. But the more time he spent with Tony, the more he understood, and had the absolute certainty that what he had felt for Steve was nowhere love level.    
  
\- “And he.. He said he would either piss off Bain or get her back. So we were in a fake relationship.”    
  
She nodded.    
  
\- “I know.”    
  
\- “What ?!” Both him and Steve said, shocked at her confession. “How do you know ?” He added.   
  
\- “Yasha, you are not a good liar. Even if you are shy, you don’t act like that with a boyfriend. At first, you were barely talking with him, you almost never touched each other, and you weren’t even dating for real.” He stuttered. He should have known his lies would never go past Natasha. They always joke that she would become a spy one day. Maybe she would. “But then something changed.” She continued, not bothering to let him formulate a thought. “Didn’t it ?”    
  
He blushed. He couldn’t pinpoint the exact point when things did change. Maybe around the first coffee was way too early. Maybe when Bucky brought him the pie was too late. He didn’t quite remember when the line between fake and real blurred. It was answer enough for Natasha though.    
  
\- “So. You still deserve an explanation. I do not believe that idea of him coming back to Sunset Bain. He’s looking at her like she’s something found on the bottom of his shoes. He looks at you like you hang up the moon just for him.”    
  
\- “He does.” Agreed Steve, nodding.    
  
\- “Well maybe you both got it wrong. Maybe I.. Maybe I got it wrong. When I thought he was more than an asshole.”    
  
\- “Yasha, no. You didn’t. Remember, in your letter, you said you found him kind. You wrote that there was something else beside the surface.”    
  
\- “I.. I did.” He sighted. Looking at his phone, hoping that maybe Tony had called him back. But of course, he hadn’t. But he suddenly understood something. “How do you know that, Tasha ?”    
  
He had never told her what he had written exactly in the letter. After all, why would he have done such a thing, he barely just explained the whole story to her. But somehow…   
  
\- “You didn’t.”    
  
She was looking at him, not a once of shame on her face. In fact, she even looked a little bit proud.   
  
\- “I did. And I did well.” She crossed her arms. “And it’s partly Steve’s fault.”   
  
\- “What ? What did I do now ?!” He was looking like a confused puppy.    
  
\- “I believe he helped clean out your room. He gave me a book. Inside the books were letters. I was curious, I read them.”    
  
Bucky was gaping now. He remembered having stashed the 4 enveloppes in a book under his bed. He remembered having asked Steve to help him clean the mess his room had become. He didn’t not remember the book in Steve’s possession.    
  
\- “Why, Natasha.. I.. Why did you send them ?”    
  
\- “Because I was tired of seeing you alone, and lonely. And I admit it, at first I thought it would maybe spark something between you and Steve. I almost didn’t sent the one to Anthony. But I was wrong in my judgment, nothing could ever happen between you and Steve. And I was wrong in thinking Stark was too much of an ass to deserve you.” She shrugged.    
  
Bucky looked at her, at loss for words. He felt so, so tired all of the sudden. He didn’t even have it in him to bed mad. Steve was blushing, but not saying anything, looking at the blanket like it was containing some sort of secret.    
  
\- “It doesn’t matter, anyway. He doesn’t want me anymore.” He said in a small voice, after a moment.   
  
She rolled her eyes so hard it almost hurt to watch.   
  
\- “Did you listen ? He doesn’t want Sunset. There must be something else. Maybe that witch said something to him. Maybe it was his father. In any case, I’m certain that Tony Stark is in love with you. And you, James Barnes, are going to get him back.”    
  
\- “How ?” He frowned. She made it sound like it was a fatality. It wasn’t. He couldn’t force Tony to love him back. He didn’t even know how he could face him right now.    
  
\- “You’re going to tell him how you truly feel. Because I do not think you have done it. And maybe it will change his mind then.”    
  
\- “He’s in Malibu, Tash.”    
  
\- “He’s coming home tomorrow.”    
  
\- “How do you know ?” Steve asked, apparently as confused as Bucky.    
  
\- “I asked Jarvis, his very nice butler. I called him.” She shrugged again, and Bucky couldn’t help but smile. Of course she did.    
  
\- “And what if he doesn’t want me ? What if he was serious and doesn’t care about me ?”    
  
\- “Well, it will hurt. And you’ll hate it. But we’ll be here. And I also believe it won’t happen.”    
  
She took his hand, squeezing it lightly, a small smile on her lips.   
Maybe she was right. Too many things weren’t adding up to a sudden break-up over the phone only to get back with his ex. Especially that ex.    
  
Bucky thought again of Tony, sprawled out on his bed, head on Bucky’s stomach, talking in low voices about everything. Little bits and pieces, like he was simply voicing his train of thought. He remembered how he ended apologizing, that it probably wasn’t interesting at all. His smile when Bucky had asked him to continue.   
He thought again of Sunset’s word, at that party. “Taking out my trash ?” “He’s very high maintenance.” She had talked about Tony like an object. Tony had agreed he didn’t want her back after.    
  
\- “Well. let’s get my man back.” He made a small smile. Maybe he could still kiss Tony at midnight for the New Year. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take care !


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey !
> 
> So, I admit it's weird to get so close to the end, so it's slowing me down, but you're closer and closer to the happy end ! I think after this one, maybe another chapter and an epilogue, maybe two chapters, idk yet but you're almost there. 
> 
> And good news ! I'm thinking of a sequel ! So the boys will stay a bit longuer :)

He did what he always did when things were fucked. He numbed the pain. Boy, was he good at that. He stole bottles from Howard’s liquor cabinet and drank. He smashed his phone in a wall within half of it, the only way he thought to stop seeing that damned picture where he looked so happy. He cried so much, he thought he would drown in his tears. He was barely aware of Maria coming to see him and founding him crying on his bed. He recalled her saying Jarvis, but he wasn’t Jarvis. He was Tony. Tony the fuck up.    
He fell asleep with her hand in his hair. She hadn’t done something like that since he was 4. Maybe it was a big deal then.    
  
When the butler of the Malibu’s house woke him, he startled so bad he went tumbling out of his bed. Everything hurt too much, his head especially, but at least he was focused on the pain. He didn’t think anything else. He didn’t know why that was a good thing at first, but he knew it was. The only coherent thought in his head was “You deserve this”. Who was he to contradict himself ?    
He didn’t know why but there was a rush. The butler made him drink water and take some aspirin and almost pushed him under the shower. Grumbling, he went, and the hot water helped a lot with everything. But then he remembered.    
  
He wondered if Bucky was sad or more angry. He hoped angry. Anger seemed easier to deal with. Tony wished he could be angry instead of sad himself. But he could never choose.    
He stayed too long under the shower, the stream almost burning in skin after a while, wishing he could drown. But after the fifth time someone told him to come out, he finally did, patting his red skin without looking once into the mirror. He didn’t want to see himself.    
When he finally came out, his mom was waiting for him. Weird.   
  
\- “You’re getting home, Anthony.”   
  
\- “What ?” He frowned, not understanding shit. He was supposed to have that dumb new year party.   
  
\- “I feel after yesterday it’s best. I don’t know what happened with you, Anthony, but you need to fix it.”    
  
He couldn’t. It was beyond any repair, any fix. It was destroyed. He didn’t say it. He was always supposed to fix everything. His broken codes. His bad manners. Himself. Like that was ever going to happen.    
  
\- “Scared I might pull the same stunt on New Year’s Eve ?” He took pleasure in her pinched expression without knowing why. Maybe because at least that was a reaction.    
  
\- “You’re lucky Howard didn’t find you like that.” Was all she said before opening the door to exit. Just before doing so, she looked at him one last time. “I don’t know what’s on your mind right now, Anthony, but I do not think you need to punish yourself this harshly for anything.”    
  
She closed the door behind her without him answering. He was clenching his fists, glaring at the door like he could burn it. She didn’t know anything. She didn’t know him. She didn’t know shit. She was pretending to be a mom when really she was just a figure at the side of Howard. And now she acted like she was caring. Hell would freeze over before that happened.    
  
When the door opened again, it was the butler, to say the driver was waiting for him. He grabbed his suitcase and felt like he was fleeing the house. For a second, he wished he could do that for real. At least he didn’t see Howard or his mom on the way out. He rolled himself in a ball once in the jet and decided to sleep. At least, when he was sleeping, he wasn’t thinking. He was tired of thinking. That and he was still feeling pretty bad from that massive hangover. Awesome. He deserved it. His mom could say whatever the hell she wanted. He deserved pain. He knew it.    
He woke up just before landing, and thought only of sleeping more. The more awoke he was, the more he was realizing the pain in his chest wasn’t only the hangover. Fucking feelings.    
He wished he was as bad as they were describing him. If he was heartless, it would hurt less.    
  
He only sighted when he was in front of the manor. Entering it, he neatly put away his coat, while screaming :   
  
\- “JARVIS ! I’m home !”    
  
Maybe Jarvis would take pity on him, seeing his state, and give him hot chocolate. Better yet, won’t say anything when he would put bailey’s in said hot chocolate. Because Jarvis was the best. But when he came in the kitchen, he blinked slowly. Well that sucked.    
  
In front of him was Steve, Natasha, and Bucky, sitting and drinking what seemed to be Jarvis’s hot chocolate. His heart literally lurched.    
  
\- “Welcome home, Sir. Your friends have been waiting for you for the better part of an hour.”    
  
To be honest, he thought Steve and Natasha, when they would look at him after that, would glare at him like he was the worst thing walking the Earth. He didn’t think Bucky would be able to stand looking at him. Apparently he was wrong, since the three of them were just looking at him, all serious, but with no apparent symptoms of hate. They just nodded at him to say hello. But the more important was : what the  _ fuck  _ were they doing here.    
  
\- “What the fuck Jarvis…” he said, under his breath.    
  
\- “Well, Sir, that’s no manners to be having in front of guests.”    
  
He wanted to die. His heart was surely about to give out. He thought maybe he was a young cardiac or some shit. Or maybe they had done voodoo and he was about to die on the floor. Good for them he guessed. He tried to stutter an answer, when Bucky got up.   
  
\- “Can I talk to you, Tony ?” He was blushing, or well Tony thought he saw him blush, since he promptly looked at the floor after meeting Bucky’s eyes for a millisecond. He kind of wanted to say no. To just go away and forget about the whole thing. But Jarvis would ask. And Steve and Natasha surely kill him.    
  
\- “Sure.” He swallowed and exited the kitchen, waiting for Bucky to follow him. He heard his footsteps, so he didn’t stop, and got to the main living room. He didn’t want to face him. He just couldn’t. But maybe if he acted like a jerk once again, he would just leave and understand it was for the better. “What do you want, Barnes ?” It hurt, just to say it. His throat felt like it was full of thorns.    
  
\- “Hello to you too, Stark.” Despite the use of the surname, his tone was soft. He decided to just sit on the couch and make himself at home, since after all he was. He schooled his expression, and finally looked at Bucky. Waiting for more. “I think we need to talk.”    
  
\- “Said everything over the phone, I believe.”    
  
\- “I think we should have talked for some time now anyway.” Tony knew this voice. This look. The “I’m trying to project confidence even when I don’t feel any”. Tony hated that he recognized it so easily.    
  
\- “Well. Talk then.” He crossed his arms, hoping Bucky wouldn’t cry in front of him. He didn’t know what would happen if he did. Bucky took a deep breath, still looking at him, and god he hated seeing those beautiful eyes seem so sad.    
  
\- “I think what you said over the phone was bullshit. So. I want a real reason, if you… If you want to break up.” His voice was wobbly, but he managed to keep meeting his eyes. God he was so much more than Tony could ever be.    
  
\- “It’s not a break-up, Barnes, wake up. It was just a deal we both-”   
  
\- “Bullshit !” He cut him off, clenching his fists. “It was at first. I know it was. But you can’t.. You have to admit it was more after.”    
  
\- “And what if I don’t ?” He replied, in a breath.    
  
\- “Then you.. You’re lying to yourself, Tony. Because… Because we had something. It was becoming more and more, and you made it real when you kissed me.” He finally looked at the floor, seemingly unable to continue while staring at his face. Tony understood. He couldn’t stand himself at the moment either.    
  
He thought maybe Bucky wouldn’t be too attached yet. That maybe it would hurt, but he would get over it. Maybe he could get Steve and be all happy. He hadn’t anticipated him wanting something with Tony after that phone call. He was wrong, apparently.    
After a very pregnant pause, he still couldn’t find any words. Bucky was right of course, but he should have told him he wasn’t. But that was too hard, looking at him, breathing heavily to keep calm or retain himself crying.    
  
\- “So… I want to understand. I need to. Why are you.. Why are you doing this, Tony ? I thought… I thought we were good. Together, I mean…”    
  
He swallowed with difficulty. He wanted to scoop him in his arms and never let go. To ask him to help become a better person. To hug him and make all of his demons go away. But he couldn’t ask that of him. Bucky didn’t deserve to be dragged down by him. By everything wrong with him. He couldn’t burden him like that. He wouldn’t allow it. Problem was, letting go was so hard. So, so hard. Especially since Bucky was right there, all honest and precious, being the most wonderful thing that ever happened in Tony’s life. He wanted to be selfish. For just a moment.    
  
\- “What are you expecting, Barnes. I got bored. That’s how it rolls. Am an asshole. You said so yourself, remember ? Your little letter ?”   
  
He didn’t even notice he was almost destroying the cushion he was digging his hand into. He couldn’t look at him anymore, anyway, so he looked at the floor. Maybe if he was mean enough, James would just slap him and go on his merry way. It would be best for everything.    
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take care !


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey !! 
> 
> Nothing much to say today, so just enjoy today's chapter ! Feeeeeels yay !!

Bucky would forever be grateful for his friends. He definitely would. Because if it wasn’t for them, he would have never, ever, dared just go to Tony’s house and ask Jarvis if they could just wait there for him to arrive.    
The polite butler had been charming, accepting to shelter them while waiting for Tony and had even given them hot chocolate and had tried to make conversation. He always had been nice, in any case. When Tony wasn’t in any condition to drive, it was always him, so Bucky had already seen him a few times by now. But today he wasn’t in any shape to make proper conversation, his nerves driving him mad. Would Tony just throw them out ? Would he yell at Bucky ? Would he arrive with Sunset here ? Nothing good could come out of it, Bucky had been sure.    
  
So when Tony had actually arrived, alone, and shocked instead of angry to see them there, Bucky could almost cry in victory. He hadn’t dared looking at Tony too much, afraid that if he were to look too long, maybe he would just disappear. But he hadn’t. He had just got scolded by Jarvis for his bad manners, and without thinking too much, Bucky threw himself in the waters.   
  
\- “Can I talk to you, Tony ?” He could feel the blush, going all the way down his neck, thinking maybe there was the moment when Tony would just tell him to fuck off.    
  
\- “Sure.” He replied, without barely looking at him. Before following, he threw a look towards Natasha, who mouthed a “go on” and squeezed his hand before letting him go.   
  
He followed Tony to a luxurious living room. Everything made Bucky feel like he was an intruder here, from the fact that it was so spotless and perfect that it didn’t look lived in, to the one where it was way too expensive to just stand here in his raggedy jeans. But well, at least Tony too, was wearing raggedy jeans. Even if it was surely an effect and they weren’t raggedy at all. Finally Tony faced him, and it broke his train of thoughts.    
  
\- “What do you want, Barnes ?” It almost made him flinch, but it was a close call. Why was he so cold ? He could still recall the last messages. What had happened between those hearts emojis and this ?    
  
\- “Hello to you too, Stark.” He said, softly, without any venoms. He couldn’t have any, not while facing Tony. He looked at him sitting on the couch, and wanted nothing more than to curl up at his side. He couldn’t. “I think we need to talk.”    
  
\- “Said everything over the phone, I believe.” He sounded casual. But Bucky noticed his tense posture. He tried to musture all of the confidence he possessed, tried to remember Natasha’s word, before replying.    
  
\- “I think we should have talked for some time now anyway.”   
  
\- “Well. Talk then.” He crossed his arms, his posture more closed off, and Bucky had to take a deep breath before continuing. He had to admit it, he was scared of Tony’s reaction.    
  
“I think what you said over the phone was bullshit. So. I want a real reason, if you… If you want to break up.” He was grateful for the fact that despite his unsure voice, he was still able to look Tony in the eyes, despite how it hurt.    
  
\- “It’s not a break-up, Barnes, wake up. It was just a deal we both-”   
  
\- “Bullshit !” He snapped, cutting him off mid-phrase. The pain of his nails digging in the flesh of his palms aided him keeping a clear head. “It was at first. I know it was. But you can’t.. You have to admit it was more after.”    
  
Because it was. Tony wouldn’t have kissed him, if not. Tony wouldn’t have endured all those lunches, for nothing, all those baseball matches, all those “dates”. They were something. They had been something.    
Bucky wanted him back.    
  
\- “And what if I don’t ?”    
  
\- “Then you.. You’re lying to yourself, Tony. Because… Because we had something. It was becoming more and more, and you made it real when you kissed me.”    
  
He couldn’t look at him while saying all of that. He finally looked at the floor, remembering that first kiss, that had sealed everything in place. Tony had kissed him for a reason. He knew it. But after a while without any response, the thought that maybe it had been for a reason, but that reason wasn’t there anymore came to his mind. So he added :    
  
\- “So… I want to understand. I need to. Why are you.. Why are you doing this, Tony ? I thought… I thought we were good. Together, I mean…”    
  
He had to understand. Why was Tony throwing him away like that ? Why breaking everything, when what they were building together had everything nice. He had thought Tony was happy with him. Could he have been that far off ? Could Tony just look at him and say he hadn’t any feelings for him ? He finally looked at him, and noticed how hard he was gripping his cushion. Maybe all of his indifference was just a mask.    
  
\- “What are you expecting, Barnes. I got bored. That’s how it rolls. Am an asshole. You said so yourself, remember ? Your little letter ?”   
  
It was like a slap to his face, to remember this letter. He hadn’t been all that nice in it. It was practically just him writing that he liked Tony’s face despite him being a jerk. But the key word was practically here.    
  
\- “I do remember.” He said, in a small voice, incapable of talking any louder. “I remember being shocked at the fact that you had been so kind to me, helping me when you didn’t even know my name.” He took a step toward Tony, not breaking eye contact. “I said I thought maybe your reputation was just bullshit and you were a good guy, underneath what everyone was saying.” Another step. “And the most important is that I wrote another letter.”    
  
\- “I don’t want any more letters.” Tony replied, in a breath, like he couldn’t manage a full voice either.    
  
\- “Good. I don’t have it with me anyway. But let me tell you what it said anyway. What I wanted to say to you for some time now.” Tony shook his head, ready surely to finally snap at him and threw him out but too late, he was launched. “I love you, Tony.”    
  
He was impressed with himself of how steady that had come out. It was almost harder to say it than it had been to come out to his Ma.    
Tony for his part, just looked lost, opening his mouth like a fish. He looked stupid like that. It was cute.    
  
\- “What ?” He finally said, almost more for himself than for Bucky, but he still caught it.    
  
\- “I said : I love you, Tony.” He swallowed, the words heavy on his tongue but still coming out. As simple as breathing. Because it was simple, in the end, to love him. “I got a crush on you because I thought you were kind. But then I got to know you, the real you, and I fell in love with you. With you being kind, sweet, funny, smart, sassy, and amazing.” He was a bit tumbling on words, but now that it had begun, he couldn’t stop it. Tony just looked down, blushing furiously.    
  
\- “I love the bed hair you got when you pull up in front of my house and I just know you got up late but still managed to be on time at my house. I love the way you scrunch your nose when I ask you to eat at lunch and you don’t want to, but you still do it because I’m bribing you with pies. I love the way you knew my order after 2 passes at the coffee shop for our dates. I love how warm your hands are always warm, and you always manage to warm me up without me asking. I love-”    
  
\- “Stop it.” Tony’s voice was cracking, but the words still resonated enough to be heard over his speech, and managed to stop him at once. “Just stop it.” He was still looking at the carpet, refusing to meet Bucky’s eyes, and it hurt. Maybe he was just saying all of that for nothing. Natasha was right, it was going to hurt.    
  
\- “Why ?” He finally replied, afraid he was going to break and just weep in front of Tony. That would be awkward. “Because.. Because all of this is proof that it’s more than a deal ?”   
  
\- “Shut up… Just shut up.” He said, getting his hand to his face, Bucky still unable to see him properly, since he was almost folded in half.    
  
\- “Why Tony ? I thought things of you before getting to know you, but I never pictured you as a coward.” The words left his mouth without his brain caughting up. Maybe he could push a button to get a proper reaction.    
  
\- “Because we can’t be together !” He finally said, getting up and looking at him with big eyes.   
  
Big, brown eyes, full of tears. Tony was crying. That broke Bucky. He made another step toward him without thinking, but Tony lifted his hand in the “stop” motion.    
  
\- “I don’t understand.” He said, in a whisper. If Tony was crying, why was he pushing him away ?    
  
\- “We can’t be together, James.”    
  
He looked desperate. He sounded like it too. Like admitting it once more was just breaking up. Like it hurt to say it. Like it hurt to hear it.    
  
\- “Why ?!” He snapped, wiping his eyes quickly with the back of his hand, because he didn’t want to cry too.    
  
\- “Come on..” Tony shook his head.   
  
\- “No, tell me !”   
  
\- “Because you deserve better !”    
  
The words resonated in the room. It had a weird echo. Maybe it was just in Bucky’s head, but it was like those words were feeling every inch of the living room. And they just didn’t made any sense. They were just stupid, and dumb, and the worst thing he ever heard. But Tony looked so devastated, biting his lip, maybe to avoid sobs getting out, his arms around him.    
  
\- “That’s just stupid.” He said, blinking slowly. It must be a dream, to be this stupid, surely. Tony couldn’t have just said that. “I.. It just can’t be really why... Why are you saying that ?”    
  
\- “Because it’s the truth.” He said, bowing his head. “I just understood it before you.”    
  
Bucky couldn’t stand it anymore. It was too much. He threw himself at Tony and caught him in his arms. Squeezed him, maybe a bit too hard, hiding in his neck. He felt his eyes burning with unshed tears, and couldn’t believe all of this was for that.    
  
\- “I never thought you were stupid, but god you are…” He whispered, refusing to let go. “I love you Tony. I love you. I deserve you, because I want you, and I love you.”    
  
He waited. Afraid, but not letting him go for one bit, afraid he would just push him away and it would be over. He squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for Tony to do something, anything.   
And finally, slowly, he put his arm around him. Slowly, Tony hugged him back.    
Bucky swore he would never let go. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take care !


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello ! 
> 
> So. This is the end, my friends ! I decided not to had any epilogue, and I think we'll maybe take right after for the sequel. Because there will be one. Maybe not right away, I need to still work some little things out, but there will be ! That's for sure. 
> 
> I have some other things to say but I'll meet you and the end notes for that ! Enjoy !!

The whole world seemed to stop. In the blink of an eye, Tony found himself in Bucky’s arms, squeezed (really hard) against his chest. He couldn’t help but cry a bit more, the tears just rolling down his cheeks like there was no tomorrow. He hated crying. It was gross and stupid and it would always leave him with the biggest headaches and an empty feeling in his chest. Well maybe the emptiness wouldn’t be able to settle, since James was just crushing him with this hug.    
  
\- “I never thought you were stupid, but god you are…” Bucky whispered, almost in his ear. “I love you Tony. I love you. I deserve you, because I want you, and I love you.”    
  
His heart made a painful jump in his chest, and he thought he was about the wail like a baby. The silence was making him even more aware of the words resonating in his mind. Again, and again, like an echo. I love you. And James seemed to just be waiting for him to do something, anything, to reply maybe, but he wasn’t letting go. And if he was honest, Tony didn’t want him to let go either. He wanted to be selfish.    
  
He finally hugged James back. Slowly, his arms went up and around the other boy, and he finally hugged him back with a vengeance. It was like Bucky was his life line. His only way to keep breathing. Maybe that was the case. He didn’t care at the moment. He closed his eyes and buried his head in the crook of his neck, breathing hard. He was about to apologize, when a voice made them both jump out of their skins.    
  
\- “He’s right you know. You’re an idiot.”    
  
When he looked toward the voice, he found Steve, at the entry of the room, leaning against the door’s frame, arms crossed. He was smiling a bit, and Tony would blush if he could. It was kind of awkward for Steve to see him like that. His ego would suffer later, he just knew it. But he couldn’t find it in himself to let go of Bucky now, even if it was to wipe his eyes. Bucky too, was looking at Steve, frowning a bit.    
  
\- “What are you doing here ?”    
  
\- “Just wanted to make sure you guys were okay.” He shrugged. It was painfully obvious he had listened in to a fair bit of the conversation, in Tony’s opinion. They hadn’t been gone for that.    
  
\- “We are. Can you piss off, now ?” Bucky said, although they were no heat to the words. In fact when Tony threw a look at him, he was smiling.    
  
\- “Nah, not yet. I just want to put the final nail in the coffin.”    
  
\- “What…” Tony was just confused now.    
  
\- “So, as I was saying, you are an idiot.”    
  
\- “Care to elaborate ?” Bucky said, still not moving, not letting go. Maybe he was afraid Tony would go if he did. Maybe he wasn’t all that wrong with that reasoning.    
  
\- “That’s just pure bullshit, saying Bucky deserves better.” Ah, so Tony was right. He had been listening in for a bit now. Sniffling, he finally took one hand off Bucky’s back - that had the effect of tensing him up - and wiped his eyes with the back of it. “And not only because that idiot loves you.”    
  
\- “Hey !” Bucky frowned.   
  
\- “You know, Tony, I’ve known him since we were toddlers. And you changed him. Not in a bad sense, like he’s a completely different person now, but.. I think you helped him get out of his dumb shell.”    
  
\- “Stop insulting me, punk.” Bucky was blushing now. Tony didn’t think he could do anything but blink at this point, like his voice had been taken away.    
  
\- “But you know I’m right, Bucks. Before we had to coax you into a pizza party after a match. You never went to any parties, even with us. And I think you weren’t letting yourself be truly happy. You were holding back.” He shrugged, again. “But then, Tony barged in your life, and you changed. You allowed yourself to get a good thing.” He was looking at Bucky while talking, but then he turned his eyes on him. “And I think you too, should allow yourself to get a good thing. You’re making Bucky happy. That’s all that matters. There’s no concept of deserving, in this. So just stop being stupid, eh Stark ?”   
  
He nodded, looking proud of himself, and without waiting for a response, he turned around and went back, probably to Jarvis, who was probably wondering what the fuck was happening in the house. Even if he would never think that in such a manner.    
Tony finally looked at Bucky, who was looking at him, waiting. Tony allowed himself to get lost in those eyes, trying to think of words to put on what he was feeling. But after a moment, he found none. So he simply put his hand back on the back of Bucky’s neck, and leaned in to kiss him. It was not their best kiss, not by a long shot. But there was something special in this. An admission, maybe. An answer.    
  
Tony had never felt this good with anyone else than Bucky. He hadn’t only been the first person to really look, to see Tony, but also the first person to love him after. And Tony had never wanted something more right now, than to melt against him and just forget all about the rest of the world. And when Bucky kissed him back, it was like all the pain Tony had ever felt was just lifting off. A balm to his aching heart. He had tried to let go, thinking it was the right thing. But James had just grabbed him, and who was he to object ?    
  
When they finally separated, they had shifted a bit. Bucky’s hands were now on Tony’s cheeks, and Tony had one hand in his hair, the other on his shoulder.    
  
\- “I’m sorry.” He murmured. Bucky flinched.   
  
\- “For what ?” He replied in the same voice.   
  
\- “For being an idiot.”    
  
His eyes seemed to illuminate. His face broke into a smile. He stole a kiss, then another before finally replying.    
  
\- “I forgive you, if you promise to stop trying to make decisions for me.” He said, and Tony finally grinned in return.   
  
\- “You make a hard bargain there, Barnes.”    
  
\- “Take it or leave it, Stark.”    
  
Tony kissed him in response. It was an even worse kiss, since they were both grinning like idiots, so they stopped shortly after. Placing his forehead against Bucky’s, he closed his eyes.    
  
\- “I love you too.”    
  
\- “Makes you a bigger idiot.” He replied, after a short pause. That got a laugh out of him.   
  
\- “Nah, pretty sure you’re the one being stupid for loving me.”    
  
\- “Nuh-uh, we already said you were the idiot. You even apologize and all.”    
  
\- “So you’re saying I apologized for loving you ? Something’s not right there.” He couldn’t help but smile with all his teeth. The banter made him feel better in an instant.    
  
\- “Didn’t say that.”    
  
\- “I’ll let this one slide, but I’m pretty sure you did.”    
  
\- “Shut up.”    
  
He laughed again. He suddenly felt the tiredness from his bad night, hangover, and trip as well as the emotional turmoil fell on him. It was not good. But he couldn’t help but smile.    
  
\- “So.. Did Jarvis made you hot chocolate ?”   
  
\- “He did.” They finally stood back a little from each other, to be able to look at each other mostly.    
  
\- “Is there some left ?”    
  
\- “I think, yeah.” Bucky took his cue and took his hand, ready to lead him to the kitchen when he stopped. “I don’t remember where your kitchen is.” Tony snorted at that, and squeezing gently his hand, led him back to the kitchen.   
  
His eyes were puffy, his cheeks still a bit red, and he was surely looking like shit but no one made any comments. Neither did they when all eyes went to them holding hands. He could almost swear he saw Steve little sigh of relief from the corner of his eye. Natasha simply smiled. And Jarvis, bless him, didn’t look at all phased by any of it. He simply put a steaming mug in front of Tony’s, and went to cut up some vegetables. Tony loved Jarvis.    
  
They all sipped in silence, comfortable in each other’s presence. It was oddly nice. Never Tony had thought he would be happy to just drink hot chocolate with friends in silence after having just bawled his eyes out. But the comforting hand of Bucky sitting on his thigh must have helped. When he finished his cup, Jarvis once again bless him, said since he needed the kitchen to begin dinner, Tony should probably give them the tour. Of course, he wouldn’t do the whole mansion, no one cared about that, but it was a nice enough reason to get the hell out of the kitchen with Jarvis’s permission. And Natasha and Steve, the best of friends, pretexted having something to do. They never really said what, but after some thanks to Jarvis for his delicious pie and hot chocolate, went on their merry way. Tony hoped they weren’t just waiting in Natasha’s car. That wouldn’t have been awkward.    
  
In any case, he simply took once more Bucky’s hand and took him to his bedroom. He didn’t think James would care much about the house right now, anyways. And once the door was closed, he couldn’t help but kiss him. Kiss him like he had missed him, which he did. But after a while, he simply pushed Bucky to his bed.   
  
\- “Sit.”    
  
\- “M’not a dog.”   
  
\- “I am not saying you are. Just wait, please.”    
  
\- “Fine.” Bucky smiled and sat.    
  
Tony went on to search his drawer, and dig up the nice velvet box. He should have wrapped it, he thought, before turning around and launching it toward Bucky. Thanks to his fast reflex, he caught it - or it would have ended up in his face. Tony never had a nice aim.    
  
\- “What’s that ?” Bucky looked at him, curious. Waiting.   
  
\- “Merry Christmas.” Tony shrugged. He was scared Bucky wouldn’t like it. But it was too late to back up now, was it ?    
  
Bucky opened it, slowly, smiling. He blinked, surely reading the inscription. Tony didn’t remember which face it was on, so he quickly added.   
  
\- “Turn it around.” Bucky did. And when he finally looked at Tony, his smile was blinding.    
  
\- “I love it. And I love you too.”    
  
He got up and went to kiss Tony, again. And then he put on the necklace. And watching him, Tony felt like an idiot. He had almost let this go, when it had been the best thing that had ever happened to him.    
But at least, Bucky had not let go. And it seemed like he wouldn’t any time soon. When Bucky read once more the inscription, before smiling again at Tony, his heart seemed so full it hurt.    
  
\- “Of course you do Sugarplum.”    


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here it is, the end ! 
> 
> It was my first long fanfiction, and I want to thank all of you for following me to the end of it ! 
> 
> Especially those of you who took time to comment on several chapters, so thanks to MissKitty_sapphire ; Syifrae ; LaceyLuck ; KahunaBurger and tchouli for your several comments, it helped me to keep going ! I hope you liked the ending :) And thank you to each person who did put a comment, even if it was once ! ;) And thank you so much for you kudos, I still can't believe this many people liked my story ! 
> 
> EDIT 03/12/20 : The sequel is up ! It's called Cough Syrup, and I hope you'll like it ! 
> 
> The sequel is still not named, and I really don't know when I'll post, but maybe I'll put an update here to let you know when it's up ! 
> 
> Thank you again for following this story, I hope you enjoyed this ride with me. 
> 
> Take care !!

**Author's Note:**

> Take care !


End file.
